10 years ago...and I am back and need help

Almost 10 years ago, I posted the very first post on the Lap Band Forum.  I stumbled across it and realized that I had found a great community who helped me get through my Lap Band Surgery years ago.  I left OH a few times, once because I had joined another forum for Infertility (I have a 3 year old now) and again because I could not stand the fighting over which procedure was best.  Mostly, I left because I never thought I would consider surgery again.

The Lap Band seems to have come a long way but I have moved away from where my surgeon is and it has never really worked for me.  At best, I throw up chicken and fish and it never seemed to make a big difference.  I would occasionally feel uncomfortable and wait for the food to pass through.  Texture and density of food was all that ever really made a difference.  Filled or unfilled, I have the same result.

Recently, I started feeling sick.  My port hurt and I think my band actually started hurting. I was very uncomfortable and went to a local surgeon who said I was fine...hmm, I don't buy it.  I have heartburn and the pain has subsided but after 10 years, I am not sure this should be happening.  I have also put on 15 lbs in a short period of time.  I weighed 257 the day of surgery and for most of the time since and recently jumped to 270. I feel miserable, really miserable.  I am now 45 and not sure where to go from here.  

I think I want to either get this band removed because it causes me lots of stress.  I am also considering another procedure, VSG.  I am just so scared to go through with it. I feel that the ideal situation would be to lose the weight on my own and then when I am healthy, have the band removed and be done with it.  As I mentioned, I am a Mom of a 3 year old and I also have a stressful career and a 3 or more hour commute per day.  While I have run in 2 5K races, spent hours at the gym, it is very hard for me to keep this up with no results and just feeling weaker and weaker.  My sister just lost 140 lbs through exercise and diet but her way has been 2 hours of exercise in the AM and 2 hours in the PM and no eating (just coffee, vitamins and water) during the week and then eats what she wants on the weekends.  Who can keep that up?  Not me.  She is older than me and does not work and her kids are grown.  I feel like I need a little help here.  I don't have what it takes to spend all day on diet and exercise, I need to move, I knowe that but I also need to eat and I need to do my job and take care of my familyu and there never seems to be enough hours oin the day to get a good weight loss result.

My insurance will pay for another surgery but I am terrified of dying during surgery and leaving my boy.  I am almost paralyzed by this fear.  I know I went through surgery before but I was 35 and had just started dating my husband and I did not have a child.  I broke down tonight because I am always hurting, I feel miserable, unhealthy and incapable.  My career is suffering and I look horrible, all over.  Worst of all, I want to be there for my son. I waited so long to have him. Any advice or a hug would help..thanks.

I feel so sad for you! I understand your fears because I am considering VSG (my first appt with the surgeon is in 3 days!) as well. However, I am only 22. But I also have a 3 year old child, a girl.

I think that if you are feeling sick all the time and gaining weight again, then looking into a second procedure is definitely the thing to do.

I recently attended a WLS seminar and the surgeon who presented it was insistent that WLS is a life-long committment. If you get a restrictive procedure done, like the band, you have to have a restriction for life, otherwise you will gain the weight back, and then some. And gaining the weight back will do nothing for your confidence or your health.

I am feeling very motivated to get weight loss surgery because I want my daughter to see that it's okay to love your body and be proud of yourself. It's also best to be healthy, even if you have to do something that other people don't have to do (like get surgery or take certain medications or what have you).

Your son is lucky to have a mother who loves him so much! Don't forget that. But also don't forget to love yourself! If you need to get a second procedure, go for it~!

Thanks!  I wish you luck, 22 is the perfect age, it feels like I was there just yesterday.

Maybe you could take a look at the revisions board here on OH.  There are lots of folks who have revised from the band to other surgeries because the band just didn't work for them.  It sounds like it hasn't worked well for you either.

You're still young (I'm 63 and considering surgery) and have many years to spend with your child.  You will want to be active and be able to participate in his activities. I've seen so many posts from people who waited and waited, and then regret that they weren't able to be active in their children's lives and activities because of their weight.  The risks of dying during surgery are pretty minimal.  Go to the Search button and search for that info - I'm sure there are several links with that data available.

Do a lot of research about the various surgeries available now.  If it were me, I wouldn't want to have another band placed - I'd go for another type of surgery.

Best of luck to you!

Hi Melissa. Welcome back to the boards. We've read similar stories about the band over and over again.

We don't live too far apart and I had my surgery last June at BMI at Silver Cross Hospital. I too was concerned about death on the table and it was something I asked my doctors about specifically. After voicing my concerns I was given statistics, and told about experiences and I felt that it was a concern I didn't need to concern myself with.

You should go to some of the seminars that are hosted by the various bariatric doctors in our area and get a feel of who you want to make an appt with. There is no need to go through life feeling miserable as you say you do. You have a 3 yr old that deserves a happy healthy mom and you deserve to feel that way as well.

Good luck on whatever you decide!

According to the LapBand's own documentation, it was designed to reside in a person's body for 10 years, so your intuition is correct..it's time for it to come out.  That means another surgery no matter what - so now is the perfect time to start weighing your options.   It's better to remove it on your own terms instead of by way of an emergency procedure.

Hi Melissa. I was banded six years ago and didn't lose as I'd hoped and expected. However, on December 27, 2012, I had my Lapband removed. Then, on January 17th, I was revised to RNY. I'm 34, and I have a 3 and 8 year old, and let me tell you, I was terrified about leaving my children.  To make matters worse I'd read about a 26 year old young woman who'd died on the table after having DS surgery! But I researched mortality rates and was still anxious and nervous, but comfortable enough to go through with it.  I am now 1 week post op and very excited for the journey I've embarked on.  

Good luck with whatever you decide and if you need to talk I'm a PM away.

Sorry to hear that you've been struggling with your lapband for the last decade.  There are many stories of people on here successfully dumping their band for a sleeve, or RnY, or DS.  There are several highly successful revisionists in the VSG forum, and I'm sure the others as well.

You have to understand that your chance to die during surgery is very, very, very small - in fact, you're much more likely to die from complications of weighing 270 pounds than you are on the surgeon's table.  45 year's old is by no means "old" to be having surgery.  If you're 270 now, or 300 in the future, you are decreasing the odds that you'll be present at your child's life events like school graduation, marriage, and seeing grandchildren.

 I know you want to get the weight off and then have your band removed, but that doesn't really seem realistic.  I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but if you haven't lost your weight in the last 10 years, how are you going to suddenly do it now? And once that band comes out, there's nothing at all to prevent regain; it's immediate.  

Whichever path you choose to move forward, I hope you find success and peace.

I agree with the others, get the band out on your terms, you don't want to risk complications as it was not designed to stay there forever. The "shelf life" is over so it best to do something now. I would seek out a few surgeons that work with your insurance and get an idea for which revision will work best for you. I know almost everyone favors the surgery they had, and honestly, I'm no different. But you need to carefully choose based on what lifestyle and restrictions you can live with. Personally, I wanted to keep my pyloric valve and I wasn't comfortable with RnY intestinal rerouting, but that is me.

I am going to be 40 in June & have a daughter that will be 3 March. I started the process for RNY in Jan/11. For the first 18 months I was very terrified of dying on the table & not being here for her & the rest of my family (3 older kids & my husband****pt telling myself it wasn't worth the risk. However, My life now is not really living. I am in constant pain (joints/back), I am exhausted all the time, can't play with my youngest the way I want to, have no interest in anything. The reason my journey has been so long is due to a delay b/c I got lungs clots in June/11 from the BC pill. After all of this, I have decided that I am so unhappy & miserable, and the fact as I get older, I am increasing my chances for stroke, heart attack, high BP, etc., I decided to go for it! I have so much I want to do & can't right now. I believe that I will be okay with the surgery & come out ready to start my new life with much anticipation!

It is a decision that you need to come to on your own & be comfortable with though, so be sure to take your time deciding. I know it took me 18 months :)