Reflections as the new year approaches

Dec 31, 2010

Since today is the last day of 2010, it seems appropriate to look back on where I was, how far I've come, and what I'd like to accomplish in 2011. 

This past summer, when I finally decided I needed to have WLS, I weighed 231 lbs, my highest ever.   I was feeling miserable health-wise and mentally about myself.   I couldn't walk a flight of stairs without having to take a break.  While many of my co-workers would walk to various restaurants for lunch, I seldom joined them.  Not because I didn't want to, but because I was too embarrassed that I couldn't walk that far without huffing and puffing, sweating and stopping frequently.  Even walking two blocks to the courthouse was difficult.  I'd leave extra-early because I'd always be sweating by the time I got there, and I needed some time to "cool down" before I entered the courtroom.  (It was unbelievably embarassing.)  My knees hurt constantly, and I couldn't walk down stairs unless I took them one step at a time, and even then I had to hold on to the railing.  My back hurt frequently, and doing simple tasks around the house and yard, or even grocery shopping, was a major chore!  I had developed high blood pressure and a severe case of GERD in the last 4 years.  I was "popping" out of most of my clothes, but I was simply too stubborn (or maybe it was denial) to go up yet another size in clothes.
 
Now, I will be 10 weeks post-op on Monday, and as I generally weigh myself on Fridays, I stepped on the scale this morning to pleasantly discover I've dropped another 2.5 lbs!  I've now lost a total of 46.5 pounds, 31.5 of which has been lost since my surgery.  I'm 3 pounds short of the half-way mark to my goal weight. 

When I dropped below 200 lbs a couple of weeks ago, I set a goal of getting to 180 by Valentine's Day.  Now, barring any stalls, I am set to accomplish that in 2-3 weeks!  That is so amazing to me.  It took me 3 months to lose 15 pounds pre-op, and only 10 weeks to lose twice that with the sleeve!  I am so happy with my sleeve!   I set a goal weight of 130 lbs, which is considered the high-end of normal for someone of my height.  I figured that, given I haven't been able to get that low in at least two decades, and I am 53 years old,130 lbs is a realistic goal.  Now, I'm thinking maybe I can get to 120, with the idea of maintaining my weight between 120-125.  Right now, I feel like anything is possible!

My knees and back no longer hurt.  I can now walk up and down a flight of stairs normally, and with ease.  I walk my dogs for 45 minutes to an hour, no stopping!  (Given that they're very large dogs with a lot of energy, that in iself is something I never imagined I'd be able to do.  And I think they are enjoying my new-found energy as much as I am.)  I will be totally off blood pressure meds next month, although I still take Nexium. 

Since returning to work, I am still struggling to get in 64 oz of fluids.  I am usually short 8-12 ozs., but I'm working on that.  My job does not permit me to eat any more frequently than lunch, so I am only eating 3 meals a day, but since I still drink one protein shake for breakfast, which has 42g of protein, I am not having much trouble averaging 80g of protein a day.  I'm also enjoying experimenting with new recipes that are heavy on the protein, with little or no carbs.  As a carb-addict, that's a whole new experience for me.  My husband has also lost 15 pounds, so he is pretty happy with the fact that I've changed our diets around.

There aren't too many foods I cannot tolerate, but I haven't tried any beef yet.  (My surgeon suggested I wait until I'm 3 months out before doing so.)  I have discovered that too many different spices at once, or too spicey (which I used to love) still don't sit well, so I'm adjusting my palate.  I also still can't stand plain water, but crystal light and SF Hawaiian punch are making it tolerable.  I carry the to-go packets with me everywhere!  I have begun losing some hair, but I expected and prepared for it, so it's not so devasting.  No one else has seemed to notice except me every time I look at my hair brush, but I also know it is temporary.  Given all the other benefits I've already experienced, it is a small price to pay.

Today I'm doing my first shopping trip in I don't know how long.  I bought new underwear yesterday - went from size 10 to 8.  I definitely need to get a couple of bras, but I'm not sure what size yet.  When I started all this, I was size 44DDD, so it'll be interesting to see what size I am now.  I 'm thinking it'll be around 42 or maybe 40C.  (One thing my husband was worried about it is that when I lose the weight, I'd lose too much off my breasts.  I assured him that it won't be too bad.  At my healthiest weight ever, in high school, when I weighed 110, I was still a 36C, so I don't expect to ever be small-breasted.)

The size 18 jeans I haven't been able to wear since my honemoon in 2004 are now too big.  Most of my jeans/pants were size 20, with a couple of 22s and even the one 18s.  I am hoping to be in size 16, but I may still need to get a size 18, depending on the style.  I should be able to get them in "short" length, so no more hemming!  YEA!!!  All my 2XLs shirts and dresses are definitely too big, so I need to get some smaller sizes.  I have a ton of XL T-shirts, but no dress shirts.  I also am no longer able to wear ANY of my business suits, but thankfully, I don't have any court dates set for the foreseeable future, so I can hold off on buying any new suits for a while.  It's a great time to go clothes shopping though, I guess, because it seems everyone has clearance sales!

So, looking ahead to 2011, I of course want to reach my goal weight, hopefully before my surgerversary.  Maybe I finally won't be so shy about having my picture taken.  When I started on this journey, and decided I should have some "before" pictures, I had to have my husand take some.  I'd discovered I had nothing remotely recent, because I hadn't allowed my picture to be taken in several years! 

I also need to get into a better exercise routine.  I'm still hit or miss on that.  I guess I need to set some kind of fitness goal, so that an exercise routine becomes a means to accomplish that goal.  Just saying I will exercise clearly doesn't motivate me enough.

I definitely am excited about what 2011 may bring for my weight and health.  I can't remember when the last time was that I was looking forward to what the new year may bring in that regard.   

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