I'm not hungry..so why am i SO hungry?

Aug 21, 2011

I am in my second week of classes. Surgery should be very close to the new year. I am so excited to start my life sometimes I just start to cry. I've always been the fat girl. I can remember certain things people said to me about me being overweight like they happened yesterday and still get hot flashes remembering how I felt hearing them. I'm not sure how different things will be when I lose weight, but not wanting to stay home instead of having a girl's night because I just KNOW I will be the biggest one there, or just hoping no one asks if I am pregnant while I'm grocery shopping..yeah..I'll be able to live without that anymore. I'm in between week 2 & 3 of surgery classes (out of 12) and even being heavy, I can't remember the last time I really dieted. Like, REALLY dieted. It is so much harder than I remember & it doesn't matter how good something I ate was, I can't stop thinking about McDonalds and it is driving me nuts. I eat a sandwhich and an apple & know I am full, but I think of a double cheeseburger meal and my mouth waters and my tummy grumbles. I can't stand it. Am I really at the point where the thought of fast food makes me hungry? MOUTH WATERING hungry? It makes me so disgusted with myself. My goal is to lose 29lbs by October 26th (the end of my classes.) After week 1 of dieting, my overall conclusion is: it sucks.

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