Susan12803

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Well, still working out at the gym 3 to 4 nights a week. It always makes me feel better. I finally saw the scale move a little this morning, down to 188. I finally broke through the 190 barrier. I still rely on supplements for my protein, ie: muscle milk and pure protein bars, but it's worth it. I actually had a hot dog yesterday, no bun with mustard and it was good. Slow and steady goes the race. I had my first little issue with dumping syndrome this weekend also, but thankfully no diarrhea just the hot flashes and being so very tired. But I had a one scoop of strawberry cheesecake icecream at Stewarts and it was worth it. I'll not be doing it again for a looooooong time. I need to get some more clothes, I've gone from a 3x to an extra large. But with summer coming, I'm hoping to drop some more with the increased activity.

So, tonight I started working out at the gym. Now for anyone out there, I admit I was a little cautious. But Planet Fitness is a really nice place. For 10 bucks a month, you can work out all you want and get a trainer to start you along and help you whenever you need it. I feel like spaghetti, but I'm a happy spaghetti.

So, I suck at blogging. I forget, I'm tired, etc. What I wonder, is if I'm just afraid I'll dissappoint?? I feel dissappointed in myself for many reasons, I just hope I can gain some psychological strength and do what I really need to do with my life. The weight is slowly coming off, I'm back at work, and dealing with the no's of weight loss and eating. Still having constipation issues. I feel like an old lady obsessed with the bowels. Now that I'm on my way with my health, I need to figure out how to fix other areas of my life, ie: my marriage, my spouse's addictions to alcohol. I feel despair and then I don't want to realize what a great gift I have given myself with my wls. So just keep thinking of me, I'll try to be a better blogger, and god bless all.

Well, it's week one of my journey. Had my first appointment at Ellis Medicine Bariatric Center on 10/10/11 and got what I thought was a lot accomplished. Labs, Ekg, met with my case worker. I thought that was alot. Now I have 2 psychologist appointments coming up, a medifast appt, meet my surgeon appt, upper gi, pulmonary testing, nutritionist, and my mammo and pap smear. I still have to go to 2 support group meetings on top of all that. I thought I'd be starting my medifast diet right from the start, but this program wants you to do the Lean & Green diet first, then go to the Medifast if you cannot lose the weight, or lose it fast enough. I started the week at 260 lbs and on day 5 I am down to 251. So there must be a method to their madness. I am already sick of eating EggBeaters and am in search for something new to eat for breakfast. Also my very supportive husband bought some Tofu, but how does one cook it?? So right now it's in the fridge. Yesterday was a bad day for me, had my first breakdown since starting this process (yeah, i know day 3?? i feel like such a shit.) Cried, felt like a failure even though I am losing lbs. If anyone else feels like this, drop me a line. We're in this together. I'll add to blog next week on Fridays and update my progress. Thanks for reading/listening/empathizing.