Question:
Help, What is wrong with me? Why am so hateful to the ones I love?
I am a little over a year post op. For the past couple of weeks I snap at my husband and I hate to say it at my kids. I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. My marriage is falling apart. I feel like I am lost. Like I am not able to take care of my family. I stay depressed, I cry over stupid commercials.. For gods sake what is wrong with me????? My husband makes a suggestion about something and I bite off his head...... Help.... — TONYA B. (posted on October 12, 2002)
October 12, 2002
I am sorry things are rough for you right now. I do not know what is wrong
with you. Everyone has a time in their life when things seem to fall apart.
Go talk to someone, a friend, a pastor, or even a professional councelor.
Good luck. Remember, take time for just yourself. Even a good long walk
alone-so you can cry your eyes out can make a person feel better. Just
don't ignore the problem- do something before it gets worse. Hope you feel
better soon. Jan
— Jan S.
October 12, 2002
I am so sorry you are having a hard time. Sounds like maybe you're
depressed: irritability and frequent crying are signs, as are appetite and
sleep change, low mood, low self-esteem, feeling guilty, difficulty
concentrating, not enjoying things you used to like, feelings of
hopelessness and helplessness. I would see your PCP to rule out any
physical problems (ie thyroid) and think about seeing a therapist plus a
trial on an antidepressant. Research has shown that depression is best
treated by a combination of meds and therapy. You don't have to go through
this alone, and more importantly, you shouldn't. Please see your doctor
soon! Take care
— [Deactivated Member]
October 12, 2002
Dear Tonya . don't worry my friend this to shall pass i don't think it has
anything to do with your surgery it is just life stuff . i think everyone
feels the way your feeling right now every now and then . I sure know i
do.just try to focus on the good things in your life and ask GOD to help
you you will be just fine from kim.
— KIM B.
October 12, 2002
Call your PCP on Sunday, talk to him. There are lots of drugs out there
that can help you. I have been on Prozac for over ten years....it has
saved my life. Remember many of these drugs do not start working with the
first one you take...it takes several weeks. I do believe there are drugs
that react faster, so talk it over with the doctor. One thing my sugeon
told me to do, the day I left the hospital was to go home and get back on
the Prozac, or i would find myself in a deep dark depression of all kind.
take care and email me with any questions...
— barbara A.
October 12, 2002
First, are you taking your vitamins and eating an adequate diet? Poor
nutrition can contribute to depression and that is exactly what it sounds
like.<p>Make sure you are taking your vitamins and then go see your
PCP and get a referral to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist. There are
so many changes involved in losing so much weight. We have issues to
contend with about how we see ourselves, how others see us, our own
expectations of our behavior and probably lots of conflicted emotions about
not having food to fall back on. After a year, the attention may have
either fallen off or we may be tired of people in our faces about it all
the time.<p>It isn't an easy time and there is a lot to get used to.
I just read a study that said what we say to ourselves about compliments,
body image, and so on makes a big difference in how we feel. If we can
acknowledge that something is difficult and affirm that we will learn to
handle it, we feel better than if we just decide we are losers because
something is difficult.<p>Lots of anti-depressant drugs are available
to work hand in hand with a little counselling. Good luck!
— phoebe
October 12, 2002
I don't know whether your problem is related to your surgery or not, but
you are definitely seriously depressed. You might talk to a nutritionist
to see if what you're eating is part of the problem, but you need to see
your PCP or a psychiatrist and get on an anti-depressant as soon as
possible. Some therapy might also help, but definitely get on a medication
as soon as you can. You will get better, but don't try to wait it out
without help.
— Arlene S.
October 12, 2002
I did not realize I was depressed until after my second child was born and
my hubby all but walked out on me. I, at that time agreed to go see
someone. I found out that because of my obesity that my hormones were way
out of whack and I started on Paxil. I did not know that people were
supposed to smile and laugh every day until I started paxil. It has truly
given me life. I have since discovered that I have been depressed since I
was a child, just not as bad. I will be on paxil for the rest of my life.
I have been on it for 7 years now. The point I am trying to make is that
weight plays a HUGE role in your hormones and until you throughouly
stablize your weight for several years I would totally suggest seeing
someone about an antidepressant. The reason I chose paxil is that it has
the least side affects. I will be going in for WLS around the first of the
yhear. Good Luck and God Bless you!!!
— Darlene S.
October 13, 2002
Tonya, get to your doctor and describe to him/her how you are feeling.
Also, there are many "Depression tests" on the internet---answer
the questions and it will give you an indication of your level of
depression. From your description, I definitely think you are suffering
from clinical depression. You sound just like I was about 10 years ago. I
have been on anti-depressants since then and like one of the other posters,
I believe that they have saved my life, much alone my marriage! The
symptoms will NOT go away by themselves, so see you doctor! Also,
sometimes you will have to try several different medications to find one
that works for you. Don't get discouraged--if one doesn't work, ask your
doctor to change you to a different one. You WILL find the right one.
Hang in there, and don't feel ashamed. Depression is caused by a chemical
imbalance in the brain, not some type of weakness in the person. You'll be
all right!
— asumamma1
October 13, 2002
Something other than depression-it sounds like you are emotional due to
hormone fluctuations. I don't know how old you are, but you may be going
thru the early stages of menopause. And menopause can hit those as young
as their mid 20's thru mid 50's. Talk to your gynecologist. There are
simple blood tests to determine if you are entering menopause and
medications that can control it.
— Cindy R.
October 13, 2002
Girl, get to your doctor asap! I take medicine for manic drepression and
it is nothing to be ashamed of. I also see a psychologist 1 hour every
other week just to have someone to talk to that wont judge me and will give
me an unbiased opinion/suggestions. I see my psychiatrist(an md) every
other month for a medication check. If I need to change before then all I
have to do is call. I am so glad my best friend gave me an ultimateum 3
years ago to either go see a psychiatrist or loose her friendship. I will
admit at first I was offended, and felt I had no problems. WRONG! I
suffer from manic depression. The medicine I am on is great, I dont have
the BIG rollercoaster of emotions that I used to. Everything is more
manageable now.
— Angie L.
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