TexasPrincess08

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So I thought I would put it in black and white what my goals are starting right this very day!

1. I want to look and feel amazing when I take my engagement pictures sometime this year.

2. I want to look and feel amazing each time I try on a wedding dress

3. I want to stay on track for the rest of the year

4. I want to try and hit 135 or be as close as possible by September 15.

5. I want to be able to wear a swimsuit this summer and not feel embarrassed

6. I want to run the turkey trot this year with my in laws

7. I want to try harder to get out of debt

8. I want to get my next tattoo for my 1 year surgiversary

9. I want my fiancé to be able to pick me up with ease

10. I want to be able to meal plan better

So I just reread my 2 month post op post and it made me want to cry! I can't help but feel as though I have let that girl 2 months post op down because I did eat those Christmas cookies I was so determined not to eat. I have cheated A LOT the past two months! I am trying to get my strong will back and I know its gonna take time and effort. I can now wear a size 32 in big stars I found out which is pretty awesome. I am also wearing a size 14 jeans from torrid, tops from there are getting to be to baggy and so I'm gonna have to start looking somewhere else for shirts. I am so excited about my new job! It's going to be fun and something I am so passionate about! I'm hoping that being passionate about this new job makes me passionate about losing the rest of my weight, since everyday I work I have to look like I work for Elizabeth Arden! I have also decided to start looking into OA support groups, but still not 100% sure just because I am going to be so busy with school full time and work full time but, I did realize that after this semester I'm done with school its so frustrating I hate it I hate studying and homework and I have plenty of possibilities to move up in the company I'm about to work for. 66 more pounds to go I never thought I would get this far! I love my sleeve and now its time to treat it like I should.

Hard to believe its been two months since my surgery its been a pretty challenging few months between my weight loss, school, work, moving, and a pregnancy scare. I can honestly say that so far I feel amazing watching my body change. I finally realized today truly how huge my pants had gotten, especially when I tried on my first pair of size 34 Miss Me jeans last night. I was so close to tears since I had never been able to even fit one leg inside one of those jeans. I didn't buy them though since they were still 75.00 dollars and I'd rather spend that kind of money on jeans when I am at my goal. Moving is going well almost done with all that nonsense I think being on the 3rd floor is contributing to my weight loss, but I don't get as winded anymore its still hard, but I know it will get easier. I'm still eating clean not as often as I should, but that will change once we get settled in the new place we plan on being very strict about not eating out which will be nice. 20.6 pounds away from ONEderland I know I can do it I want to try and do it before my 3 month post op visit just to surprise everyone and myself. With the holidays coming up I feel the need to bake its what I've always done baking homemade pumpkin bread, and my pretty popular peanut butter blossoms. I still plan on making those this year, but I will not eat any! Cheating is not in the cards for me not yet...I plan on loosening up later on when it isn't so hard to burn off empty calories. I think I will start blogging every month now and at 6 months I will measure myself again to see how much I've lost.  

So I have never done anything like this... I don't really know where to start. At the moment I feel anxious I have all my last few appointments scheduled before surgery and all I can say is I'm ready I feel like I've mentally prepared and yet I can't imagine what its going to be like after surgery since I have never had surgery before. I can't imagine what its going to be like to be at my goal weight and in a way that kind of scared me and excites me all at the same time I don't know maybe I'm just crazy lol. I don't know if I've ever been at my goal weight before I cant remember, but I do know once I'm there I will be happier I just hope I will be the same person at the end I don't want to be a bad version of myself I want to be a better version of myself who is still known as the sweet girl who is too nice for her own good. I'm rambling so I'll end my first blog post. Goodnight!