4/2/12

Apr 11, 2012

Went to the Dr this morning.....I now weigh 236!!!!!! I am now wearing a size 18, I for sure have not been this size since I meet my husband 20 years ago, So much in my life has changed, I am a smaller size but when I look in the mirror I still see me, My bff gave me a picture from last August I have to say I didnt realize I was so big, I mean I knew I was a big woman and always have been but I didnt see myself as a huge woman I am so upset at myself for letting me get that out of control.....and now I am scared to death that once the wls stops working and its all on me that I will gain back the weight, I just pray that I can learn to control the urges to eat and the depression eating.  I now love my by-pass, I think it's so funny when my pouch talks, lol I love going and trying on clothes, I love walking and breathing at the same time, I love chasing my 2 yrs old grandson around the yard, I love getting up at 2am with my 2week old grandson and still be able to function the next day, I for the most part am a much happier person, not that my depression has left me it still hangs out quiet abite but I am learning to manage it better, losing weight has been something I have wanted my whole life and I plan to be the best person i can be

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