Tell me what you think...

I just put it out there and told everyone!  I spoke with the owner of my company at the time in person.  I told my co-workers, friends and family about my thoughtful decision. I told them my reasons and my goals.  And I shared that their support was very important to me.

I never wanted anyone to think I was sick - and that's the first thing most people think of when they see someone who's losing weight (after having been out work).  I experienced that one day with people from my IT department.  Apparently I never got around to telling them and they didn't mention anything to me because they DID think I was sick!  I felt so badly about that. 

Being honest and open with my plan allowed people the freedom to be encouraging and complimentary - and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Still today - 5 1/2 years later if someone says something about the way I eat - or my food choices - I am extremely proud to share my WLS story with them.

I just want to say you go girl! For wanting a change in your life and be healthy! I have not had the surgery yet so I have all the questions and concerns that you do. What I say to other "nosey" people that want to know how you lost the weight..."To hell with them!". You did this for YOU not for anyone else, and you need to remember that. And because you did it for you, you are not expected or obliged to tell anyone anything. 

My idea was just to give them a stupid answer if they ask.. like.."Oh I dont know what happened.. one morning I just woke up skinny!" This will show them that you do not want to share how you did it... and most likely a stupid answer will give them the hint to back off! 

I, myself have told my close family members and my spouse that I am getting the surgery but other than that nobody else needs to know. :) 

 

Hope that helps! 

 

Best wishes,

Michelle

i have grown to hate facebook.  that said, you can tell people however you want, or not tell at all. i'm a private person so i don't feel that my life is anyone else's business for the most part. 

I was so excited I told everyone, including strangers in the check-out line at Wal-Mart. (*grin*) I'm the sort of person who doesn't tolerate negativity from others, so I didn't have to worry about the horror stories people will tell you no matter what. (Ever been pregnant? If so, I'm sure you were told a bunch of pregnancy horror stories, too.)

Also, when you start losing weight rapidly, people are going to wonder why. If they already know you've had WLS, they won't be thinking you've got some serious illness or a crack habit.

Yes, some people see some sort of stigma attached to WLS---but they're usually the same people who see obesity as a character flaw rather than a complex medical issue. Screw 'em! The best way to combat the stigma of WLS is for bariatric patients to talk about it openly.

And seeing your success just might give someone else the strength to take charge of his or her health by having WLS themself. Yu could be someone's inspiration.

OK, here is what I think. There are definitely some legitimate reasons for some people to keep their surgery secret, but, for the most part, I am in favor of honesty. Yes, it's true that once you tell, you can't "un-tell", but, by the same token, once you are caught being deceptive or dishonest - you will lose trust and credibility - and, yes, telling people your weight loss is simply due to diet and exercise, while technically true, will be perceived as deceitful once your secret comes out - and chances are, it WILL come out. Remember Star Jones? Nobody ragged on her for having WLS, but she was raked over the coals for lying about it. Only you know your unique situation, and I'm sure you'll handle it in the best way for you - best of luck to you!

100% agree

 

I didn't advertise to the world but told fancy, friends and co-workers except my dad. I did tell him two days before surgery. He wouldn't have understood the procedure and would have worried so telling him at almost the last minute informed him yet he didn't have to worry himself to death.

 

I did get some concern from my manager not being negative just worry. Once we sat and talked about it and how weight had held me back in jobs (although not at that one) he understood. I knew that job would end in a few years and in addition to getting healthy I wanted an even field when interviewing for a new job. Age was already a factor since many companies look for younger, potentially longer-term employees so I felt with my experience and added self confidence I'd have a better opportunity at a new job. 

 

I can't lie with a straight face it wouldn't have been a good idea to keep this a secret. 

I don't have Facebook so that was not a problem for me. I am a cosmetologist, in a small town where everybody knows your name. And it's not a secret I'm fat, lol. In a small town, small beauty shop, you tell one you tell all, lol. My husband was the first to know I was even looking into it because he is my rock and his opinion mattered most. Then my boys, parents, sister. I didn't tell anyone else, except the two friends that have had it done 4-5 yrs ago, until I had a surgery date. Then I told my coworkers and clients. I went thru the "good for you! My aunt/cousin/sister in law had it done and feels so much better" to the "oh, well, ummm, ok" and a full body look when I stood up, lol. I fielded questions and wrong assumptions for 2 weeks until I took off for surgery.

That said, my sister was my least supportive person. Her and her husband are overweight and have jumped thru the hoops to lose it to but both are negative and would never make such a Hugh decision or lifestyle change. My sisters sister-in-law is the friend that had it done 4 yrs ago. They thought it was horrible, she ate liquid, pratically nothing, omg she looks sick and thin, etc....... Needless to say she threw every possible problem or bad outcome at me. I just fielded them with a smile and confidence. I'm 10 days post op and she's checking on me and asking questions. We live 3.5 hours apart. But everyonce in a while she will say something nice about her sil weight loss.



My greatest though was" really, I don't think you need to do that! You don't look heavy enough for that." God bless her, she's been my client turned friend for 20 years. I said " yes I do, I'm overweight and miserable and unhealthy". She texted me yesterday to see what I was eating so she could bring dinner. Told her my family would love dinner. My other good one was " you carry your weight good". Compliment or not. I chose to think so.

Bottom line with all my rambling is it's really up to you. I'm not a very secretive person, not ashamed of my decision and if sharing helps one person that's a positive. My friend shared with me, it planted the seed but took 4 yrs to grow.

Hi.  Good luck with your surgery and journey.  I have told everyone and anyone.  I've been completely open and honest and it's worked out for me.  I'm a year out (surgery-versary next week) and not a day goes by that I don't receive really positive, kind, motivating comments from co-workers and friends, and almost everyone has been incredibly supportive and understanding.  However, my husband was dead set against the surgery, as was my mother-in-law.  Here I am a year later, literally re-born and feeling that this was a miracle for me (I've lost exactly half of my body weight and weigh 116 lbs and I am full of health and energy) but my husband still thinks it was "too radical" and that I shouldn't have done it.  Too bad...I'm the one living in this head and this body and it was definitely the right decision for me.

I kept it mostly to myself and my family.  After the weight loss I told some people at work, but by that time I was over a year out and really would not have been affected by horror stories.  I knew I had made the right decision and was happy with it.

Fast forward five years, I work at a different place, run with different friends.  Those people did not know me when I was fat.  Nobody knows or guesses that I had weight loss surgery.  I am glad that it is not on Facebook for anyone to look up.  I get on the board, but don't use my picture or identifying information.  Now it is just ancient history.  I feel great, eat properly and am living a different life as a slim, healthy woman. 

Once you put something on the internet it is there forever.  You might not mind telling people now, but years from now you might be glad that you kept your business to yourself.  There is a stigma attached to the surgery and people will judge you.  They see us as too lazy to lose weight on our own.  Why put that label on yourself for the rest of your life?

I have been debating this very same thing.  Part of me thinks, I should not be ashamed of having this surgery.  There is such a stigma that goes with having it.  I have to admit I thought people were taking the "lazy way" or "easy way" out.  That was until I became educated as to what exactly is involved.  I have told several of my coworkers and my family.  I'm sure at some point I will address it on Facebook, although the only reason I want to is to educate people...  Not to look for their approval or support.   There are always going to be people that think they are experts on every topic.  I just ignore them because its usually very obvious that they are talking out their butts.  Good luck on your surgery.  I have just begun this journey so I have the six month wait and wait weightloss program to endure.