Pamela F.

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Well divorce sucks. No matter how you slice it. But I am slowly coming to terms with all of it. I've lost a lot of weight. All my "skinny" clothes from before are getting too big. It's a great feeling! I'm going to have to start hitting the garage sales and goodwill for some new clothes to wear for a while. My kids think it's great

My husband of 15 years came to me one week after I got home from the hospital and said he wants a divorce because he is "unhappy". I am lost. I am shocked. I am devastated. Everything I thought was my life.. isn't. I don't even know where to begin healing from this. Add to it the dealing with the bypass and all of those thoughts and feelings. I just don't even know what to do. I am moving home to Oregon to be with my family. But I just can't imagine my life without him. I mean seriously we have been together since we were 15! Who does this? Who gives up on a 20  year relationship and 4 kids just like that... and if he was unhappy why didn't he come to me before it got to this point so we could try counceling? I'm just so completely lost.

Tomorrow is my big day. I am mostly excited. With a little nervous thrown in for fun. I will miss my kids. I know it sounds crazy but being an Army wife (therefore single mom at times) they really are my entire world. I keep going over in my head the fact that soon I will be able to actually keep up with them! Instead of being that mom that takes her kids to the park but just sits on the bench because she's tired. Say goodbye to that life. Say hello to the skating rink, the pool, the lake! All the fun stuff will just be even more fun.
Yes I think it will be worth the risks. Yes I will miss some foods that I love now. But after I rock this tool for a good solid year maybe I will have a little "food perspective". Making it easier to make the better choices. Going to see a councelor to deal with my head/food issues. Found a support group in my area. Found a great church full of amazing people. I have such an amazing support group in my family and close friends. I am so grateful.
So I bid you farewell fat me!

I finally have my date! March 10, 2011! I am so excited to finally have it scheduled but still a little disappointed at it being so far away it seems. I know how fast time flies by, and it will be here before you know it. I am concerned because 7.5 weeks after my surgery we will be going to Disneyland for a week. Here's hoping the pouch is easy on me and cooperates fully

Ok so I did my sleep study. HORRIBLE! I felt like a monster hooked up to all that junk. And sleep? Psh.. yeah right! I feel like I didn't sleep at all. But apparently I slept enough for her to tell me I more than likely DO NOT have apnea woot! Thank goodness for that.. the idea of having to wear that mask thing scurred me. So one step closer to the big date. Hopefully I will have a date scheduled by the end of the week!

Got my sleep study scheduled on Jan 27th.. I should have my surgery date scheduled by the end of this week. I am getting so freakin excited!! Got a pill organizer, my toddler bowls, blender bottle, and food journal all ordered from Amazon. Time to start prepping the kitchen for bariatric invasion!

So it  has been determined that I need a full fledged sleep study. Really? Because I do not sleep like a normal person. I really don't. I play WoW until probably midnightish. Then I go to bed, and proceed to read for at least an hour to help my brain turn off. I also sleep on my stomach, and wiggle, a lot. My hubby probably hates it but w/e I need to sleep too. I am crazily obsessed with our bed. I LOVE that bed. Love love love. We sleep with a fan. Now taking all that into consideration.. how the heck am I supposed to sleep in a freakin hospital? Ummmmm. So not looking forward to this.

Oh well, I guess it's just one night. One measly night on my way to being the me I want to be.

Or not so patiently lol.. I'm so excited to get my date and get started but my sleep apnea testing peeps are dragging their feet! URG! I guess I need to find the positive in this situation, because I do believe there is something positive to be taken out of every situation. Like it gives me more time to pick up my littlest before I have a couple weeks without, and I don't have to give up swimming for the couple weeks yet either.