Terry Cieniewicz

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All those posts I would read and scratch my head over...I know understand MUCH better.  I keep telling myself it will get better and 2 weeks is not forever.   My biggest thing is relearning how much I can eat.  It always seems like I have eaten too much.  PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.    Enough whining.

Hello world...I'm 2 days old today!!!

I have surgery tomorrow at 3:45 at Trinity Hospital.   I am going to consider Feb 4th my re-birthday. 

I am still not nervous.  I had a few, short episodes of nerves but I am more excited then anything.  I have been mourning the future loss of bread's and a few other foods.  After all, they helped make me what I am today.     
I found the first email that I sent about maybe having this surgery.  It was dated 9/11/08.  It has taken me 4 1/2 months from conception of the idea to surgery date.  It does not seem that long looking backwards but O'BOY did it seem like forever looking forward.

I AM SCHEDULED FOR 3:45 ON FEB 4TH AT TRINITY HOSPITAL

The only problem is I was at work and could not shout out my HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amy filed my insurance yesterday!!!!! 
Now I wait, some more.

This is scarry but I checked with the new company and it is covered and seems easier to be qualified.  Who knows, maybe it is a blessing.  I could use some good news.

I had my nutrition and psych consultations today and sched for the EGD on 12/10.  Almost there.

I recieved an unexpected call today.  The Doctor's office called and said they had a cancellation and wanted to know if I wanted that appointment (My initial visit).
 
YES!!!!  YES!!!!  YES!!!!  YES!!!!

I am still doing my six month sup. diet and still have 4 appts to go.  Nov is on the 14th.  I am so sick of feeling sorry for myself.  I know, only I can solve that problem.  I have done Weight Watchers for the past 6-7 years and the program is imprinted on my DNA at this point.

That being said, I have done some damage lately (figuratively speaking).  I am re-trying everything I can think of that I want and believe I may not be able to tolerate after surgery.  Doughtnuts, cake, cheesecake, fries,...I know I should be dieting, 6 month thing and all, and I am, sort of.  Until/Unless I get a co-morbidity I can only lose down about 14 pounds.  If you think I am going to screw this up that way you are out of your 
F_ _ _ ing mind.  I have managed to lose 2 pounds (and gain it back) in the last 2 months.  I have an appt for a sleep study on the 14th and if that comes back as I know it will then I will be able to relax and (wait a minute, this sounds totally backwards) lose some weight. 

I have been miserable eating what I want.  That is the honest truth.  (OK, I might not pass the psych consult.)  I have never been so bloated in all my life.  I put MYSELF on clear liquids for the last 2 days because all the fat/sugar has really done a number on my stomach.  I think I will just eat healthy again and see what happens.

I found the memorial page on this website and looked at them.  It is very sad that people, myself included, have to make a choice which way they may die...from obesity or the surgery that could help them.

I gathered from the memorial I read that most of them would have done it again.  The chance for hope of a better life was worth the risk.  And so it is for me.   I'll spin the wheel and see what fate gives me.

Not a really good subject  for a first post, huh?