Yesterday was my one year surgiversary. It is hard to believe that it has come and gone so quickly. I am not sure how to put into words how I have felt thru this past yr....wish Nikki could write it for me....It has been the best and worst yr of my life. 

The best: I am healthy and happy truly happy for the first time in my life. No hiding behind the fat and saying I am happy while dying inside. I can keep up with my 4 kids and most days out do them now...which with my kids is something trust me. James (hubby) and I are at am amazing place in our life together. We go out and have date nights again as I am proud to be on his arm. Even tho he was proud to have me there before I never felt I deserved to be there. Food is no my friend or foe it just is which is a big one trust me. 


the worst: I had to find myself.  that was the hard ugly part of this journey. One I work on everyday and will for the rest of my life. I used food to hide behind because when I was fat no one noticed me so therefore they could not hurt me. Which is what I endured as a child... hurt...When you blend in no one sees you...it is safe...but so lonely. Now I have to deal with being seen and as stupid as it sounds that scares the **** outta me...I still have the I am ugly/fat/unworthy of compliments and love thing going on in my head some days. I am working on it but damn its hard when you can not use food to hide with. Now I talk about what I feel and what I need with those close enough to me. It is so much better then food.

So now I am on to the mysterious hard part...maintaining...loosing the weight with my RNY was the easy part...the maintaining part is the unknown...the scary part...but with support from my gang and here I am hopeful that I will do well. 


Now here is my shout-out to the vets on this board...Nik****lly, Lora, LL, MM...as well as Tori, Nicole, Lisa R...thanks for all the support knowledge and help you all have given me over the last yr...I could not have done this without you. You all hold a special place in my heart and always will.

Congrats... My year is coming up on Friday... I can  completely relate with everything you said... finding me has been a fun but oh so complicated task and is still in progress... I am glad you have a great support system and are truly happy... Life is amazing but short so being happy is key... Glad you have your happy :)

Happy surgiversary, Cheryl!

       Glad you worked through your issues.      Happy surgiversary!          

sometimes finding yourself is re-creating yourself , it would almost be easier to move to a new city and make new friends because then they would only know the new you.
I lost 160 on my own and kept it off for several years before my band and I became an antique dealer and had a whole new set of people I met and they only knew me thin...it was fun and weird. Of course I kept my small group of real friends. Now here I am ready for bypass ...what will happen next?? time will tell. ( I still have my real friends for over 35 years)
We REALLY do change when we loose weight , I have seen it with myself and my 2 bypassed daughters , we don't think we change all that much , but we do.
So happy to hear that your husband and you are doing great , you need to for those kiddo's. One of my twins got divorced 4 years after bypass , her husband could not deal with a confident wife who said what she wanted even though when she was fat he would tease (abuse) her.
Life is a process and I am happy to see that you are finding your way , it sounds like you have a sure footing. I wish you and your family the very best.

 Thanks everyone...

Congrats on your anniversary and all of your hard work!  You've done an awesome job! 

 Awww, Cheryl, happy surgiversary!!!! 

I feel ya on the work part..... here we go, the rest of our lives.... woo hoo???
Always take pride on the fact that you've done fantastic & worked hard to get this far. In working on the self-esteem part, make a goal to see the value in yourself thru each facet of your journey in life. You are worthy & loved!!!!!

You are fantastic, Cheryl... you have had such great success and I think you can attribute it all to your attitude.  You focused and did what you had to do... and along with the good (lordy, you look sensational!!), comes the inevitable bad, having to deal with the demons.

Keep fighting the fight... self-acceptance takes time and my hope for you is that every day you look in the mirror and see the beautiful, giving woman who is looking back and you and acknowlege that SHE IS YOU, and you are worthy of all the love and success and happiness in your life.  I know that WE certainly all 'see' her....

I'll be here, watching your progress for year two!  Here's to your anniversary... CHEERS!   ;)


tori

 

thank you so much Tori...my wish is to be as successful in this journey as you have been...