time and experience

Feb 22, 2018

So i am almost at six months. and i feel great. i havent lost as fast as some but i am definatly still going in the right direction. i am getting all my protien now. although it still takes a glass of milk to get it all in. and i know that i should be trying to get it all with food. 

experince is teaching me that it is ok to stop when i am full. it is okay to eat less, and it is absolutely ok to throw out what i cant eat. that is hard for me. my family was fairly wanting when i was younger, and it was somethign we never did. we ate all we could at meal time and we had leftovers until the pot was empty. so i am used to piling my plate and shoving leftovers in teh fridge for the next day. but there are SO MANY leftoverd. i just cant eat as much. so if i make a meal it often has to go in the freezer. but the throwing out, i was getting to that i just got off on a tangent. i find that if i put too much on my lplate i want to go back to it later that night and finish it. not a good plan. so i am taking less and throwing out what i have left over. i try to take less and the remainder in the pot still goes in the leftover containers. but even they are smaller. i just had a super hard time taking smaller portions. but i am getting better. 

wine. k i knwo alcohol is evil and empty calories. so i am not looking forward to the temptations of the great and mighty grape. i am strict wtih the nothing before 6 months but it will be hard after march 5th. i just know i have to ration myself and not go crazy. 

what else?

well i fit into a size 20 skinny jeans today. which is a big deal for me. i know a lot of people are a lot smaller at 6 months. but i am proportioned diffrerently than most. i dont have big arms or legs. so there is not a lot of weight there in fact i have mostly skinny arms and legs, all of my original 311 lbs was belly back and neck. oh and chin. what a double chin i had. *had being the operative word, the chin is improving

but my belly is quite extreme. and i could not even fit in a 24 pants when i started this journey. but it is slow going. my bra is just one size down. i am in extra large clothes in most ways. (underwear, shirts, etc.) but pants i still have tgo contend with the belly of doom. it is definatly softer. everythign is softer. i am all squishy. so i have started lifting weights to get the squish down to a firmness. i am getting back my ankle weights from my mum. so i can strengthen as well as tone

i can go up stairs now. properly, well once a day when its not raining. 

its my arthritis it is better. i was so crippled up before my surgery. i have painful arthritis from many surgeries as a child. my knees are both goign to need replacing soon. the first is due in april. on the left knee. 

i am psyched

i feel positive. i feel good. like i am getting back the life i have been devoid of for so long. 

i havent lost as much true, but i have gained so much more

i feel free

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