Falling apart

I haven't been on here in quite sometime...life has been crazy for me and continues to.  I've lost me again in everything else that's going on.  Sadly because of that I find myself making poor choices and not taking care of myself.  I feel like I need a break from everything and everybody.  Yet my DH just had WLS surgery and my daughter is not old enough to care for herself...the house needs to be packed for our up coming move and I must work to keep a roof over our heads...

For those of you in similar crazy lives, what do you do to carve out that time for you?  I have spent the better part of the night cooking so I have better food choices, but now I'm tired.  It's 11:30 and I need to go put money in the bank, finish the laundry, pack clothes and prepare for morning.  Let's not forget that for the 3rd week I will not be colouring my hair, grooming my eyebrows or painting my nails.  Which to most seems like no big deal except I'm a cosmetic manager so it's starting to look bad on my part.

Thanks for letting me vent.

sorry you are feeling out of control ... breath... take a break go colour your hair do your nails etc... one chore can wait a few minutes while you do those things...it will get better.

Sounds weird, but 1/2 hour in a hot bath feels like a vacation to me. Also, sleep is the most important thing, with energy you can prioritize better and maybe see what can be delayed, deferred or delegated.

 Is there any way to delegate/ask for help?  I know wanting to do it all myself is one of my weaknesses. Are there kids/family/friends who can help?  Maybe 3 friends for a couple of hours can pack up a room?  It may not be perfect, but is good enough.  Maybe someone would be willing to cook up a couple of meals to put in your freezer for days when good food choices are harder. Maybe your husband can't do the packing yet but could do the grocery shopping or cooking? One of the things that got me to the point of WLS was thinking I had to be superwoman all the time, always putting myself last and everyone else's needs first.  It is hard to undo this lifetime of learned behavior. Sit down and force yourself to come up with a plan that will take SOME of the stress off you...even if it means something doesn't get done or done well.

When times get tough I remind myself that WLS life is forever, there is never a good time to start taking care of myself, only NOW.  We have to find a way to make it work for the tough times and easier times or we will fail...tough times are just a reality of life.

I am sorry for all the stress you are under but applaud you for finding the time and inclination for coming on here and reaching out.  That shows commitment and a desire to work on the tou stuff.

Good luck with everything.

Andrea. 

 Losing ourselves to other's requirements is how many of us end up needing wls in the first place imo.  Its easy for many of us to do so, so asking for such advice here is kind of like asking a bunch of alcoholics how to stop drinking!  But lots of us do!  

I started getting up a little earlier each day to do the me stuff I want to do.  It works for me, though I resent the lost sleep, the resentment is better than not finding time for me.  

Folks judge us every day.  Make sure they're going to look at you and think, "hell yeah I'm going to take cosmetic/hair care advice from this Babe"!  LOL  Easy to say harder to do. Take care, be well! Get the hair and nails done today!   Regards, Ian

It's still summer.  Do you know a teen or pre-teen in the neighbourhood who you could hire for $5 an hour to help look after your daughter so you can catch up ?   Seems like an extra expense that you shouldn't have to afford but you are doing it all yourself if your husband just had wls too.

I call it a Mommy Helper .. aka Sanity Provider.  

Good luck and just do what you can.  I really believe sleep is a huge factor in our head issues too.  So if you can, get more sleep and leave the toys on the floor and the laundry unfolded.  

One day at a time :) 
 

I'm sorry you have such a stressful and busy time right now. I hope it all soon settles down for you.

I know you must be tired from staying up so late cooking, but it will save you a lot of thought later, and helps you to make wise choices. So that is awesome of you!!

Hang on, it will get better. xoo

I feel as though you are echoing some of my life. I too am in the process of a move and finding it hard to figure out what to eat.
I hope your hubby heals well from his surgery.
It is tough when we are going through life changes. I know for me there are so many happening at once and it gets overwhelming.
Keep sharing, I know it has made a difference for me to share the real me on here.
HUGS
PS Get some sleep, that makes a lot of difference.

I hope you feel better soon!  As for cooking I can say is I REALLY hate cooking!!!   Before surgery i did anything i could to avoid it.  Now I have no choice, as most outside food could make me sick so, (and I started this before surgery) I make extra (like enough for a couple of meals) food (the mains: meat and carb as veggies are easy to steam) and you can just keep the extra in the fridge to eat in a couple of days or freeze in for the days that you are sick or tired to cook.  It sounds like you need more time, so doing this will save you plenty of time at least from cooking!

Things get busy when you have to move, but as you get settled in to the new place, things will settle down and you will have more time for yourself. 

As for laundry, use towels more than once, same for clothes if they are not stained you can wear them more than once too, same for your daughter.  You will save a ton of time when you don't just wear/use something once and than wash.  I do!

Good luck with your move!

Melissa!

 I am with Ian, ditto what he said !!!  I used to be a beautician so I know the feelings of not only wanting but needing to do your hair and nails for the "image". I force myself to make time for a pedi every 6 weeks or so. So, like others said, the chores need to be done, but pushing them off for 30 mins wont hurt. Color your hair and while it processes, do something else like paint your nails. I am a clean freak also and cant sit still till the cleaning is done. But lets face it, if you dont make time for yourself, you will burn out, and feel worse. So........take some tie for you. You deserve it !!!