xcherryblossomx

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I've decided that despite the fact it will take me a LONG time to pay it off, I am going forward with revision surgery. My life is more valuable than money. What is a bit more debt in a society where most of us are in debt? I am going to get VSG to mini gastric bypass revision surgery.

I contacted many different surgeons. Because I live on Vancouver Island, flights to San Diego are significantly cheaper than flying to Mexico. Due to this I decided on getting surgery in Tijuana. I narrowed it down to four choices: ALO Bariatrics, Tijuana Bariatric, Pompeii Surgical Bariatric and Mexico Bariatric Center. I had my VSG in 2014 with Dr. Lopez with ALO Bariatrics in Puerto Vallarta. 

This time, however, I have decided to go forward with Dr. Louisiana Valenzuela with Mexico Bariatric and I am beyond excited. I have been impressed with my patient coordinator so far as well. I will let you know when my surgery date is! Once we set a date, I'm paying my deposit and booking my flights pronto!!

My first surgery in Mexico feels like a distant memory. My life 5 years ago was completely different. My career, where I lived, relationships, family, pets, vehicles, everything! By needing revision surgery it is hard to not feel like a failure. 

I need to remember a few things. At 15 I was put on an insane cocktail of anxiety meds, anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, ADHD meds, EVERYTHING they could think of to get my anxiety disorder and major depression under control. I began to have an insatiable appetite and major cravings. Even for food I didn't even like before that. I gained over 100lbs in 1 year. This was the beginning of my struggle with weight. On top of this I developed polycystic ovary syndrome when I hit puberty during the same timeframe. This was a recipe for disaster.

Thankfully, as an adult in control of my own life, I was no longer taking an insane amount of medication and very cautious of side effects. By the time I had my VSG at the age of 27 I cold "turkeyed" my medication and wasn't on any medication until 2018. 

For the last couple years I had plateaued in my weight-loss and was stuck at 195-205. I never gained outside of this range and never lost either. The positive was I maintained being in this weight-bracket.

It was time that I needed to be on an anti-depressant again. I was adamant that I would not take anything that had any risk of weight related side effects. I was put on trintellix. No weight side effects - awesome! However, it didn't really help my mental health. I had what I would call a breakdown in December of 2018. I couldn't function, couldn't work, was unable to sleep, had crippling panic attacks, etc. I was referred to a psychiatrist who put me on Zoloft (sertraline). I was diagnosed with having PTSD due to my childhood which was causing anxiety, etc. I was told there was a 1 in 4 chance it could affect my weight but being alive was more important.

Well between December 15, 2018 and now I have went from 195 to 225. This may not seem like a lot to some people for me this is extremely worrying. I know I need to be on the medication to get through life right now. Yes, I want to work with my specialists to get on a medication that doesn't affect weight but in the 1 - 2 years this could take I refuse to gain another 100lbs+ and be back where I started. I cannot do that again. People in my life have noticed and are extremely scared for me.

This medication has messed with my appetite and I'm having insane cravings. It's horrible. It's like my past is happening to me all over again. It's great having free health care in Canada but it sucks that it will take months to get in just to see my psychiatrist to discuss a med change. This is totally unacceptable and I see why we are having a mental health/addiction crisis. 

It is time to put myself into more debt to save my life. 

I had stretched out my stomach some with drinking while eating and introducing carbonated drinks. I won't make that mistake for a second time. Perhaps if I hadn't done this I would have gone below 195lbs. I have to remind myself that 340lbs to 195lbs is a victory and something to be proud of. It is nice to know that the only thing that changed in my life causing me to gain weight this time is the medication. I'm still scared to death by it but I'm happy to know it wasn't just emotional eating or me losing control. It is this stupid frigging medication!!!! Ugh!

That's enough b*tching from me. The next step is to break this to my boyfriend. I am worried he won't be supportive. He knows I struggle financially and cannot afford to do this. I know he loves me how I am. Despite how much I love this man, if he can't support me in this he obviously isn't the man for me and I'm leaving. Ideally I would like him to come with me to Mexico. I'll post how that conversation goes (yikes). 

I cannot believe I went alone the first time. I hadn't even been to Mexico before lol! I think I had 3-4 connecting flights each way last time too. At least after having surgery I was able to pre-board each time.

Okay, time to run!

Good luck to everyone out there right now on whatever stage of your journey you are at! 

I have not been on this website in years. It actually took me awhile to figure out how to log back in. I will start out by saying I am not where I thought I would be more than 5 years after my gastric sleeve.

I lost a large chunk of weight in the first year. I didn't have carbonated drinks or alcohol for about 2 years. Both have crept back into my life. I can almost eat a full plate of food now which isn't good either.

By May of 2018 I had FINALLY got into the 190s. Yay for entering Onederland. I had a tummy tuck that month as well to remove excess skin. I have a large amount of excess skin on my upper arms and on my thighs. The skin on my thighs gets irritated. 

Since this date my mental health took a plunge. I got on new medication which increased my appetite. Now in July of 2019 I weigh 225lbs. 

I struggle to not eat. Despite my successes I feel like a failure. I tried keto. Intermittent fasting. Therapy. Hypnosis. Weight watchers. Counting Calories. Everything lol.

I need to remember I have come a long way and I can get back into the 190s again. I am looking into getting a second bariatric surgery in Mexico. We will see how I do on my own. 

Fell off the band wagon for the weekend. A couple of girlfriends and I went down to Fargo to shop some awesome American deals. We were very busy and didn’t eat often but I guess what little I ate wasn’t so great. Gained 4lbs over 3 days! 

I might skip this Friday’s weigh-in and kick ass until next Friday! The one major difference I am noticing in myself is I am not letting these setbacks get me down. Even a couple of months ago this weight gain would be the end of the world to me, and I would spiral into a frenzy of depression and eating like crap. Now, it gives me motivation to kick more weight-loss butt!!!!

Now, off I go to intensely work out for an hour! Then another 2 hour walk this evening! Wish me luck!

As I was laying down to go to sleep last night I started laughing. I knew it was Thursday, why on Earth I thought it was my Friday weigh-in is beyond me. And I went and blogged it on here, ha ha! So I guess my Friday weigh-in this week was a Thursday weigh-in, and I get an extra day for next week.

I am finally back on track. With a refreshed sense of positivity and motivation, along with the help of my Noom Coach Pro app, I am feeling in control of my health and weight-loss again. I've been averaging around 800 calories a day and over 80g of protein. Been working out at least once a day. I do my weigh-ins Friday mornings. In the last two weeks I have lost 6lbs and 5" off my waist!!!!!! 

Feeling good today and had to write about it!!! Hope everyone else is having a good Friday too!

Aaaaaah! I just came to the realization I've been getting in way too many calories than is the norm/what is recommended. Is it possible I've stretched out my stomach 6 months post-op!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 

I've finally found a protein drink that doesn't make me throw up so maybe have that 3x a day for meals?? That brings me to 660 calories and 69g of protein. Maybe have a piece of meat in there too? 

Up until this point, without being able to keep down protein drinks/bars/powders/etc, I have had to focus on getting all my protein from eggs, cheese, meat etc. I think maybe by doing this I have allowed myself to be able to eat way more than I am supposed to. Like.... sticking to 1200 calories is barely possible. Feel like I am starving. 

OMG. 

I am going to try living off these protein drinks with a piece of meat or something a day for a week. Lots of water. See how I do.

So I messed up. I fell off the wagon this weekend. The scale wasn’t what I had hoped for Friday morning and that coupled with a bad week = terrible eating habits. From snacking on Halloween chocolates meant for trick-or-treaters, getting cheeseburgers at the drive through, eating cream cheese iced cinnamon buns, to you name it… I ate awful. I was also extremely busy and haven’t worked out since Thursday. Not good.

I had to admit all of this to someone, and OH, that someone is you.

Tomorrow I will get back on track! I am waking up early to workout. Back to counting calories and focusing on protein. Must think positively!

Wish me luck!  

Finally over my plateau. For the longest time I was stuck at 244/245lbs... then at 242lbs. I'm finally at 240lbs. Hopefully I will be in the 230s soon. I can't remember the last time I was in the 230s!

Also, I am finally able to drink my Syntrax Nectar Caribbean Cooler flavoured protein powder without dying. It may not be as healthy as almond milk or water, but if I Magic Bullet it with apple juice I can drink it no problem!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe now I will finally be able to get in 80+ grams of protein a today. I'm really excited about this lol. 

Edit

I also did the BL 6 Week Cardio Crush workout and Day 6 (Total Body Stretch) of the 10 Day Accelerated Fat Loss Zumba program today. I will be going for a 2 hour walk this evening. 

Hope everyone is having a good Monday!

Happy Belated Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadians on here!

I have been stuck at 242lbs. I admit I let it get me down at first. The past couple weeks I have used it as a source of motivation to really get working out. Almost every evening I have been going for 1 to 2 ½ hour walks with a girlfriend of mine. Today I did Day One of the 10 Day Zumba Accelerated Fat Loss Program (Zumba Accelerate). I also did the BL 6 Week Cardio Crush level 1 workout, which I have been doing as often as possible. I am also supposed to go for a walk this evening. I am hoping if I keep all of this up I am going to kick my fat's butt and get into the 230s within the next 10 days.

Even though my weight has stayed the same I must admit I can feel my body changing, getting smaller and my clothes getting bigger. My sleep has continued to get better (no snoring/sleep apnea), still no thigh chafing (which is especially awesome with all of this exercise), normal blood pressure, migraine free, higher energy levels and just overall a better quality of life. Just in terms of all of these things this surgery has already changed my life. 

Getting all my protein in is still a struggle. My taste buds are still changed/heightened since the surgery. Every single protein product (shakes, bars, you name it) tastes NASTY! I was hoping that would have corrected itself by now. Today I made the decision to force myself to drink my Syntrax Nectar Caribbean Cooler that I was going to get my younger sister to take off my hands. Yes, it was super gross but it is good for me. I just need to think of it as if it is medicine and I need to take. Small price to pay for a happier life right? That's what I keep telling myself lol. 

I go back to Mexico in January, this time for a vacation, and I am SO excited. I am using that to motivate me as well. It would be nice to be on vacation and want to be in pictures!!!!!!! Plus I have a super cute bathing suit I would like to fit into. It also feels awesome to not have to worry about fitting into airplane seats/being able to buckle up. I would be stressing about that before and during my trip. Not fun!!! 

I best get going. All three of my dogs need a bath. Badly lol. I will try to keep focused on the positive and continue working out.

My #1 goal is to hit Onederland before or by my one year anniversary (Good Friday 2015). Wish me luck!!! 

Wishing everyone on here the best of luck, never give up! Take care 

I haven’t been on here for a while. Admittedly, I started to feel like I wasn’t losing as much as I should be and in turn, it didn’t appeal to me to provide any updates while down in the dumps. As of yesterday, I am down 60lbs since my surgery. My brain isn’t catching up with my body; it doesn’t feel like I have lost that much.

However, as I lose more weight, I start to notice more and more differences with my body. I haven’t had high blood pressure since surgery. I’ve always suffered from chronic migraines and haven’t had a single one since surgery!! This could be weight loss related but I’m guessing it has more to do with the differences in my diet (no caffeine/carbonated beverages, etc.). I no longer have sleep apnea. I rarely even snore anymore! Wearing shorts/skirts/dresses in the past always resulted in painful thigh chafing. I would always use chafing cream to treat this or prevent this from happening. This no longer happens! I am no longer on the verge of being diabetic. My skin has really cleared up also. It’s all of these little things that are starting to really make a difference. I’ve even had my first normal period in years!!!

My daily struggle/focus is getting in enough protein. Any protein powder, bar, product, etc. makes me vomit. So, I eat a lot of dairy, meat and nuts. I am still struggling to get in all my vitamins and supplements. I think I am having a problem with pill absorption. I can’t even take my prescription pills. They just make me vomit.  Except for my iron which is a chew, I have my vitamins/supplements in gummy format. They taste so yucky that it is easy for me to forget to take them. Later in the month I see my endocrinologist for the first time since surgery. I am hoping he will be able to have some suggestions for me.

My taste buds are still different post-op. I still cannot handle the taste of sweet foods, especially chocolate (bleh). The longest layer of my hair has thinned out as well. I am afraid I am going to have to chop several inches off. Someone I know suggested taking prenatal vitamins? I wonder if that would be better than what all I am taking now?

Anyway, I better get back to my night shift. Wishing you all the best of luck on your weight loss journeys!!

Take care!