This post is definitely not meant to discourage anyone from having surgery. I do want to make a point on a certain topic though. Food.
People become overweight for many reasons. Health, meds, and yes overeating for a variety of reasons.
I loved and had a wonderful relationship with food. The only thing is it made me be 405 lbs. Now as sick as it maybe, it made me happy when I was eating, preparing, buying, etc.
I knew I had to have this surgery if I was going to live past 50 yrs old. As much as I loved my relationship with food I knew that life without it was better than having a short life with mobility problems. I researched, read and thought I was prepared for the mental crap that comes along with the surgery. I was not. I can not believe how much I miss the act of eating. The flavors of food. The combinations of flavors. The satisfaction of eating a good meal. Sitting down at the table and smelling and tasting. Sick but true. I miss it like I would a close relative or friend dying.
Now I don't regret having my surgery 90 percent of the time. I am a week and a half or so shy of 5 months and have lost 143 lbs. My life is very different. I am on most days liking what I see in the mirror. I am going to a tanning bed, getting pedicures and having my hair done. All things I would never have done for myself before. But always in the back of my mind I have this lost feeling.
I truly recommend to all of you who love food and have a unnatural relationship like I did and I guess still do, to seek counseling. I thought I had done my homework and was ready. Don't fool yourself. When I first had the surgery I was mad all the time for a long time because I couldn't eat. Then I went numb and sad. All over food. I still am just kinda numb most of the time. It is very had to replace it.
I know some of the hard liners on here will probably say work out more, and things like that. It does help, but the reality is people get fat for different reasons. Someone who did not have the relationship with food that some of us do wouldn't be able to understand. I am talking to those willing to admit their food addiction. Get counseling now to help deal with your emotions. Its real and it wont just go away.
For those of you who say you still eat what are you talking about. Taking a couple of bits of food maybe 4 at the most is not a full act of eating a meal. It is a snack not a meal. I am talking about the act and fulfillment of eating a meal. You dont get satifacation from a couple of bits. Your are just getting started and before you really get the flavor its over. If you didnt have a food addiction you will not understand.
My point is that no one really wants to admit that they have a problem. I would have told you that I was fat for a number of reasons besides being a food addict. It took the surgery to really show me how much of an addict I was. I lied to myself like anyone addicted to anything does. You would have never made me believe that the only reason I was fat was because I over ate.I lied to myself about how much I ate. I would have told you I dont eat that much. It took the surgery to make me face the truth. It took the surgery to open my eyes and look inside.
Again my big point is get help for the mental stuff. This forum is great but you need more than this forum if you are a true addict.

"Mental stuff" can be a root issue for a lot of people becoming obese. Some life trauma many years ago can cause people to seek comfort in food.  You may or may not realize this as a reason.  Abusive childhood expereinces, spousal abuse, childhood molestation, rape, etc. can be life changing issues that cause you to rely on food to excess.  If you think you have these issues, I'd highly suggest you discuss these issues with professional counseling.  Unless these issues are addressed as a preop, you may have more difficulties post op with less than optimum results from surgery.  Many post ops develop depression post op, which is another reason to seek resolution to issues pre op. THEN, there is the potential for a possible cross addiction to alcohol, retail therapy, drug abuse, etc. once you've lost wt and still have these dep seated issues.  Self image issues can arise post op too, and many cannot see their new thinner body, but continue to see "the old" version of their body in a mirror.  I know several members in my support groups who developed cross addictions to alcohol, or who had self image issues. All of these people tell these groups how beneficial professional counseling has been to them.  Good post. DAVE

 I have to say CONGRATS on making the change and losing so much weight!  I agree that those that have a addiction to food should seek counseling and I think hearing it from someone that has the same struggles will help those that have the same issues seek help. 

Thanks for sharing your story and keep up the good work! 

Thanks for sharing this story...you are so right people with food addictions will deny it until the cows come home. Just like any addiction you have to want to change it.

I have had virtually no problems with my surgery. I have lost about 115 lbs in the last 10 months. Mostly its been emotional for me most of the time. I have worried if i am eating to much or not enough or why am i eating more at this stage or less at this stage then everyone else. blah blah blah.... i can eat candy...i can eat anything (accept i don't eat deepfried and greasy foods at all). And i wish some of this stuff bothered me. So now my work is cut out for me. Because I CAN eat sugars my candy problems from the past (which i didn't know i had) are now coming to the surface. I have to literally be aware constantly of the sugars i put into my body. Mind you i can't eat a whole bunch and have been tracking my calories. surprisingly i only eat around 1200 calories or less a day. Seems like i am always snacking and grazing and i need to be aware of that but the flip side of the coin..i am grazing on grapes...and fruits not macaroni and cheese or sandwiches or candy bars or coke classics anymore. But see thats the emotional part for me. Luckily i know i am eating the RIGHT foods and i am tracking so i know how much as far as calories and proteins i am getting in. But i have to always always be aware of what i put into my mouth. Even though my pouch is small and not able to hold the normal amt. most people can eat putting the right things in there (protein, vegies, fruits vs. pastas, snack crackers, candy) is important and if this surgery has taught me nothing else its to always be aware of what i put into my body and to always be aware of things that can lead me to a pattern of slipping back into my old ways.
Please don't hesitate to get the counseling needed if things get out of hand and you can't handle them...this surgery is awesome and i don't regret a second of it but it does or should make you aware of the problems hidden at the surface and now is the time to deal with those....

I agree with you completely. I don't think many of us who are addicted, and many here will tell you over eating is not an addiction, but I have been addicted to drugs, booze and cigarettes and my love of food was no different than the other things I was addicted to and got over.

Yes many of us love to shop, prepare, smell, and look at the food they are going to eat. I get 4oz and my surgeon says I can have way up to 6 to 8oz someday. Whoopy Doo. That would have just been a bite in the past. I used to have a large formal plate of food on any excuse for a feast in the past. I would take that very large plate and heap it with food, sometimes falling off the edges. And then go in for seconds or thirds. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, Anniversaries, 4^th of July, and god knows how many special times I just had to eat like that.

The physiological toll on each person, must be very carefully considered, and to be honest I feel many have not had sufficient preparation in this area. Look how many are looking for substitutes for goodies? We can't even forsake things that are obviously trigger foods for us. Can't stay out of fast food. Can't get over cravings for things that got us where we are today. Resent the fact that others can eat things we love and feel life is not fair. Get over it!!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I do not regret my surgery and I have been successful and I am still learning what I can and can not do. But I take this very seriously. I have done it all way to many times. I fallow what my surgeon and NUT tell me exactly. I am trying to brake my addiction to what got me here. This is not the easy way out, it is the hardest way out that I have ever been on. In the past I never threw up when I made a mistake, on this plan I have when I eat too fast, or overeaten. And that is a good thing. The tool is teaching me and I need a spanking ever so often.

One last point that others can toss rocks at me for. I do not believe anyone real young should have this surgery. There are many ways to lose weight and change your life style without modifying you body, pretty much permanently with surgery. They have too many social pressures to live like this. Many can, but looking at how many are years out and gaining weight. I think they should have put it off until their life is more stable and they do not have to bring things in the home for kids, unsympathetic husbands or wives. When I was in business there were way too many luncheons, dinners, and other events that it would have been hard to take my scale to the restaurant weigh what I was putting in my mouth. Now a young person on a date would not embarrass themselves by doing that either so they would act like their friends, and eat fast food, have 3 beers, and what ever and tell themselves they will somehow make up for it later. Problems is that later never comes, they have put 30 pounds on again and like me just say what the hell, I am happy fat.

OK lecture is over, pass the donation plate because the preaching is done. Sorry for the long rant, but if it helps one person it is worth it to me.  

 No rock throwing here, I totally agree about the age issue.  I'm not sure there is enough research to tell what will happen to you 30 or 40 years after this drastic surgery.  Definitely get counseling and nutritional help.  

I remember years ago my brother and I, who were both overweight, was watching Phil Donahue or Oprah, some show like that was on.  They had a doctor who said that overeating was due to problems in your childhood.  Well my brother and I had a pretty good childhood with no problems.  After the Doctor said that, we looked at one another and my brother said "I don't know about you but I'm overweight because I like food"!!  That was the same for me!!  Over the years, I never once thought that I had an emotional problem for being overweight, I LOVED FOOD!!!  I believe there could be an emotional problem for some people but I also believe that most people who are overweight have an addiction to food because they like the taste.  I'm 59 and I was raised on cornbread, potates, noodles, gravies, homemade biscuits and so on.  It was delicious and always will be to me but it made me FAT!!! and gave me Diabetes.  So it is sort of a "death" to give these up but I believe it will be well worth it in the end.   Debbie

I always appreciate these posts. When going through the process my surgical centre did NOTHING to prepare me for the head issues that go along with surgery. I wish I'd had a program that included the social work piece. No one warned me about how the eating, vitamins and all that is really the easiest part of the surgery and that it was the mental aspects that are by far the most difficult.

The first two years were magical. Losing like crazy, constantly rewarded by the scale and by compliments. I felt like I could take on the world. Focus and motivation were easy. But then after that it's just you and the scale , food and real life. Six years out I feel like I am just starting to makepeace with the scale and with myself.


Thanks for the post

Dawn

That is an excellent post. I do have to say though that I enjoy cooking more now than I have in years. I may not be able to eat much but what I do eat, I want to enjoy. I also enjoy cooking for others. It is very gratifying making a good healthy dinner for people to enjoy.

Thanks for this post, it is so very honest and I know it is not easy to admit those things.

It was so easy the first couple years watching the weight fall off and getting compliments all of the time but as the maintenance of my weight became less dependent on the pouch and more dependent on myself, that is when it started getting tough. All of those food demons were waiting for me right where I left them just waiting for an emotional moment of weakness so they could knock me back down and control me again.

I fight and struggle every day with my food addiction but that being said I have found some peace with it by continuing with cooking, shopping and serving food to my family I just do it in a different way now with less crap and more good stuff.

But it still isn't easy. I went to the bakery outlet yesterday to get some sandwich thins because they are 99 cents there and 3.99 at the grocery store. But man it was tough I wanted to buy all of those cookies and snacks so bad and I even started lying to myself right there saying "well you can get then for the kid, he would like those." I put my game face on and marched through at fast as possible!  OMG I had to get out i felt like a total addict standing there.
 
Think it was over? hahahaha! no....to make things worse...The lady at the counter gave me a free item from the table that I got to choose well, that was fun! I made it all the way to the register with my sandwich thins no pasteries or any other crap and at the very end what is there?? a table full of FREE pasteries!!!OMG HELP! So I looked at the table and was able to reisist all the junk and pick a pack of whole wheat english muffins but really?? how much strength can be expected out a girl in one 5min trip to the bakery outlet??

One day at a time :)