soldiersxbabygirl
It's been a long time/Update
Mar 05, 2012
My weight is a little higher right now than I'd like it to be with all my deficiencies and neurological issues, plus the sheer amount of meds I take in a day, but I'm proactive and busting my tail to get it back off or mostly back off. I am mostly determined just not to self-deprecate myself all the time about it.
I am a person who is worthy of great things, as are we all, and I'm more determinded than ever to see them through. One thing I've begun doing is putting a positive affirmation of the day by desk at work every day to motivate me. So far, it's working in keeping my spirits up.
I have 2 herniated disks in my back and I've started back up the C25K program... I must be the biggest glutton for punishment in the world, so wish me luck.
Much love, coffee, and bacon to all of you!
Renae
Still holding on~ 6 year surgiversary post
Aug 02, 2010
6 years~ It's still hard to wrap my mind around it sometimes. Feels like it was only yesterday and I was still researching the surgery (RNY was all my insurance would cover back then/ and I researched for 2-3 years before I took the plunge). It feels like yesterday that I went to my first consult and weighed over 300 lbs. It feels like yesterday that I looked up at my surgeon and told him I would be ok, then woke up with my new stomach.
My WLS journey has not been without it's ups and downs, of course. I am not fully "healed" from everything I was sick with before the surgery. Some new problems have arisen, but I fight back and I fight back hard. I will never regret my decision to have RNY and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I have been fortunate and blessed to have 2 beautiful post-op babies. I will be unable to have any others, since my hysterectomy last September, but I know I would have never had the 2 I have without my RNY. Krysten starts to school in 2 weeks now and Tyson will be 2 in October. I am certainly a proud momma!
As for weight? I'm holding steady between 135-140 lbs. I am wearing a size 4, sometimes a 6, and a sm/med shirt. I'm thrilled with the progress. Sure there's a little more "plastics" I'd like done, but I'm thrilled and content. I know that WLS isn't a contest to see who is the smallest and prettiest... it's a journey to health, and the better looks are a bonus prize. Though, I must say.... Shopping and fashion are sooooo much more fun these days! Now I LOVE to shop and it's no longer dreadful to try on clothes. In fact, I enjoy posing in the mirrors now lol.
Thank you all for being here on this journey with me~ I would have never been able to maintain without the support of all my friends in the OH community. Love to you all!
~ Renae
Holding steady...
Feb 04, 2010
This last week has been craziness. We had a major ice storm and it knocked out our power for almost a week. Sucked the finances dry, but we stayed comfortable and warm as much as possible. We got our claim for the spoiled food processed within 24 hrs and that was great (go USAA!). I want out of Oklahoma more than ever, but all in good time. We are working every avenue for it and that's all we can do. My allergies are still going crazy and I start my shots this coming week again. The kids are growing and doing great. They are the numero uno, very best reason that I had WLS. I'd never have had them without it. I am facing another surgery for my tonsils/adenoids (which should have come out like 25 years ago!) and my badly deviated septum. It will help a lot with my breathing. I still would like to possibly have a little more plastics done in the next couple of years. Most of all, I want an artificial belly button since my surgeon took mine during my TT and I don't have one. I'm pretty used to it now, but I won't lie that it still bothers me, especially since he improved on his technique a lot since mine and there's no way to go back and redo it now (not with insurance anyways). I'm just saving for the belly button, maybe some lipo on my legs, I don't know what else. I'm overall pretty happy with myself, but there's still a few things I want to look into improving. I'll go consult with a couple of PS in the late Spring/Summer months.
I'll just keep improving on things that I need to and I will always
my RNY! Over 160 lbs down from highest weight and still holding steady almost 6 years later!
Just having a "down" day...
Jan 09, 2010
I've started going back to the gym regularly since the start of the year so I know I cannot expect to start seeing results right off the bat, but I'm just frustrated that it's still so hard for me to feel good about the way I look even after all these years. Sometimes, I really think I DID have better self-esteem at 300+ lbs, but then I know that's a lie, too, because it was all a facade. Some days I wake up and feel really good about things, other's not so much...
I think my nerves have the best of me because I'm going back to see Dr. Warnock on Tuesday (hoping for a possible fix to my tummy tuck which is badly scarred) and I'm always thinking I'm going to disappoint him. Lord knows, I probably have before, but I don't want to have him see me fail in any way. ... And I know I am NOT a failure. I will never be a failure as long as I keep pushing myself, but I need to just learn to ALWAYS be happy with me, not just SOMETIMES be happy with me. I really do hope that I can follow that mantra throughout the new year.
Thoughts and perspective...
Dec 29, 2009
I've had 2 babies (both of my children) post-op. When I got pregnant the first time, I had to throw out eating like a post-op and I had to eat whatever I could to get in enough calories to nourish that baby. I had people look at me and roll their eyes. I did what I had to for my daughter and I gained almost 30 lbs for it. In turn, I DID lose that 30 lbs and then some, but I am also left with some bad eating habits. I won't lie for a moment that I don't have the greatest eating habits. I'm very lucky that I can't eat much or I would be up a creek. My eating habits do stem a lot from 2 post-op pregnancies where I ate to let those babies thrive and yes, it's hard to break those habits once they start up again. I had very rough pregnancies, I am now a year into menopause at the age of 31, and I fight every single day to maintain below my initial goal weight of 155 lbs (currently I am at 137 lbs). I was down to 131 lbs and even below that for a while. I gained back some weight after my hysterectomy and all the sudden, I feel that I am being seen as a "failure" by different people. Trust me, I am NOT a failure. I am not a failure in the eyes of my surgeon, in the eyes of my true friends and family, and most importantly, I am not a failure in the eyes of myself. I am proud of my accomplishments. If I stay within a healthy BMI, then who are you to look down on me. Actually, who are we to judge each other anyways. We are all here for the same reason : We all want to lose weight and get our lives back. I know I got mine back and then some! I might not always have the best eating habits, I might still have a few health problems, but I'm 200% better off now than I was this time 6 years ago.
I've stayed around this board for the better part of 6 years now and I've seen a lot of people come and go. I've seen a lot of people maintain for 5, 10, even 15 years, but I've also seen a lot of people have regain (significant regain) and either accept it for what it is, lose via exercise and diet, or have a revision (usually out of pocket cost). I saw one person say the other day that when you get close to goal, you don't come around so much anymore. I think when you're at goal (or close to it) and trying to maintain is when you truly need support the most. The farther you get out from your WLS, the harder it is to maintain your "perfect" eating habits from being a new post-op and the easier it is to slide back into old habits. I think the farther out you are, the more you do need the accountability, friendship, and support of your fellow post-ops. You don't need the rudeness, drama, and backstabbing from the new post-ops who think they are invincible and that it can never happen to them, that they will never gain back weight because they won't do the "wrong things".
I am almost sad sometimes now when I come to this board and it use to be a place where I came for friendship, support, and comfort from people who were the same as me... WLS patients (or people seeking WLS). Now it doesn't seem as supportive. Well, here's to a new year and hopefully a new perspective on things, as well!
Since New Years Resolutions seem to backfire, I am not making any this year hehe. I am going with the flow and letting things happen as they will. Hopefully 2010 will be a great year for all of us!
Ramblings... and some new pics!
Dec 11, 2009
On another note, yay, I'm in menopause! (HEAVY on the sarcasm!) I am in early menopause, thanks to my hysto, but the doctor is certain I was in it prior to the hysto so I guess it's not fair to blame it on the surgery. It's not the most fun thing, but we're getting as much of a grip on it as we can, but not much we can do except let it happen now.
Also, I've been seeing an allergist now as the asthma/allergies have grown increasingly worse. The suggestion now is the EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program) and see about a possible relocation to a more humid environment (the dry, dusty environment of Oklahoma is a KILLER and I have had bad asthma/allergies since birth anyways) with the facilities to accomodate my needs. I need 2-3 allergy shots a week and will be having to travel 55 miles one way to get those (ugh). They are doing a TON of construction in the area I live in. The list goes on and on. Lots of things are factoring in on making it worse instead of better. My tonsils and adenoids (especially my adenoids) need to come out, but I refuse any more surgeries until I've had at least 6 mos to recover from the hysto.
On yet another note, the weight is settling back out again (no more gain, about 2-4 lbs loss, at this point) and my self confidence is back where it was and FINALLY I'm doing good with that. I still have good firm abs for having a baby post-TT (the only way they would be tighter is if I just had the TT again). I feel good! I am happy the holidays are here and I love shopping for gifts for all the family and friends!
Now, if we can just get out of Altus hehehehe..
These are my thoughts how 2009 has been goin' down for me...
Nov 19, 2009
So this is were I will begin on the year 2009. It's been nothing but shear havoc from one side of it to the other side and then everywhere in between. I am grateful for the few dear friends I have hung on through the trials and tribulations of 2009, as it shows me that you're all truly my dearest friends. I'm ever so grateful to have you in my life.
I had many events going on this year that could have sent a shock to anyone's system who didn't already have health problems pending, let alone mine. We got less than 1 week notice they were deploying my husband into BC3 (Convoy duty) and he had to try cram all this training into a matter of days, plus pack. It was utter chaos. My stress level went through the roof, but I managed to survive. Did a little traveling, a lot of shopping, and had a lot of fun with the kiddos. I talked to him almost every day. Time went by fast and soon enough he came home to us!
I had a nearly full Hysterectomy (I still have one ovary) in mid-Sept. It's thrown my system out of whack, but I should have the results on that soon, I hope. They ran extensive tests and I hope to get good news from them.
The inevitable thing happened after my Hysto that I'd so been trying to avoid for many years. I gained back 10 lbs. I know most people, to include my own doctors, say that 10 lbs is no big deal, but to me it is. I'm just having to learn to cope with it and it's hard. Maybe I am really just too hard on myself. I still fit all my clothes. I am well within a normal, healthy BMI, and everyone says I look no different/that I look great. I think I really am just paranoid about the weight. I went ahead and I hid the scale from myself. I am giving myself a nice long vacay from it. I am going to get over these body issues once and for all and they will never beat me again... that's my good spirit speaking out here!!
Speaking of vacay~ We will be on one come Feb and March! We'll be in Northern Cali and St Louis and that whole surrounding area. If any of friends are in those areas, I'd love to do a meet-up! I'd love to meet as many of y'all as I can! Let me know as soon as y'all can and we'll start planning up something.
~ Much love ~
~ Renae
Aug 31, 2009
http://www.facebook.com/airmansxprincess or if that doesn't work, I'm Renae Pretty. I'm sure there's not many, if anyone else, with my name.
I look forward to talking to y'all soon!!
Learning to accept myself v.2
Apr 25, 2009
Ok, so after I talk about accepting myself as a size 6, some miracle occured and I dropped into a 3/4. Maybe I can attribute it to the fact that I've been working out more (always at home because of the kiddos), but I have never worn a Jrs 3/4 in my life. I'm surprised and pleased to say I'm not fighting with demons telling me that I can get into a 2 now. It's a nice change. I think my perspective might have been totally off in the past. I have "mothering" hips and athletic built legs. I'm sure I couldn't squeeze either into a tiny size 2. I'm just so happy to have come as far as I have with my weight and my co-morbidities that are no longer a factor in my life. I never would have thought 5 years ago that I would have 2 beautiful kiddos now. I am in a wonderful marriage and I finally KNOW I deserve to have him. The self-esteem has gone up by leaps and bounds. I owe Dr Warnock everything for giving me back my life! There are so many things I have done and can do now that I would have never dreamed about doing as a pre-op. (I'll save all that for the 5 year post, however :) )
If you're still considering the surgery, just know this much... It's NOT the easy way out. It's a life change, but it's WELL worth it. The road to success is a wild ride, but the victory over obesity is a sweet ending :)
Learning to accept myself...
Mar 30, 2009
~ Renae
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
