I've Had An Epiphany !!

Ever since I let my friends and family know about my RNY, I've always joked that no matter how much weight I lost, I'd always think of myself as a fat guy.  I've lived as an overweight person for my entire 43 years on this planet, and to be honest, I was very happy being overweight until the health issues started.  So every time I'd be in a social situation post-op, I'd stick to my guns and say that I'd always be a fat guy, even if I'm trapped in a normal sized body.

Well today I've had an epiphany.  I've realized that I'm sabotaging my future success.  If I continue to consider myself a "fat guy", then my mindset will never have the opportunity to change, and eventually I'll start falling back into the same old "fat guy" habits.  Effective immediately, I am ditching the fat guy mentality and adopting a new "normal sized guy" mentality.  The way I see it, I'll need all the help I can get in the following years, so might as well try to change my mindset early out.

Thanks for listening! 

Old mindsets about ourselves are hard to shake and for those of us who have never been a normal weight, it is hard to see-even when we look at ourselves in the mirror.  I am glad you are changing your mindset.  You deserve to see/think of yourself as physically healthy as well as feeling physically heathly.  We are on the road together and I am sure we will "bump" into each other along the way of viewing ourselves differently.   

Your epiphany is a very good one.  I am learning that the more positive we think the more positive we feel.  So toss the fat guy mentality out the window and think of yourself as just being you.  I bet you just did not know how it was going to feel in a "normal" size body so you THOUGHT I am always gonna be a fat guy.  Guess what that all changed didn't it?  Good for you and just move onward and upward. Congrats and keep up the great work. 

You are absolutely right. Our self talk definitely can shape our future success. If I think I'm lazy, I'm likely to act lazy. If I think I can't do it, I'm likely not to do it. If I think I'm the fat guy--guess what? So I think trying to distance yourself from the fat guy mentality is critical to your long-term success. I think it would be better if you thought of yourself as the "fun guy" (not to be confused with funghi!) because you clearly are a fun guy and will be no matter your size.

We have enough negative messages thrown at us by society, we surely don't need them from ourselves. I'm proud of you for telling the voices in your head to shut the hell up!!

I wish you continued personal growth emotionally as you travel down your new life path.

Best to you!

Denise

Good epiphany.  Even at three plus years I still hear the "fat guy" from time to time.

You know there is a Men's board here on OH, right?

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/

It was extremely important you came to that realization.  You're right.  We all have to reframe our concepts about a lot of things about ourself.  Congratulations on your success.

I believe what you are talking about is called a "self-fulfilling prophecy." And I can completely understand where you are coming from. Sometimes I think the mind thing is the hardest to get around. When I've lost weight before, I always felt like a barrier was coming down and it was making me more vulnerable to the world. So I would stop losing. That's probably a female thing, not a guy thing - but it shows how important our mind set and thoughts about ourselves are.
I wish you good luck with your journey - you have already been so successful!
Kristina

I love that you posted this and have to thank you....I am the girl who says ...I will always be a fat girl at heart--- I never looked at it as something that could affect me but I do now.Thank you tons....I am going to stop saying that as well. Its so hard but I wanna be this skinny girl at heart now.......shes alot cooler:)

You're welcome!

For what it's worth, just by wanting to think of yourself as that skinny girl, you've already taken the first step towards getting there.  That first step is always the hardest, and once past it, what's left is a journey of growth and self-realization.  Good luck.

Thanks for the reminder JerseyJim!  People at work tell me often that I'm getting skinny or "look at the new girl" etc.  My mouth has learned to smile and say "thanks" but my head still argues and thinks of the weight I still have to lose and how awful I look without the body shaper...blah, blah, blah.  I had my own epiphany and realized that it's time I looked at myself the way others do.  They apparently see a prettier picture than I've been letting myself see, so I took off the "fat" glasses and darn......I'm not half bad!  We be skinny folk!