My life...in recent days...

Aug 25, 2009

So where do I start. Maybe where I last left off. But I cant remember where that was. Lol. So Ill just try to cover it alllll.
My mother recently graduated from college. This has lifted a layer of stress off our household as she now functions at a normal speed. Im so proud of her. At 52 she has done something I couldnt do at 17...and probly never will do. Yay for the mom!!! And my brother has just started his senior year at Penn State. Little smart ass. Hes going for his masters in Aquatic Biology...so hes not nearly finished yet. Oh how I wish I was born with brains. Lol.
So Ive been unemployed now since November of last year. Its not cool at all. Ive been looking...but living in the sticks doesnt do anything for a career unless you document the number of deer that populate the area. That would keep you pretty busy. My husband has also been unemployed. I think it was April when he was layed off. So money has been almost non-existant. It has made things really hard. Im sure many can relate.
My health hasnt been the best these days. After everything I went through back in March with the hernias, the surgery to repair them, and then the nightmare recovery that followed, I now believe I have again...another hernia. Its small still...just starting to bulge out. Pops out when it wants to...then goes back in. Which is how it starts. Before I know it...Ill have a permanent little bump. Oh joy. This really pisses me off to be honest. Considering I the fact that I was told Mesh would be used to repair the hernias...and then a month after surgery, a local Dr tells me no mesh was used...and that everything was just sown up...with stitches. I dont know how much of a difference it would have made. But either way...Im not pleased one bit.
Due to stress lately..Ive temporarily lost my ability to eat. My apatite has taken a vacation...and Im feeling the effects of it in a big way. I have Hypoglycemia...which is common in gastric bypass patients. My sugar is low....go figure. So I got myself a meter after having several very scary sugar attacks. I started eating more...which helped things. But of course this caused me to gain about 5 pounds. Why this bothered me to no end...Im not sure. I think I could feel it...in my jeans. And see it in my belly. Or maybe Im just that anal now...lol. Im not sure. I  had some long bouts of sickness as well. Kinda scared me. So Im overdosing on vitamins now. I take about 6 Gummie vitamins a day, 1 Biotin vitamin for hair-skin-and nails, 2 calcium chews, 2 Vitamin A, 4 Vitamin C, and Im getting some more stuff when I make my bi-weekly walmart run tomorrow. I think this swine flu BS has me all nervous too.
So to touch on my "drama"...yes...this is going to be one hell of a book-blog when Im done.
Im trying to figure out how to word this so it wont be insanely long. OK. So two guys decide they like me. They are friends. Making a VERY long story short...One night the one friend tries to push himself on me...and the other friend (in my defense) kicks the crap out of his friend. But...unfortunately the guy was hurt very badly. The boy that got hit needed facial and eye socket reconstructive surgery. So his friend is now being charged with aggravated assault, will pay thousands in medical bills, and will more than likely be sued for pain and suffering. Its been a horrible ordeal. Ive gotten threats...people that want to hurt me because I was the supposed "cause" of the fight. There is so much to this that I cant go into. But its been a nightmare. It made me want to stay in my house...and never leave it again. Its not even close to being over yet. So Im sure theres more drama yet to unfold from it all.
To top it off...Im still having issues with my husband. I find out more lies every day. It makes me question who Im sleeping next to at night. If Ive ever really known him at all. And after 5.5 years...Im thinking its never going to change. Ive stuck around longer than any sane woman would. Forgiven more times than I can count. And suffered more from his mistakes than he ever will. I think its getting down to the end of the line. I hate to say it...but I feel divorce is inevitable. Another hurdle Ill have to get through. One Im not looking forward to.
A lot of this has been a very swift smack in the face for me. Im starting to see that I will not be happy unless I make some huge changes. That if my stress level doesnt come down...my health wont be where it should be...and I will have gray hair by the age of 28. On a better note...Im trying to get back into my music. Hence my little home recorded attempts posted on here... This weekend..if all goes well I will be meeting with a band. Ive never been in a band before. So Im freaking out a little bit. I usually sing my own music. I dont know many covers. And I dont sing well with others...lol. SO...it will be interesting to see how it goes.

I cant keep my eyes open to type more. At this point...my husband is missing. He took a friend to the ER a few hours ago...called saying hed be home by 12:30 am..its now almost 2:30am. This is just an example of what I put up with. I dont think he cares that I sit here...worried...calling cell phones no one picks up...wanting to make sure everything is ok with his friend and him for that matter...hoping he didnt hit one of the 50 million deer that roam our county while driving home from the hospital (which is 40 minutes away) Not sure what I need...a valium...a stiff drink...or a coffee to keep me awake until he comes strolling through the door. If he does at all. (sigh)

7 Comments