shae32
January 18, 2007
Hello everyone! I've decided to reverse my postings. I'm going to go with the newer posts on top, and leave the prior postings in their current order but last in this list.
So, how am I doing? Well, it's been an experience! For one thing, I'm doing great! I feel terrific. Each day is better...with the exception of this past Monday...let's just say that I've learned my lesson and will definitely pay more attention to what is on my do not eat for now list. Just so you won't think I went to far off track...it was just cream of broccoli soup. However, broccoli was on my do not eat list. I've figured out why. The amount of gas that I had from about 5 tiny spoonfulls of broccoli was ridiculous. I hope to never make that kind of mistake again. :-)
Yesterday, I went for my post-op check up and I've lost 10 lbs. Excited about that.
Today, I went to the post-surgery healthy livings class. It was very informative and helped to reinforce what I had already learned from this site, my surgeon and others.
Well, I guess this is enough for now.
Until...
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OLD POSTS STARTING WITH FIRST ENTRY UP TO RIGHT AFTER SURGERY!!!!
August 24, 2006
Hello everyone. I'm 33 yrs old, 5'6" with a bmi of 55. Other then PCOS, as of this time I don't have any co-morbidities. In fact, I've always considered myself pretty much okay. I've never been "thin" or "skinny", so I've never had anything to miss.
My blood pressure tends to run on the low end, and I've never had any diabetic issues. Even my cholesterol is low. Unfortunately, that includes the good as well as the bad. *shrugs*
MY FAMILY
I do come from a fairly small (in size) family, though. As far as I can see, I'm the largest out of everyone. That's including the males and females of all ages and heights from my mother and father's side, and I'm including second and third and fourth cousins in this. Average female in my family...5'3" 125lbs (and I'm not talking just those my age, here), Average male 6'0" 230lbs. ...and then there's me. From birth at 10lbs 2oz, I was out distancing all of them. If I weren't, feature wise, a carbon copy of them, I'd wonder if I were adopted. I hold the record in my family. Lovely record to hold, hunh?
Not exactly something to be proud of, or good for the self-esteem at that. My family's been good to me, though. If they're talking, they've been good at keeping it amongst themselves. With the exception, of course, of my parents.
GROWING UP WITH MY PARENTS
Every now and then, I'll get one of the older family members who will start suggesting ways that I could "improve my health", but my parents have had me on one diet or the other since....well...birth would be my guess. I don't blame them. When comparing birth weights, if "my" other two daughters were half the size of the middle one...I'd probably have put "me" on a diet as well.
Nevertheless, *smile* what has brought me here today, is none of the above.
RESEARCH:
I began researching wls in February of 2005. After a young woman on another website I'm a member of pointed several of us this way. I was on a health kick then. I had been under the care of an herbalist, had joined Curves and had managed to lose about 40 lbs, but I couldn't break past the 300 lbs marker and more importantly, that was in 2004. By Feb of 2005, I had gained just about all of it back, and have been losing 5 gaining 5 since then.
So, I was initially excited. This was what I was going to do. I was going to change my life, and I couldn't wait to get into those smaller sizes. Who knows, maybe I'd actually enjoy shopping for a change. Possibly find me the "one", settle down and have some kids.
For about two months, I researched and studied and made plans for having the RNY procedure done. Even spoke with my family...well my mother (a nurse), who immediately called her niece (a doctor). Of course, my Dr. Cousin wasn't too enthusiastic about the RNY...although she thought wls for me was a great idea. She'd rather I went the lap band route.
I immediately went into the "but they don't lose the weight fast enough" fit. And then, before we could work out our differences of opinion...it happened.
THE DISTRACTION:
Yeap, I allowed a man to side track me. The single women's bane. He did an excellent job of it, too....for a good year plus. Are he and I together...a couple? No. Were we ever together? No. Were we even romantically involved? Nope. But then, how could he have been a distraction? Just trust me on this. He was, and still is, and was very good at it. But, I've learned to put it into perspective. We've got a platonic friendship that "I" would like to be more...and in my rational (yeah, I know you don't believe me) mind I know that he does, too. Who knows, maybe one day it will be. He needs time to heal and rebuild his confidence from some personal emotional and financial injuries, first. But, until that day, I've got my own personal issues I need to deal with and I need to get back to focusing on me.
Now...before you start patting me on the back for coming back to my senses, and realizing what should be important to me at this point in my life. I didn't do this on my own.
My knees brought me back.
And, trust me. I'm not strutting through the door in my usual manor...I'm limping. Call it age...call it weight...call it arthritis...you can call it what you will...as long as you call it off!
THE PLAN
So, I'm determined this time around. I've spent the past two months or so, again, researching. This time I'm moving forward. So far, I've kept it all to myself. I'll let the gang in on my decision when I'm good and ready, and probably headed to the surgical table. *wink* They won't mind. This time I've been more objective about this life-changing event, and I've thoroughly researched it from all angles. I've decided, on my own, to go the way of the lap band. It's what I'm more comfortable with, and if anything should happen in the extreme...it's reversible.
As of today, I've contacted two offices. One is closer to my job, which is around an hours drive from my home...the other is within 10 to 15 minutes of my home.
So, you are welcome to come along with me on my journey...if you will. Either way, I'm determined to walk this path, regain my health and, hopefully, pain free strut.
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August 25, 2006
Potatoes are my mortal enemy.
Chocolate, candy, sweets in general, I can take or leave, but potatoes are another story. Doesn't matter if their fried, boiled or baked. I can't pass them up. Its a fight just waiting to happen.
Well, I heard back from one of the centers. They checked on my insurance, and found out that I was covered, which I knew. Now, I have to make an appointment for a consultation. I'll let you know how it goes.
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Sept 4, 2006
Some rambling thoughts....
It's been a little over a week, but I was out of town on vacation. I love to travel, and do so several times a year. This was one of those lovely trips where I was able to visit some cousins that I love.
Here's my problem. The cousin that I am the closest to, also happens to be the one that is the same age as me, and completely on the opposite end of the spectrum. Meaning, she's several inches shorter, and maybe 100lbs soaking wet. But I love her to death, and I know she loves me, too.
Well, she crossed the great divide and married in July ;-). Here we are in our early 30's. She was the one who was totally against getting married, had even been living with her now husband for several years, and while he wanted to marry years ago...she refused. I'm not jealous, I'm very happy for her...but it sure cast an interesting light on my current existence and future. I was the one who wanted the husband and children...not her.
Don't get me wrong, I date...plenty. Even at the size that I am. However, she was my last hold out. LOL....now I'm wondering what the rest of my life will be like. Will I be the only one without a spouse or child? Now, there's only one more to go besides me. I have 10 years on her, and she's still in college - but starting to come out of the "partying" phase. I guess, I'm just feeling a little down about it.
But that's just the background...my problem? Well, my cousin didn't want a fancy wedding or a reception. In fact, she announced she was getting married, then had an extremely small ceremony before the same week was out. Just her, her spouse and their witnesses. So her sisters (she has two, almost as tiny as her...they may weigh 105lbs soaking wet....LOL) did a barbeque instead. Not only was I (over 300lbs) the largest person there, but if you exclude all of the women over 50 who were present, and there were only 2 that needed to be excluded, my mother being one and believe me when I say that I even had them by 100lbs or more... All, and I do mean ALL, of the females were extremely tiny. And, I'm not talking height, here. I don't think there was a female there, minus the two I excluded, and my younger sister who wears a 12 at 5'9" (and it's all in her hips and chest), who was in double digit clothing - AND - the house was PACKED. Standing room only. I have NEVER seen that many women in one room, where they all could have possible worn each others clothing. Where's the size variety in Georgia??? I completely felt out of place....like an anomoly. Man, I haven't felt like that, since...well...since the last party my cousins held that I attended.
This raises issues for me. Am I going through this process just to fit in? What will my cousins think the next time they see me, because I do intend to be on the losing end by then? They love me for who I am, and are always "showing off" their "little" cousin (yes, I'm the younger one, although I look like a "giant" in comparison - even if I did lose all the weight, they're just so petite, I still would be bigger). Actually, I think my family wouldn't know what to do if I WAS to lose all of the weight I carry. It sets me a part, makes me the individual that I am. Being that these are cousins who love "fighting against the system"...who love individualism and non-conformism...yes I'm making up my own words here. Would they lose respect for me, because I'm shooting for "normal"...its hard to put into words what I'm feeling right now. But, nevertheless, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it...sometime next summer. I'm still pressing on.
Besides, at least when that time does come, (having the camera happy family that I do have) I'll have some interesting comparison pictures to post. ;-)
Oh, before I go, I scheduled an appt for a consultation with a surgeon for next week. Wish me well!
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Sept 20, 2006
Okay, I know it's been several weeks. It's been several VERY busy weeks for me - emotionally as well as physically. I'm just starting to pull myself together and remember that I was happy before him, and I can be happy again without him. Yeah, male problems. LOL
Anyway, as for the surgery process this is going well. Actually, I'm shocked at how quickly and smoothly things are running. I guess I should either knock on wood, or keep my mouth shut about it. We shall see.
I met with the Dr on last week. The consultation went real well. I pulled what I've noticed to be the usual, "should have written down the questions before I went, because now I have so many that need answering" thing. The office had suggested that I bring a support person with me, and I wasn't going to do it. If you remember one of the above conversations, I stated that I wasn't going to say anything to my family until maybe the actual day of surgery. :-)
Well, on the day of my consult, out of the blue, my mother showed up. She and I should have been at work, but she got off early, and of course I did too for the consultation. So I found myself having to come up with a reason why I was sitting at home during the middle of the day, filling out forms with my medical history.
I went ahead and told her, and told her I wasn't telling anyone, to keep it to herself...then dragged her along with me. Who better to have at a surgery consultation then someone in the medical field. I know God set that up.
Since that time, they had me to set up an appointment to have a Upper GI exam done. That's for this Friday. Then on Saturday I'll attend their surgery seminar. So, as you can see, things are moving along.
Oh, before I go, now that I'm actually starting to believe that I am actually going to do this. That there is a good chance that this time next year I will most DEFINITELY be at a lower weight. I started righting down some of the NSVs (Non scale victories) that I want to experience. Initially I thought the list wasn't long. But once I started writing, the more that came to me. I'm sure the list will grow with time. As for the SVs (scale victories), I'll start thinking about those either the day the surgery is scheduled...or the day it happens. ;-)
NSVs:
1. Climbing staris without limping (obviously) - actually, my knee is already feeling better.
2. No more knee pain - see above
3. Current clothing loosening up, fitting better (I refuse to buy a larger size at this junction).
4. Smaller clothing (20 - 24).
5. XL clothing (that will be the day)
6. L clothing (In my wildest dreams)
7. M clothing (Now, I'm just out right being silly. I don't think I ever wore anything with an M in it)
8. No airplane seat belt extender
9. No car seat belt extender (Those 2005 Jeeps have TINY seatbelts, the only car, so far I've had a problem with - of course I own a Jeep)
10. More energy
11. Short haircut that fits my face/size. (Personal preference...I think longer hair looks better on "rounder" figures)
12. Smaller bra size (may need surgery to accomplish this one...even at a smaller size I was "overflowing")
13. Being able to stretch like I use too (without the belly getting in the way).
14. Riding a bicycle (part weight issue, part broken leg last time I was on one issue...)
15. Less sweating
16. No/less snoring
17. Hormones balancing out
18. Wear heals for a long period without feet hurting.
19. Climb more then two flights of stairs without wanting to look for an elevator
20. Dance without tiring
21. Stand for longer then an hour without wanting to sit down or lean on something.
22. Reach all body parts without crazy contortions.
23. Be able to borrow mother's clothing (size 16-18).
24. Be able to borrow sister's clothing (size 12-14)
25. Be smaller then brothers, rather then just shorter... (rolling eyes)
26. Sit in an average chair without touching both sides at the same time.
27. Sit in movie theater/any theatre comfortabley without falling over into the next person's chair.
28. Just plain sit in MY seat without overflowing.
29. Squat with ease.
30. Cross legs
31. Touch my toes
32. Shop for clothing at a "regular" store and actually find something that fits right and is age appropriate...
33. Fit comfortably in the tub. You know the regular old fashioned kind.
34. Be too small for plus size clothing stores.
35. Fit on all amusement rides without extenders or squishing.
36. Gain the confidence to walk into a room and NOT look around to see if there is anyone else present as big or bigger then me.
As always, I'll keep you updated on my progress.
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October 6, 2006
And, again, it's been a couple of weeks. Oh, and I should have kept my mouth shut. LOL.
I had the Upper GI done, it wasn't as bad as I had been expecting. Although, my test contained the "crystals". I think this may be a fairly new part of the procedure. And let me tell you, with all of the twist and turns, and the moving machine, I felt like I was trying to go to sleep on a hard service and couldn't find a comfortable position. Also, those crystals...the gas they produce that you have to hold in. I was burping for HOURS later. I also became very nauseous. They gave me some stool softners. Believe me when I say I didn't need them. Just wished I'd known that BEFORE I took the first one. :-) Oh, and trust me, it was the ONLY one of the 4 pills I took.
I also attended the surgery seminar. I hadn't realized how informed I was prior to it. Although I've been attempting to read up on everything that I could beforehand. This website has prepared me better then I thought it had. For the negatives, as well as the positives. I really didn't hear much that I hadn't already known. Once again, though, I thought of additional questions AFTER I left. Apparently, regardless of your surgery type, my surgeons office wants us all on a week of liquids prior to the surgery, and SIX (6) weeks of liquids after. Now, when I heard this, I thought starvation...LOL. Then, I realized that there are many forms of "liquid" and I didn't have him clarify what he meant. Believe me when I say I will be finding out.
So, what made me wish I'd kept my mouth shut? Oh...where do I begin. I have one delay causing issue, and one that tried to give me a minor panic attack.
1st - UHC is now requiring that you have a 5 year history of weight problems. All that you have to produce is a physician signed record of your weight from 5 years ago. My weight then had to be at least, I'm guessing 100lbs over what my "normal" weight should be (or maybe it's at least 100lbs less then what I currently am today...LOL...since I need to lose 200lbs to get to the "normal" weight for my height. "Lucky" for me...apparently I've gained, on average, ONLY 10lbs a year. Meaning, I weighed 50lbs less then I currently way, five years ago. This truly amazes me. I never thought I would cross over into the three hundreds like I have. Then to weigh what I currently weigh. How did I get here? What was I doing? What dream world was I living in???? Sorry, I digress...
Obtaining the records was no problem, or so I thought. Lucky me, who spent most of my 20's avoiding hospitals once I came off of my mom's medical insurance, had JUST started going back 5 years ago. *cheering* Anyway, the simple process turned into a looooooong process, when the Dr's office told me that it would take up to 3 weeks to get those records from storage. That was 2 weeks ago, and I'm still waiting. :-( I'll just pass through there on my way to nowhere ;-) today, and gently remind them that time is winding up.
2nd - Why is time winding up? Because if I'm going to have to have the surgery, it has to be this year. My insurance is making some drastic changes next year, and I'm not sure what the policy will still cover. Also, apparently it turns out that the Dr I chose, is out-of-network for my insurance. Yes, I know, I should have checked that first. I'm still kicking myself in the hinder parts for this one. The hospital and all of the services are in network, and he solely works out of this hospital...I just assumed he was in network, too. And yes, I do know the more creative philosophy of the word "assume".
Here's where my panic attack came in.... I received a call from my surgeon's office stating that out-of-network benefits were NOT covered under my insurance. WHAT???!!!????!!!??? I live in an area where the vast majority of practices and hospitals are out-of-network for me. You have got to be kidding me. I KNOW I have OUT-OF-NETWORK benefits!!! Breath in...breath out...whew...I was right.
Still, I didn't get the panic inducing message until late Friday night, and we didn't work out the problems until mid-Monday afternoon. Of course, in the process, I set up an appointment with a surgeon who IS in my network, and the hospital he attends at IS in my network. I just prefer my current one for many reasons. One of which being that he and the hospital are with in 15-20 min drive from my house, and the others that are in network (there's two separate offices) are within an hour to an hour and a half drive from my house (which, by the way, puts them within an 5 to 20 minute drives from my job *shrug*). While I would make the drive if necessary, I'd much prefer to have immediate access to my surgeon and care services closer to home.
So, that's what's been keeping me busy since I last stopped by here. I have been keeping up with the lap band message board, and I've just discovered the BAF message board. I'll introduce myself soon on both.
Until....
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October 17, 2006
Yes, I know, it's been a couple of weeks again. Time moves when you're doing nothing but waiting. LOL. Anyway...FINALLY, after some improvised arm twisting, my old doctor's office came up with the needed medical documents for my 5 year history. Yes, there 3 weeks was nearing 4. Still I have them in my possession, as should my Surgeon's office. I faxed them over last night. ;-) Now comes the fun part, waiting for insurance approval.
I have UHC, and WLS (including LapBand) is a covered benefit. Let's just see how long it takes them to respond. Once again, the clock is ticking...I'm praying for at the maximum a two week turn around. If I'm going to be blessed with this life changing surgery, it's got to be this year.
Other then that, life is good. Just maintaining on the day to day. Trying to recapture my healthier eating lifestyle. When I got serious about having this surgery...it went to the dogs. LOL Now I'm trying to kick my butt back into gear. I'm normally not that much of sweets eater, but I've been craving it lately. I mean, real sugar in tea, etc., when normally I drink my tea unsweetened.
Yes, the past couple of months have been interesting. As a result, the past couple weeks of string pulling (my own) have been a struggle, but I'm mostly back on track. My downfall are salty/spicy snacks...hot or spicy potato chips/cornchips... I've pretty much managed to stay away from that downfall. Or I really would have been in a bind. Strangely, again, it's been the sweet stuff...cakes, cookies (and I'm not a cookie eater), ice cream (made myself sick drinking a milkshake from McD's...didn't agree with me, if you know what I mean... ;-) ), donuts, etc., stuff I normally can live with or without. Went from once every week or two, to daily interludes. I guess that's where those 5 extra shocking lbs came from the other day. Whew, talk about a new all time high! I think I prefer the lows when dealing with this subject matter.
Anyway, I've got it down to once or twice a week for the cakes and pastries, and sugar alternatives for my sweeteners. Now to knock it on down and back to once every week or two, and I'll be okay.
Well, that's it for now...just twiddling my thumbs while I wait.
Until....
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November 30, 2006
Well, it is now the end of November, and a LONG time since I've been this way. And, I'm still waiting. Yeap, you heard right.
Apparently my insurer claims that they did not receive the first submittal for approval. Yes, I should have known better. After everything that everyone else has been through, I should've called to check to MAKE SURE they received it the first time. Anyway, we refaxed everything on Nov. 6th. Now they just have us twiddling our thumbs. The good thing is that the surgery is covered under my insurance. I have provided them EVERYTHING they need to approve it this YEAR. I just think they're trying to wait until January so that I have to come up with more money out of my pocket first.
Either way, they have to give me an answer by Dec. 6th, which is next week Wednesday.
So, that's the bad news. The good news is that my Surgeon's office allowed me to set a tentative surgery date for December 14th!!! Yes! Just in under the wire. So, if all goes well on December 6th, I will be banded on December 14th. I'm in shock.
Am I ready, YES...am I prepared, NO. LOL. I'm ready for the changes that are to come, I just wish I could get there with out the surgery part. Are there any genies in the house??? No??? Oh well, I guess the surgery will just have to do... ;-)
Bring it on! I'm excited and can't wait to join the losing side.
While I'm at it, here's my line-up:
Dec. 6th - Insurer is required to respond in some fashion.
Dec. 8th - Nutrition class
Dec. 12th - Psych appt.
Dec. 14th - Surgery
If you pray, please join with me that all goes as planned. December is about to be a very busy month for me. :-)
Until...
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December 12, 2006
Well, as the saying goes....good news...bad news, which do you want first?
I've been APPROVED!!! - good news
My chosen surgeon was denied... - bad news
Yes, apparently in the fine print on someone's desk...don't ask me who...there is a clause that says that Bariatric surgery if approved must be handled by an in network provider. Remember the little discussion we had at the beginning of October...un hunh...apparently the complete statement from my insurer was not that I did not have out of network benefits. But, that I do not have out of network benefits for this particular procedure. Lovely.
Please everyone, check ALL of the requirements before you get started.
So, here I was thinking I'd have to start fresh, when I was referred to the Kane Center (which was my second choice...remember waaayyyy back in the beginning.)
I have met a group of lovely women at this center who are helping me, since I've already been approved for the surgery, to accomplish my goal before years end. Which gives us 3 weeks. Did I mention that these ladies are WONDERFUL!
While I'm at it, there are several requirements that I have to fulfill for the new surgeon, that I didn't have for the previous one....didn't I JUST mention that my December was going to be busy...well I had NO clue...and I'm not including the other appointments that I already scheduled that were not related to this process.
Dec. 14 - Ultrasound
Dec. 15 - Psych eval (Cancelled the one for today)
Dec. 16 - Training
Dec. 18 - Dr. Consultation
Dec. 20 - Pulmonary evaluation
...and I have to call to make the appt for the nutritionist...I almost forgot.
Well, off to call the nutritionist...
Until....
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December 18, 2006
I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but I'm a fairly private person. Yes, I know, I'm putting almost all of my business out on this website, how could I possibly consider myself to be private...
Well...have I told you who I am, or even shown you a picture, yet??? Exactly. Private. And, yes, there's a point to this discussion. I've been keeping my impending surgery from everyone I do not consider principle. That means, that as of this moment only you, me, my parents and the surgeon's staff know. To be honest, I haven't even met the Surgeon yet. Well, because of my hectic schedule for the past week or so..and a little snooping on their part, my coworkers have figured out I'm having surgery. For what, they don't know and I'm not obligated to tell them anything. Not even that I'm having surgery.
So, I explained that I "might" have surgery before the year is out. I did not explain what it was for...but I implied that it could have something to do with my PCOS diagnosis. Which in a way, since PCOS and weight, for the majority, seem to go hand in hand, it does. But, since the scientist, themselves, have yet to agree on the topic, I'm not going to drift off into the which came first...the chicken or the egg...debate with you.
What I do know, is that decreasing my weight will help to alleviate the stress on my system...which in turn should help with some of the symptoms I'm experiencing with PCOS. Or, at least that's what my endocrinologist has been telling me. I'll let you know my opinion once it's happened.
So, update on my appointments...
Dec. 13 - saw the nutriotionist. This was very informative. Apparently I will only have to do one day of liquids prior to the surgery, but for 7 days before that I have to drink a special nutrient boosted concoction twice a day. After the surgery, for 3 days it will be clear liquids, then for the remainder of that week and the following, full liquids. Then weeks 3 and 4 will be pureed foods, weeks 5 and 6 soft foods, then based on my tolerance full menu reintroduced one item at a time for tolerance purposes.
I can't tell you how much better that sounds to me then 6 weeks of liquids...LOL. Not that the 6 weeks of liquids didn't sound good... *cough* this just sound more, um, manageable for me. :-) Please note that I cannot say enough about the excellent service I received at Midwest Bariatric Center. Dr. Cahill and staff (Tony and Donna) are wonderful. The service I am now receiving is just as wonderful. If I was given the option to choose between the two, I would be left with making my choice based solely upon location...and not care. Unfortunately it's not up to me. So, if you are one that does have a choice...good luck in choosing...it will be hard.
Dec. 14 - Ultrasound - breeze...in and out in under 20 minutes.
Dec. 15 - Psych - conclusion is not only am I sane, but I mentally should do fairly well with the changes from this surgery.
Dec. 16 - Behavioral Support Group - Was very interesting...although it did open up more questions for me...such as...if I'm not an emotional, stress eater...then what am I? I never really thought that I was a binge eater. Apparently I may be a cross between a binge and grazer. I do more mindless eating, but only if its there. I don't go seeking it, unless I'm trully craving it, which doesn't happen often.
If it's grazing, then I'll really have to watch what I do. I DEFINITELY do not want to eat around the band. If it's more binge. Which I think it is (I won't go looking for the chips, but if you provide me with them, I'm more likely to eat the entire bag)...then I should do fine. No more eating the entire thing in one sitting for me...I hope. Mind over matter, and I've got the mind for the job.
Still left to go:
Dec. 18 - Surgeon appt
Dec. 20 - Pulmonoligist appt
???? - Surgery.
Until...
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December 26, 2006
I hope everyone had a great Christmas! We had a small get together at my place, mostly the nieces and nephews who are now aging into "young adult" hood. Way beyond the toy/receiving stage, and into the giving (out of their own pocket) stage. It was really nice.
I will admit that, while I did eat probably more then I should in one sitting, I didn't go overboard. I had one dessert for the day, and three meals (I normally only eat once.) I did have a second helping with dinner. What is important to me, is that I noticed that I DO recognize when I'm full. However, unfortunately, I eat beyond it. Now that I realize this, I don't think I'll have a problem with stopping. Before I never paid attention to the "full" signal. Now, I recognize it....and I think - no I know - I have the last supper syndrome. So, even though I now recognize it and acknowledge it, I still eat beyond it. This is where I need to start working on my psycholgical behavior.
I can stop. I know I can, but my mind keeps telling me - you are about to have surgery...when will you get this chance again...just one more time. So, I'm sitting here to say...MIND...shut up already...
But, I'm sure that's not what you came to hear. So, now for an update on my appointments.
Dec. 18 - Surgeon appt - went well, hoping the actual surgery follows the pattern.
Dec. 20 - Pulmonoligist appt - also went well. They had me take home what was called a pulse oximetry??? At least I think that's what it was called. You basically hook it to a finger, and it records your pulse rate while you sleep at night. They didn't explain why (although it may have been in the package), but I'm sure they were looking for any irregularities in my heart beat that might show some form of irregularity in my sleep pattern. Unfortunately for me, the machine kept shutting off during the middle of the night. So I slept horribly, trying to always make sure the machine was on. Okay...what was horrible for me was waking up twice, and finding that both times the machine was off. LOL...I tend to sleep through the night, until 4:00 every morning when I have to take a "potty" break. Either way, I received a card in the mail stating that my results were "ok". I'm glad to hear it. (There was one stretch from 1:30 to 4:00 am that I know the machine was on steady.) So, what does this mean??? It means I get to schedule a date!
???? - Surgery - unfortunately, the scheduler is out of the office due to the holiday, will be back tomorrow.
Because of changes to my insurance, I had hoped for a date in this month. Obviously, this is not going to happen. I'm okay with it. I just didn't want to have to pay the extra money that I will for next year. We now have deductibles (something new this year, but I had already met it...but next year it doubles, and I'll have to start fresh.) My mother told me to look at it this way...my doctor's appointments for this coming year will be more frequent then in the past. I will have to pay the deductible anyway. I know what she's saying, but now it's the deductible, the surgery and the office visits - it still will be more money.
The good news is that I'm determined to walk this path. Even when anxiety sets in, and I get scared...like right now...I'm still determined. I know that this is what's best for me. I don't think it would be normal for someone who is planning to make a major change in their life not to have doubts or periods where they were scared.
If you don't, or haven't...then you need to re-think your decision.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't have peace in your final decision. But I am saying, that if you did not, at the least, QUESTION your decision...then you may not have a full understanding of what you are about to do. It is my sincere prayer that everyone who makes the decision to have surgery finds peace with their choice. But, I also pray that the pathway to the surgery is NOT an easy stepping stone. Through my struggle (while not as bad as others) I've really been forced to look at this surgery...it's plusses and it's minuses. I've been forced to consider how it will affect my life (emotionally as well as physically). One way was through observation. I thought that I was going to be banded in November, so I buddied up with a November banding group and I've been able to watch their progress from before banding to now, a month out. It is NOT an easy process. Emotionally or physically. If you are intending to have this surgery, I suggest that you do the same. Join a monthly banding group at some website - if there are none here. Watch the progression from a month prior to surgery to a month after. I think having a varied group in one of these types of forums, with a banding period in common ...really shows an accurate picture of the possibilities that can take place.
So, I said all of that, to say this. While I'm not happy - at all - with the delay, I am extremely thankful.
Until...
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December 27, 2006
Unfortunately, I don't have time to say much more then finally.
Jan 24, 2007 - SURGERY DATE!!!
Until...
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December 28, 2006
I just want to say this has truly been an interesting year for me. This process of attempting to become banded has truly been an interesting experience for me.
With that said, I'm sure you would be interested in finding out that my date for surgery has changed again. Yes....but, this time it's for the better. :-)
Jan. 12, 2007 - Surgery Date!!!
Whew...can we get on with it already... LOL ;-)
Until...
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January 11, 2007
Once again, it's been a minute. I hope everyone is doing well. As for me...I'm bouncing off the walls. LOL I am so excited I don't know what to do with myself. To the point that I saved a few last minute items I need to pick up until tonight.
Yes, the day has finally arrived. I'm sitting here currently praying that there are no more delays. I'm scheduled for tomorrow at 9am
I was also sitting here thinking that I've done everything that I could possibly do. I've prepared myself to the best of my ability, and then I read someone's post about packing their bag for the hospital. It all of a suddenly hit me...yes, bag, that's what I was forgetting. :-)
So, in a few minutes, I'm going to drag myself away from these websites and go put the few items I need for tomorrow and Saturday in a bag. All that I can think of to take is my outfit to come home in (including sports bra), my comfy indoor/outdoor slippers and admissions instruction packet, toothbrush, haircomb. Am I missing anything? I hope not. If I discover something that I wish I had with me, I'll let you know when I check back in on Saturday.
Until....
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January 13, 2007
Well, I've made it!!! I am know an official citizen of bandland!
My father went with me to the hospital, and my surgeon told him that the surgery went GREAT. In fact, when I was in recovery, the nursing staff said I was the best they've had.
Okay, I'll come back later and update you on my experience.
Until....
