SouthernFriedIssues

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149 days.  That is how long it has been since my surgery.  Yesterday, January 27, 2012 I officially reached onderland.  My weight was 199.2 pounds!!  My goal is 165 lbs.  With my bone structure, height, and muscle mass, that will probably put me at a size 8.  I haven't worn a size 8 since I was in high school.

When I first started gaining weight in my early 20's, I avoided the scales like the plague.  I went literally years and didn't know how much I was gaining.  Later, after relatively successful periods of losing weight, I would become fixated and weigh every day.  Now, the scale doesn't hold a lot of power over me.  I do weigh frequently, but if it stalls I don't threaten the scales with a hammer (as  I have literally done in the past

I am so very excited that I am below 200 lbs.  A few weeks ago, I had a nosy coworker ask me how much I weigh and I unashamed told her 201 lbs.  She nearly dropped her cup of coffee ...unable to believe I weighed "that much."  I don't think even at my heaviest, that anyone would have believed I weighed 278lbs.  I believed it...I lived it.  Encased in fat, I felt trapped...

So as my journey to "freedom" continues, I celebrate this milestone....and look forward to many more!

My RNY surgery has changed my life!

This week, when I went in and updated my weight loss, I noticed my ticker was exactly in the middle of the scale.  I am officially at my half way point.  56 pounds lost, and 56 pounds to go.  As I sat there, rather incredulous, several thoughts surfaced.

First, I am excited to know that from here on out, every ounce I lose puts me closer to my goal than I was before.  I won't say I'm on the "down hill slide"...because I know my new tool isn't a magic bullet for my problem.  Every day of the rest of my life will be about making choices...THE RIGHT CHOICES... My life won't be focused with dieting, and the "up hill" struggle of hating myself for every morsel of food I consume.  The rest of my life will be about celebrating that I CAN DO IT...I can be the person that I once was, before she was encased in a tomb of fat.

Secondly, every step I take that puts me closer to my goal is a small victory for everything I am.  I am smart.  I am capable.  I am funny.  I am a fighter.  Too often, some of the qualities are overlooked by those around me merely because when people see fat, they don't look past the pounds....to see the person.

And finally, every step towards my goal I vow to remember where I came from and to NEVER take for granted the tool I have been given.  I further vow to help others, those who experience the same struggles.  I had a teenager (friend of the family) ask me the other day if I was going to become "one of those really pretty, really skinny 'mean' girls"?  I laughed and assured her I would not.  I plan to do everything I can for anyone who needs information or wants to talk about bariatric surgery.  I hope to pass it on.

So today on this very special date 11-11-11, I celebrate my halfway point.  I also look forward to every step I take closer to my goal!

Well, I wish I could say every day since my surgery has been wonderful.  Unfortunately, it hasn't been perfect.  Struggling with eating, drinking and the inflammation in my abdomen has been trying.  But this morning when I got up and stepped on the scales...I am down 24 pounds since the day of my surgery!!!  A grand total of 42 since I started in July.

There were days where I questioned my sanity.  There were days I was certain I was going to expire...and there were days when I felt like a invalid.  But never once, did I question why I did this.  I never said I wish I had not taken this journey.

So, I look forward to starting my second month.  I look forward to getting a little stronger every day.  I also appreciate all the well wishes and advice.

So, let's see what happens next....

Well, after lurking around OH for approximately 3 months, I have decided to pen my first post.  Strange behavior for me as I write for a living.  I have an opinion on everything.  I guess the genesis of my apprehension comes from not having "been there and done that" when it comes to the surgery.  I have had an unexplainable apprehension of actually joining the group.  For me, so far, it has seemed a little surreal.  However, today I received my surgery date and this 'reality' has given me the nudge I needed.

So, here I am.  Thrilled.  Curious.  Scared.  Excited.  Apprehensive.  Impatient.  And, ready to begin my journey.

My normal penchant for writing on and on is still yet a little stiffled.  

I just wanted to dip one toe into water....testing.  Looking for the support that others who have traveled this path before me can give....