Sara981

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Surgery was 4 days ago. I spent two nights in the hospital. I can't believe it's finally happened! Something strange - when I got home on Wednesday (1/16) I weighed 10 lbs more than when I started. But weighed myself today and I'm down to 330.2 (3 lbs lost). Not sure what's going on but I'm definitely in ketosis. I have this awful taste in my mouth and keep smelling raw meat. I bought a bunch of books to read on my kindle but my kindle broke. I also purchased a great cookbook: Recipes for Life After Weight-Loss Surgery. I'm LOVING this cookbook and look forward to when I can eat solids again. I don't think I've ever been so hopeful. I'm so afraid of blowing it - eating crap as soon as I can. I need to stick to something for once and this is by far the best tool. I also need to go to the support groups. So excited for my new life! 

I've bought all the shake powder and vitamins I need between Unjury and GNC.com. Using GNC's Gold Card ($15 per year) I've saved SO much money already and really think their shakes taste best. Lean Protein shakes have 25 g of protein and taste great. So I highly recommend getting the Gold Card and just having everything delivered from GNC.

My doctor wanted me to get my weight/BMI down before surgery but it didn't happen. I hope he'll still go through with it. He doesn't like "high-risk" cases, I guess because it screws up his percentages. 
I'm scared about the pain following the drastic RNY. Have had lap-band and lap-band removal, but this is gonna be much worse. My friend Lisa had her surgery 3 months ago and is down 60 lbs. I keep looking to her for inspiration - It's so amazing to think that could be me! Back up to 334.5 today. I was at 340 after Christmas. Trying to lose weight through Thanksgiving and Christmas was an epic fail.

January 14, 2013 at 7:30am. 

George Washington University Hospital

Dr. Frederick Brody

I can't believe it's really going to happen!

Just got the call from my hospital's insurance coordinator today that my surgery (RNY) was approved by my insurance company (United Healthcare). I find out Monday (3 long days) what the date of the surgery will be.

So I'm up to a BMI of 50 and up to 333. My surgeon says he "wants me down at 300" before surgery, which seems a bit unlikely. In all fairness, the nutritionist (works at same hospital) told me this 8 weeks ago, when I was 339. I vowed that I'd go on a pre-op diet to try to get the weight down. I lost 10 and then fell off the wagon. So tired of this cycle of self-loathing, as Stuart Smalley calls it. I just keep thinking about how weak I am, and that I have no resolve or willpower. It's bad enough that I have to get RNY, but that's after I failed with the lap-band AND I can't even lose 30 lbs? It's so embarrassing, as I feel like I have control over so many other aspects of my life, but I have never been able to control my appetite, my level of exercise, or my weight.

I was talking to my husband last night about it all and started crying. I knew my surgeon had submitted to my insurance company and so I've been waiting for the answer. But I just cried about the fact that I've put my family through a lot regarding the ups/downs for approval for lap band, the removal of my lap band and now the approval process for the RNY. And we're all definitely nervous about how drastic RNY seems. I'd much rather the gastric sleeve but my surgeon says he won't do it on previous lap band patients because of a small risk of complications.

It sounds awful but I just feel so ashamed about the whole thing. Meanwhile, this amazing woman at work, Lisa, just got the sleeve and has lost 50 lbs in 8 weeks and blogged all about her feelings, the process, the surgery and the post-op.

I can't believe, after so long, that it's really going to happen. But I'm scared to death (literally) that I will somehow blow this, too. I'm back up to size 28. Luckily I found a bunch of fat clothes in storage but I still had to buy quite a bit because I gave away so much after the lap band surgery. Ugh so pathetic.

As I've said in previous posts, I never felt restriction in terms of portion size with my lap band. I only felt like it was a goalie - kept certain things from getting past to my stomach. Well, it was filled completely last fall and I gained 30 lbs back. I'm back over 300 lbs and it's been quite...depressing. I've had to buy bigger clothes again as I'd proudly cleaned my closet of everything above a size 22. I'm at a 24 now. But there is good news, I think. I'm having my lap band removed on March 16 - 2 weeks! I'm excited and nervous. The band liquid was completely removed 3 weeks ago to prepare for the surgery and I'm able to eat whatever I want.
So I joined Weight Watchers. I have not been all that committed to exercise (as usual) and am almost always going over my daily point allowance but I've been able to stay around 300 lbs and not gain any more. If I could get back down to 283 and maintain it until I finally get RNY in the Fall, I'll be so happy.
I've seen friends have such success with either RNY or Gastric Sleeve, but they've been so great about exercising, too.
I'm so happy for them but it's difficult at times as I had my lap band surgery back in early 2008 and it's clear I made the wrong choice as I'm still fat.
I had to ask for a seatbelt extender again on a flight this weekend, and the woman I was sitting next to looked at me like I was covered in Herpes and moved her seat. Aaarg.

I'm so lucky to have Melissa Flood, RN at George Washington Hospital, though. She's helped me through all of this gave me the information I needed to make the decisions I've made.

Everyone where I work has been so supportive. I work in a building of approx. 500 people, so it is usually a few months between sitings of many of them.  When many women at work see me, they'll come right up to me and say, "You're coming down nicely." What a nice thing to do and say. It's so great when people notice that I've lost weight and say something, because many of the men in my life haven't said anything. My father usually does, which is very nice, but my husband hasn't said much. As I lose weight, he gains. Much of his weight is carried around his middle, which really concerns me as it has heart implications. But I can't make him do anything he isnt ready to do yet.

I actually had someone say to me that she wishes she could trade bodies with me. I've never, ever heard anything like that in my whole life and I kind of just stared back at her. It's tough- there are a few substantially overweight people at my work but I don't feel comfortable telling them that I've had WLS and asking them if they've considered it. They are always dieting but I think they'd be so succesful with WLS.

My 5 yr old son has commented several times on my "floppy arms," They continue to measure 17" around but just seem to be slowly depleting and not shrinking at all. Just hanging there and waving in the breeze.
I saw a plastic surgeon about it and he said that he could remove the skin on the arm and also do a breast lift in the same procedure, but that my BMI has to be below 35 for this.  That puts me at about 200 lbs.  Seems like it will be a long time but I'm hopeful that as I continue to lose weight that I may get more energy and motivation to exercise, which I still never do.

So I'm down to 263 lbs YAY. My band has been overfilled for months now and it's slowly working. I don't each much - usually Odwalla/Naked drinks and whatever vitamins go down, some soups and alot of water.  Anything bigger immediately gets stuck in my throat and has to come back up. This is the way it has to be for me as I basically refuse to exercise. I bought an elliptical in 2008 and it just sits in the living room. The latest thing I'm hoping to jump start my exercising is the Xbox Kinect. I just bought 3 exercise "games"- A fighting/boxing game, Dance Central, and a fitness/weight loss game. I'm excited for them except in order to use them I have to monopolize the main television in the house, which is in the living room. I really want to exercise more in 2011. This weight loss thing would've gone so much faster if I had been all along.
It's difficult to find a pair of jeans that fit me right but that's a great problem to have. I had a consultation at a great plastic surgeon and he said that I needed to get my BMI down to 30-35 in order for him to consider doing surgery. I'm definitely going to get the extra skin in my arms removed. He also suggested a breast lift in the same operation, as I guess it's easier to do it all at once and the cuts are all connected. My goal weight to get to that BMI range is 200 lbs.  I can't believe I only have another 65 to go!
I will also likely need to get a tummy tuck to remove all the hanging skin in my FUPA area. It's already there but I still have alot of fat to lose in my midsection.  The surgeon says it's best to lose as much fat as I can so he isn't doing liposuction AND skin removal, which can be two separate surgeries. It looks so painful - I can't imagine going through surgery twice on the same area.

So I'd had no weight loss since my band over-fill as they removed a bunch of saline and then replaced it but not completely. I'm finally back on track and have lost 7 lbs since my last fill 8 days ago. The thing is...I can barely hold anything down again. At least water goes through, as well as smoothies and Odwalla juice, but it's difficult.
I went with my friend Elisa to her bariatric surgery info session and learned so much more about the gastric sleeve procedure and so now it's even more attractive than before. 
If I'd only known about it when I had my lap band...but my insurance just started covering the sleeve 2 months ago and I don't want to mess with anything as I'm technically losing weight, but slowly.  It just sounds like it would've been so much easier with the sleeve.
But I can't really complain - I'm down nearly 120 lbs with very little exercise, which is exactly how I wanted to do it as I hate to exercise. 

Going out to dinner or group lunches (which I have to do regularly for my job) is always a challenge as I eat barely anything and usually have to go to the restroom to get rid of whatever I tried to eat that's stuck in my throat above the lap band.  But I love trying on clothes that look small to me or that I never thought would fit and they actually fit. What a wonderful feeling - one I've never had before because my entire life my weight has only gone in one direction...up.
 

Just got a fill 36 hours ago and I've been unable to swallow even water. I'm calling the hospital now to see if someone can see me to get some of the saline out of the band so I'll at least be able to drink liquids.
Down to 289 lbs and feel good in general, but not so hot now as I'm weak and feel kind of down, as I'm unable to swallow any vitamins or my anx/dep meds. People all over my office building are stopping me to say that they've noticed I've lost alot of weight and look good. That makes me feel nice and helps me gain a little confidence every time.  Still not doing much to exercise except I got Sketchers Shapeups for my birthday and wear them all the time.  Hoping the Spring will make it easier to get outside, since i bought rollerblades this winter and set a goal of trying out for the DC roller derby team within 18 months.

Update- went to GW Hospital, where I originally had surgery. Surgeon on--call called Dr. Brody, who confirmed that the surgeon could remove 3 ccs of saline from my port. They did, and I felt immediate relief. They gave me a bag of saline/electrolytes and I felt much better. I was able to drink 3 cups of icewater right away PHEW! Brody said that it wouldn't take too long to get me back to where I was before in terms of band-fill, but it's kind of nice to eat like a regular person. Guess it's a test to see if I can eat healthy etc. I'm going on a cruise in 4 weeks, and it sure would be nice to relax and enjoy it in terms of eating and drinking. Guess I have a decision to make! My skin near the access port is pretty sore, so I may wait a week to go back in.

Update- got a fill back to 7.5 CCs a week later and started am down 4 lbs to 285 after 7 days. I had a week to eat whatever I wanted and it was wonderful - at pizza from Pizzeria Unos etc...but I felt nervous the whole time worrying about the pounds I was putting back on.  Luckily (I have no idea how) - I lost .5 lbs that week, but I'm happy to be back on track.

It's been a long, slow process with the lap-band. If my insurance would approve, I'd switch to gastric sleeve, but they won't.
So I decided to just maximize the lap-band by getting the biggest fills I can and keeping them for as long as possible before the next one. This plan is working. The band is nearly as full as it can get and I've been on a liquid diet for the past 10 days. I've lost 12 lbs and am below 300 pounds for the first time in about 6 years. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels. A huge relief, because I'd given up on the lap-band.
I know it will go alot faster if I'd just exercise, but for now I'm ok. None of my friends or family knows how much I weighed at my high-point or even how much I weigh now (298.6), because I'm still so ashamed, but I can't wait to tell them once I meet my goal of 220 that I've lost 160 lbs!!
I'm happy that they don't know, because it's like my little secret. I get to walk around knowing that I've lost 82 lbs - a colossal feat for me - and I feel lighter in so many ways.
One more thing - I'm wearing size 24 jeans now - down from a 32!!! That in itself feels soooo good.