perri07
I am a single mother of four children ages 16, 13, 13 and 9, I have been overweight all of my childhood and most of my adult life with brief intervals of significant weightloss. Only to gain it all back and then some. I tend to self sabotage relationships, because I feel more comfortable by myself, see that way I don't have to hear lies about how I look. Basically I dont take praises or compliments well, because i do not see what ever it is they see. I am in a relationship if u can call it that, it is long distance one of those internet caht site things, it has been a year and a half and a lot has went on for us to never have personally seen eachother. We have exchanged many pics of eachother so she knows what I look like and she is still interested (go figure that one). Part of me want to see her, but at the same time, I dio not want to disappoint her or be disappointed. So howit is for now is cool with me, gives me time to get myself together, so I do not sabotage another realtionship.
My journey to lose weight finally brought me to the realization that i need divine intervention, because I cant do this on my own. Well that was about 4 years ago, start out weight then was a lil under 300 now i am at 348 a size 24 and it is driving me insane. I swear If i go up one more damn pants size i am going to lose my mind. I am at the end of my rope, I have high blood pressure, back pain so bad feels liek someone is stabbing me in the back literally, my legs and feet hurt when i walk too much, I am even getting tired of eating the whole process is wearing me out. I am irritated all the time, get depressed al the time, I rarely find anything to be happy about unless it involves my children they are what keep me going if not fot them who knoew where i would be. So this is it for me If my insurance denies the surgery then i am screwed, so im trying to be positive and give a hundred and 10 percent to doing all the things required to get ready for the surgery if there is one.
