Anyone tired of all the comments??

Hi everyone!!  I've never posted on here but read through posts often and OH has been very helpful through my journey! 

On to the issue at hand....all the comments.

Don't get me wrong I love hearing all the compliments on how great I'm looking.  But what is up with all the people telling me that I am "fading away" or "you better not lose anymore" or " well how much more are you going to lose?".  Now keep in mind I am only 3 months out!  Yes I feel great but I am far from where I want to be at 183 pounds.  Why do people feel the need to make comments like that?  I don't get it.

Jen

I get that too. I still have a good 35-40 pounds to lose and plenty of stomach and thigh. I am by no means wasting away - I still look Amazonian!!!

I think people are generally well meaning for the most part....they are used to seeing you a certain way and maybe it unsettles them a little to see someone changing so rapidly.

 Hi Jen! 
Welcome to the forum! The thing about those comments... a lot of people were comfortable with you at the weight you were at, so there may be some jealousy involved, and also, our weight loss is so fast, it surprises people. Because most anyone else that loses weight, it is a slower process that isn't so drastic. 

So what can you do? There's not a whole lot. You know you are not anorexic or even headed that direction, and your goal is a lot lower, so just ignore it completely. 

Sorry that you have to deal with this!

Steph

In the pre-WLS days, anyone losing weight that fast had cancer or something like it. So the culture considered it to be a bad thing. Our society has not caught up with the reality of WLS yet. So they use the old tried and true things to say.

Hello Jen,

I wouldn't take it to seriously. Its hard for anyone to understand WLS and the process if they haven't gone through it themselves. I have 2 younger sisters, not that much younger, who I am now seeing signs of emotions attached to my weight. I have always been the heaviest of the three for most of mine and their lives.  Now that I have lost 50 lbs. I see a bit of panic in their eyes. They were always thinner in their youth and never had anything close to weight issues growing up. My one sister gave  me some clothes that didn't fit her anymore and when she saw me wearing the pants she use to wear I got this instruction. " I hope you know not to tell anyone how much you weigh when we are the same weight cause those are my old pants then they will know how much I weigh." I told her not to worry I wouldn't do that to her. And my other sister when I told her I was down 50 lbs, her jaw dropped and she was in shock. Both are panicking that I may for the first time in my life be the skinny one and they will be the ones who everyone says " Oh what lovely daughters you have and what a pretty face your oldest girl has." I know they love me but I also know they are human and my change will mean they must change and for the first time have to look at themselves in a realistic way and see they to have weight issues that need address. Good thing I have been there and done that so I can help them through this journey so we all come out ahead and happier for it.

Margo, you sound just like me!  I too am the oldest of 3 girls...Always the heaviest, always the one who is "so pretty in the face."  Both my sisters have gone through life, and now in their 30s, find that they are heavier.  My middle sister just had her third child.  She has made little comments about how she is now the "fat" one, etc. etc.  I have told her she earned those hips, she has carried three beautiful children with those hips.  Mind you she probably is as heavy as 145 pounds, but for someone who always was under 120, to her that is fat.  This sister has a very hard time discussing my weight loss with me.  She will send me cards and notes saying she is proud of my progress and I'm "looking good," but face to face she never discusses it.  My youngest sister has been through some really tough times in the last couple years and the stress of life has caused her to gain more than a couple pounds.  She has openly congratulated me on my weight loss and has given me all the clothes she can no longer fit into.  One day a few weeks ago, she said to me, I don't understand why everyone is so concerned about my weight.  I don't care.  I'm fat, I'm fine with that.  She probably weights 180 pounds.

I think it is funny how those close to you respond to your weight loss.  I could never have imagined that my sisters would respond in a manner of being so self-conscious of their own weight.  I love both my sisters and think they are beautiful just the way they are.  If their weight posed a risk to their health (as mind was quickly doing) I would want them to pay attention and try to stay ahead of it.  However, neither one of them is what I would describe as obese.  It's funny, when I was looking at 300 pounds I used to feel badly when I learned someone I knew was anoerexic or bulemic because I knew they were doing that because they did not want to end up like me.  Now that I am losing weight, I feel bad because my sister's are hard on themselves because of the fear of what it would feel like to be me.

Thanks you guys for putting things into a different perspective!! I think a lot of it is jealousy. And it is usually from the skinny ones LOL. So I will smile and ignore

Yes - I do get tired of comments - mainly I think, because I don't like attention drawn to me.  It makes me feel uncomfortable.  And yes, I too think it's weird to get the "wasting away" comments, when I too, am still not thin, but overweight.  I think it's the comparison - me morbidly obese a year ago and just overweight now - sometimes, I think people just don't know what to say, so they use a clique' for lack of something better to say to express their notice of my weight loss.

Sometimes I begin to think of myself "always complaining about something"  Ha!    I bet I would really be complaining if no one noticed.

I found that comments were different from men than from women.

Women would pull me aside and say, "OK, so what are you doing?"

Men didn't know what to say without possibly being offensive or forward. So they tended to say, "Hey you're gonna blow away in the next strong wind."

My reply was to laugh it off and say, "Well, no immediate danger of THAT!!!"

 I've been asked if I was sick, if I was anorexic, was I done losing, etc.  More people comment on my weight now then when I was heavy.  I have even been asked what I weigh.  No one asked what I weiged before.  I guess it comes with the territory.  I'm over it.  I don't want to talk about my body any more then anyone else does.  How's the weather?