I'm Going To Relax a Bit

Up to this point I have been pretty strict with myself as far as weighing and measuring out my food portions.  With the exception of when I go out to eat everything I eat is measured out.  That isn't a problem to me.  I have been a compulsive over eater for so long that I have no clue as to what appropriate portions are.  Even in the past when I have lost weight and kept it off I still would eat big portions, only of low calorie things like salads and vegetables.  I believe that I am addicted to refined carbs and large amounts.  I would always have the fear going in to a meal that I wouldn't get enough.  What enough means I have no idea.  Maybe I was afraid I would still be hungry.  I would eat to the point of discomfort and then I felt that I had enough.
So part of the learning process for me is knowing that I can be satisfied by a small amount of food.  .That has never happened to me in my life.  Every time I would measure out my 1/2 cup of food I would be thinking to myself "That will never be enough." and I would be surprised to find out it was.
So now I am entering into my maintenance phase and I don't want to be weighing and measuring out my food for the rest of my life.  After 8 months I should know what a reasonable portion looks like.  So I am putting down the measuring cups and scale and seeing what happens.  I started last night.  I decided to try and make cauliflower lasagna and instead of measuring out the ingredients I just eyeballed it.  I used a small baking dish and I figured that should make about 4 "RNY" size portions.  After it baked I cut out a fourth of it and had it.  I didn't weigh it and I have no idea how many calories are in it.  I am going to let up on my control.
I need to figure out comfortable way of eating that I can live with for the long run.  I just don't see weighing and measuring and knowing the calorie could of every bite that goes into my mouth is a realistic lifestyle for me. 
Drawing from my past experiences from the periods of my life where I did maintain a normal weight I didn't weigh or measure what I ate.  I had a rough idea of how many calories I ate but not the exact number.  The only real rigid rules I followed was to eat 3 meals a day, no snacking and nothing with sugar or wheat in it.  Doing that I was able to stay at a normal weight for about a year or so.  And every time I did regain it was because I decided I could start eating refined carbs "moderately".  That was an experiment that never worked no matter how many times I tried and I hope I never have to try that again.

Good for you! Of course I don't have your failed WLS experience, but this is where I've been since I hit maintenance (at 12 months, 40 pounds more than I weigh now, when I thought I was done losing)..... I decided to just see hwo it went. I do weigh frequently (daily in spring, summer, fall, less frequently when it's cold out!) and if I start to regain, I told myself, then I can re-evaluate my success/failure and start to Do Something About It. But so far I've been stairstepping down, so I know that I'm okay, at least for the moment.

I think that learning how to just LIVE your life is a key step in the process. Don't pitch the scale or the measuring cups, you might need to use them again, but it's like that first bike ride without training wheels, when dad let go the bike, and you realized that you CAN ride a bike (and hopefully didn't get lost on that first bike ride like I did)

I think that my experience with my first WLS really affected me emotionally.  I really thought I had solved my obesity and I would never be fat again.  After all, didn't everyone that had the surgery I had keep the weight off?  That is what I thought.  I knew there was regain but it was usually a small amount.  I got down to 120 lbs so I didn't mind if I regained 15 or 20 lbs.  I don't think I ever weighed or measured a thing with my first WLS so maybe that is why I got so anal about it.
I know that in my past I was able to lose a large amount of weight and keep it off for a time without ever weighing or measuring anything.  I don't even think I weighed myself that often.  I remember weighing like 118 lbs when I was in my early 30s and every time I got on a scale it said the exact same thing and I never really felt like I was on a diet.  I just didn't eat between meals and I didn't eat sugar or wheat products.  Couldn't have been easier.  Why do I have to make it so difficult now?

"paranoia, big destroyer"

We have to do what it takes to get there.

In maintenance, I also don't weigh/measure everything.

However, I do weigh myself EVERY DAY. When I start to see a regain, that is when I start weighing/measuring and tracking (on a site like sparkpeople).

It has kept me at goal (pretty much) for almost 9 years.

Thanks for the advice.  I think it is a good idea.  I know that with all my regains I stopped weighing myself entirely because I knew what I was going to see and it wouldn't be pretty.  I think weighing myself daily will keep me accountable.