Extra Skin

Oct 07, 2016

I don't think it will bother me. but then i dont know. i mean i have some very specific areas of excess weight. i am not an all  over fat kinda gal. i have a large tummy, large double chin, and a bitof a broad back. but i have relitivly small hips, and practically skinny arms and legs (for my weight at least ) 

so in that respect i am rather concerned about having a hanging chin. that worries me. ok so I am a bit vain in that respect. I mean its not stopping me from having the surgery or anything but it may cause me to go to a plastic surgon. my partner is convinced i have the elastic skin of a twenty year old. not the potentially saggy skin of a fourty year old. she is the bloom of optimism i swear. she is so positive about this surgery i think i will bust if she is any more excited. 

but yes I do assume at the minimal i will have belly sag. i am not sure if it will be bad enough to need p.s. but i am betting it is. i have a huge belly. and i will have no doubt saggy boobs. which doesnt bug me as much as the chin. i can wear a bra. heck i can rollem up and stuff em if necissary. but the chin is just so there. and i have already noticed that my face now has frown lines from fat deposits. it is an effort to make myself smile. i mean i smile and am happy but it doenst look like it. that is disappointing i am a generally happy person. even wtih the Bi polar. i am still very happy generaly. i am stable at the moment (have been mostly stable for the last 10 years ) so there are no reasons for me to have dour lines it makes me grumpy about my face becuase i was very pretty when i was young. it annoys me that i may have eaten my way away from pretty and made permanent changes to my face that even this surgery may only deepen. I am worried about this in a quiet way i havent told anyone about (except my exceptionally "dont worry about it its nothing you are always beautiful, i dont care" girlfriend.) 

sigh. 

I am not 

end of the world

moaning and knashing of teeth. just kinda 

i dont know. sad. that it has come to this. 

i dont expect to look pretty after this surgery but at least my health will be better. that is the whole point of this debacle anyway to get healthy. 

i cant look any worse than i do now anyway. 

Sigh

Sorry this got really maudlin. i did not intend that. i just got carried away. 

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