Renee K.

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Ok, so I'm feeling much better this month. The panic attacks have been few and far between this month, so I guess the new meds are working. I can tell that I let stressful situations go easier than before, too. I've been really really busy with work this week, so it has been a test for my stamina and mental health. My assistant has been gone for 5 days due to different members of her family catching the flu, and I didnt realize how much she does for me!! Whew, am I glad I have her now!! I am still losing, which at this point, I dont know if that's good or not. By no means am I underweight, but my husband told me this week that I need to be "through" with losing!! WHAT?!! Me be through?! Like I'm trying to lose anyway, right? He has been very supportive through this whole journey, and has never expressed concern or his opinions, only support. So for him to say something now, maybe I should think it through. I just dont know what to do. I'm scared to death of gaining the weight back, so I feel as long as I'm losing, I'm not gaining, so all's well in loser land! I have gone through all my consults with plastics and the internal doc to get a lower body lift and hernia repair. It's gonna cost 9,000.00, though. My wonderful grandma is willing to help with the surgery, but do I really want another bill to worry about? I'm torn right now, so we'll see the closer to April I get. I'm so grateful for all my new friends on OH! Thanks for the frank talk, support, and opinions! It helps to know there's others in the same boat as you.

Well, for some reason I get more satisfaction from reading everyone else's blogs and stories, than writing my own. I wish I did this more often. I'm 1 year 1/2 months post op and feel great. I'm down to 137lbs, which equals to 120 lbs lost!! Wew!! That's alot when you think about it. I feel good physically, but now I'm starting to have panic attacks!! I've never ever had any psycological problems with my weight!! I think now that I'm not big, I'm feeling more "exposed". I feel like I've lost my security blanket, my F-A-T!! I'm on some meds right now to relieve the episodes, so we'll see how that works. I dont want to feel helpless anymore.