Starting to get depressed.....

Hi everyone.  I had rny gastric bypas surgery in October 09.  To date I have lost 120lbs.  I just recently found out that I am about pregnant.  I have been going back and forth with my emotions about the whole thing.  I feel happy and blessed to be pregnant.  This will be my first but I feel sad and disappointed because I am not at my goal weight quite yet.  I still have 60 pounds to lose.  I just feel ashamed like I should have gotten to my goal before getting pregnant.  I am still watching what I eat and I am trying to exercise as well but I find myself so exhausted most days.  Everyone keeps telling me that it will get better and my energy will return and I am confident that it will return.  But how do I regain the confidence in myself.  It seems like everyday that goes by I feel like I am back tracking.  I guess the fact that I am not at my goal weight doesn't help.  Please don't misunderstand, I am happy to be pregnant.  I am just emotional and scared that I will gain all the weight back and feel like a total failure.  I usualyy never post to the forums but today I just want to scream because I am tired of crying.  It seems like no one around me understands because they have never walked in my shoes as a heavy person and went through the challenges that I had to endure to get where I am today.  Somebody tell me that I am not totally insane to feel this way!!!

Hey! Welcome. Congratulations!

One of many great things about this board is that we ALL understand your struggles. It may seem discouraging that youre not at goal and pregnant but consider that you have about 8 more months to nourish, provide for and protect this miracle in womb then you can go right back to getting to goal. And you will!

Hey Miss D!  Welcome and Congrats!  Hello!!! You've released 120 lbs!!!  You rock, girl!  When is the last time you lost 120 lbs?  OK... you have 60 more to go, but you are 2/3 there! Did you know that bariatric surgeons consider a patient "successful" if they lose at least 50% of their excess body fat.  You've lost 67% of your excess body fat.  You're medically considered a "successful weight loss surgery patient!" 

And now you have a magnificent miracle growing inside of you.  Many women who are pg after WLS who have not reached their goal and are still losing weight continue to drop lbs during their pregnancy.  Yes there will be some weight gain.  But that's all very good weight that you will be gaining... it's for the baby.  Most women drop the baby weight pretty quickly after having their baby.  Breast feeding really burns a boat load of calories so that will help too.

The emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy is wild.  And to top it off your body is the recipient of a "creative digestive system" and that in and of itself comes with a shload of emotions as well.  So put those together and BAM... welcome to PG after WLS!  So glad you chose to post here today.  Stay... read... comment... and remember that you are not alone.  This board is filled with a wonderful sisterhood where we all truly get it.

I was not at my goal weight when I became pregnant and we were TRYING. I was at a healthy weight and everything about my body showed it was ready. So here I am 8 months pregnant. I have only gained about 20lbs in almost 32 weeks. It's all belly also. Don't get discouraged! Focus on the little miracle you're going to grow and help for the next 9 months! After that you can focus on getting to your goal weight. I have lots of plans to get to my goal weight after the baby is here! I fully believe that we are both capable of that! Just relax and enjoy your pregnancy! Congrats and good luck!

 I totally understand your fears.  I was almost a year out when I found out I was pregnant.  I had lost 130lbs and about 50lbs from my goal.  I was nervous that I would undo all the work I just put in.  My bariatric surgeon told me that this was not a time to diet and I haven't.  However, I have used the tools I picked up during my journey to make this a very healthy pregnancy.  

Do I get craving for things I know are bad? Yes.  Do I indulge? At times, yes. Have I been able to work out like I used to? No.  But I use my protein/carbs/starch method every time I eat.  I'm not weighing myself at all; my OB keeps track of it.  No complaints to my weight gain;  I think I've gained 12lbs.  

It is a difficult journey at times, but I keep reminding myself that the baby needs me.  Sometimes the baby needs sour cream and onion potato chips.  As long as it's in moderation, I'm cool.  

YOU ARE NOT INSANE!!!    Just roll with it.  You can get right back on the bandwagon after the baby is here.

Congratulations!!

 "Sometimes the baby needs sour cream and onion potato chips.  As long as it's in moderation, I'm cool.  "

LOL I so agree!!!!

My husband laughed at me when I first said the baby NEEDS something.  I told him when he has a baby, he can counter my argument.  Haven't heard a peep from him since!  lol

I want to ditto the congrats on the weightloss.  That is by far from a failure!

Yes and i think we all have the fear that we will not be able to get back on track after having to feed our little bundles of joy for 9months.  But you have something now you didn't have before surgery.. your tool and your support group.

Hugs to you

I feel your pain! I felt like Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde the entire pregnancy. I lost 140lbs and was at goal when we tried and got pregnant. I had been at goal for a while so I knew what it took for my body to maintain that weight. When I got pregnant I learned I had to eat another 300 calories a day. My first reaction was "ok, this is doable'. Then I realized I'd have to increase my carbs to get that in....doable still, but scary. Then I had to eat healthy snacks a few times a day to get all that in...still doable. Scary as hell though! Part of me wanted to ignore the rules so I wouldn't gain an ounce but the logic in me knew that wasn't an option. For 6 years I have been eating WLS style and here I am supposed to consume more calories, eat more often and add carbs? Whoa!
 
Let me say that everyday is a NEW day and one more day you have to succeed. That's the beauty of being in control of our eating. Maybe today wasn't a good day for me, but I still have tomorrow. You only have a total of 280 days to make a healthy baby.... after that your body is back to being yours alone. You will have a world of tomorrows to get where you want your body to be....but for today enjoy the moment. 

Thank you everyone for the supporting words!  I woke up this morning feeling very very low.  I now realize that I need to enjoy my pregnancy while taking care of myself at the same time.  My stomach is still very restricted so I am finding that I have to eat every couple of hours to get in enough food for baby and I.  I guess I have just been letting the ugly thoughts in my head get to me and get me discouraged!  I am sooo happy about being pregnant because there for a while I thought my body was broken.  I cherish everyday that I have a life growing inside me.  There are so many women that would give it all to be where I am today and I am truly thankful.  I now see that I need to turn to OH when I am feeling different things about being pregnant after weight loss surgery because truly, you women are the only ones that can genuinely relate to how I am feeling!!!  Once again, that you for the encouraging words.  I am now making it my mission to be more active on this board.