Sweet_56
This is the story of a girl....
Aug 25, 2011
Here I am writing my first online blog about my weight, weight loss, and my life in general.
I'll already apologize this first blog will probably be slightly long winded, but I will try my hardest to be clear and sum everything up.
Which leads to the first question where do I start?!
I have always been an optimist and I try to live my life with the half full glass. I love to laugh, smile, and I love to be the life of the party. I am however also the girl that is capable of being completely miserable, but you would never know. I spent many years hiding my emotions about being the awkward girl. My uncle Francois (BoBo) was the man that finally helped me to be comfortable in my skin...More on that later...
To the story you’re all looking for...
I have struggled with being the "big" kid all my life. I was the tallest girl (you think that would make you awesome, but it didn't I was constantly teased about my height) around from my earliest memories until I was about 15 (I still don't understand how 14 year old boys grow 3 feet in just 1 summer), however I also became horizontally gifted around the age of 8 give or take a year. Once I started gaining weight there was no stopping this train wreck. Fast-forward through high school and I yo-yoed with my weight. I'd get on a health kick and stay on the straight and narrow drop some weight which was always followed by some teenage drama and gaining it all back with interest. I believe I tipped the scales in High school around 350-375. I constantly skipped gym to prevent the ridicule and looks. They did the belly fat pinch test and I didn’t need it I was obviously over weight, but I think it was to try and jumpstart my weight loss by embarrassing me. It worked at first until I was soo embarrassed and mortified I could no longer attend, and so it became an outlet that fuelled my overeating while everyone else attended PE I was in the lounge eating JUNK (WHY DO SCHOOLS ONLY PROVIDE JUNK??!!!) wishing I could be a fit athletic girl which *cue vicious overeating cycle*
To be completely honest I don't have many good memories of High school. High school was a tragic time for me and my family, and a lot of people that I looked to for support passed away. I remember a few teachers that went above and beyond for me, but I also remember those who made my HS life a living breathing hell. I ended up dropping out and having to return a year later when I was ready to try again.
So... the low down on BoBo... He was a Big (550-650lbs) man who never let anything get to him. I remember as a young chubby girl always asking why he was never sad. He said “Life is too short to cry over people who are too stupid to accept you for the amazing person you are inside... Those people don’t deserve to be your friends because you are the prettiest girl in the world.” My uncle helped me learn how to accept my body and be comfortable with myself. I know that I sound crazy when I say I am comfortable in my skin, but the truth is that... I am however not comfortable with the limitations that my weight creates for me. I watched my uncle’s weight slowly kill him. First he had Diabetes, Renal failure, and finally transfusions. He ended up dying from Septic shock after he had surgery to remove his lower left leg due to his Diabetes which for the record healed perfectly. The septic shock was related directly to his weight and a gigantic lack of care and compassion from the nursing staff. His death was one of the worst things I had ever experienced aside from the death of my dad 3 years earlier. Losing BoBo was like losing the one person in the world that understood where I was coming from. I am the only obese gal in my immediate family.
After his death in 2004 and my last Grandparent in 2006 I spiralled downhill. My weight slowly crept up on me. I was big enough that it was nearly impossible to weigh myself, and it was embarrassing when I was weighed. I lost weight when I first moved away from home in 2006-2007. I was feeling great, but it was short lived and the weight I lost I gained back with a lot of interest. I spent time looking into WLS here in Saskatchewan, but the wait times are just ridiculous! I couldn’t imagine waiting 3-4 years back then, and I still can’t imagine waiting 2.5 years now. I want to get to a place where I am healthy, happy, and starting to REALLY live my life. I want to get this tool while I am still reasonably healthy, and I think it’s crazy that many doctors would wait until I develop Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, and other health complications. As such I decided that self-pay in Mexico would be the road for me to follow. I have decided that the sooner I start this Journey the better.
I plan to finish my Social Work Degree and use that to aide me while I advocate for persons who are “Above Average” (I also hate that term... What is average now a day’s anyways??!?!!) I know as a person with a weight problem I have been treated far worse than any of my thin counterparts, and a lot of harsh and unfair judgements are made about me because I am Fat.
I plan to Blog here on OH, and I intent to start a VLOG on YouTube or such to track my success, and vent about my fears and issues.
I look forward to this journey..... I can’t wait to join the loser’s bench!! 
Cheryl
