Almost four year out and struggling with binge eating...

In an effort to lose some of my winter regain, most of you know that I've gone back to watching my carbs and exercising. However, my old enemy has reared it's ugly head and it's frankly freaking me out. While I'm still maintaining at a healthy BMI, I'm afraid I've gone back to binge eating. I wrote more in depth about it here. Click here---->Lori's Blog, My Dirty Little Secret. I would love anyone's insight on this who is dealing with, or has dealt with this personally. It might be time for me to look for deeper answers to the issue. In an effort to figure out why, I've been poking around the internet, and it may be time to involve a psychiatrist to get this under control.

Lori

psychiatrists are the ones who write prescriptions for psych meds so I think you might want a psychologist for talk therapy instead & find one who deals with weight loss or addiction issues.

Thanks for your response, Zuzu.  I already have a phsychologist, and the reason I was thinking psychiatrist is because in my web searches, many reputable sites mentioned using fluxotene (sp?) to curb the binge episodes.  Talk therapy doesn't seem to be helping, so I'm considering other avenues. 

 i definitely understand what you are dealing with. i am dealing with it too. it has just started recently although i know i dealt with it daily before my ds. like you i cant possibly hold the amount of food that i could preop but the compulsivity of it is still there. i try to satify the craving by eating something healthy but then as soon as there is room in my stomach, i want the same thing i was craving in the first place. i too am hiding it from friends and family as i am afraid they will see it as me failing my surgery. the very second i get done binging, i feel guilty. i have a therapist but i havent seen her in quite a while. we have never discussed it because it just recently became an issue again. i wish you the best of luck getting this under control.

Thanks, Heidi.  Looks like we're in the same boat.  Here's to our finding the answers and moving on.

Hugs,

Lori

Lori - 
      I'm sorry you are going through this again and that the beast is back in full force.  As others have suggested, you may want to find a therapist who specializes in this eating disorder.   You may also need a psychiatrist or primary care physician to perscribe you with medications that will support your therapy efforts.  Please, please get the help you need and don't make seeking it another cause for guilt and shame.  We all need help sometimes.
    It occurs to me that since you are going through a terribly stressful time, it makes sense that your dirty little secret would escalate in force.  You are probably like many of us and food = comfort and security; going through a divorce, especially with children, can't help but make you feel uncomfortable and insecure even if it is for the best in the long run.
   Be gentle with yourself.   Know you are not alone with this demon.  You are a beautiful, amazing woman and I know that you can get this under control if you utilize the resources available to battle this personal demon.
    Kim

This sounds like a response from a loving friend or family member....thank you!  I appreciate your insight!

Lori

I'm still binge-eating too.

It's a little different than pre-op for me though.  Pre-op, I'd eat a bunch of unhealthy stuff but just didn't care, I was already fat, what are a few thousand more calories.  It seems like post-op, I try to manipulate my DS by overeating and going out of control on fatty high protein stuff. 

And pre-op I used to do ice cream binges.  Post-op, I go through the trouble of making a sugar free, high fat version that just sliiides on through, no matter how much I eat.  I don't know if this is better or worse than what I did pre op.  I still get the overly full feeling, but don't have the "punishment" of gaining weight.

Sometimes I will get those crazy instances where I can't even say no to the unhealthy stuff.  I still remember the easter candy binge last year.  My parents actually sent me an adorable easter basket in the mail last year...tons of candy (they assumed I'd take it to work and share-ha).  I ate like 30 pieces right after opening it.  Just gobbled it all up!  And felt awwwwful afterwards.

And I can't buy cookies because I have no ability to just eat 2 or 3.  It's no cookies or 10 cookies.

I obviously have no advice, just know I'm supporting you.  Thanks for sharing.

Yup, you get what I'm talking about.  When I get all binge-y, I'll try eating high fat and high protein.  But even when totally full of that, I'll STILL search out the crapola I was originally craving.  It's very primal, and as far as what I can see, at time unstoppable.  I'm going to get through this, but the loss of control is totally freaking me out!  Thanks for letting me know i"m not alone!!!

Count me in!  Now instead of binging every day I'll dedicate one day to **** eating and consume chocolate and crisps and cake in banana belly filling proportions.  I'll use it to self nurture and comfort myself but know that tomorrow I need to ACTUALLY nurture myself with DS food. 

I know that I've little or no hope of a future free of food addiction this way I get to keep it on a leash and maintain the form I now have courtesy of my wonderful DS.  I have a choice of feeling like crap about it or accepting that this a the best compromise I can make for myself and live free from shame.  I'm working hard at accepting the latter.

I hope you too can find a middle ground.  As vast tracts of what we know as our reality are swept away by life changes we need to fund a future for ourselves free from the blockages towards right action.  Maybe this is our battle to fight.  There are worse ones!  Be brave and bold.