My 6 years Post Op & Head Issues (Very Long)
I posted my story on our Ontario site but I thought I'd share it here too. This post is not to discourage newbies in their quest for surgery - it is truly the best thing I've done for me - but it's for me tone honest in the head struggles I've had post op. I would like to think I'm not completely alone in this struggle and I'm hoping that maybe I'll help someone out there by persuading them to seek therapy. Or to prepare themselves for possible post op head issues or maybe just they won't feel so alone in their struggles.
I'm hoping this post won't come across as too negative and whiney...but it just might. I want people to know that there are not always rainbows and unicorns in our journey. There are issues of all kinds after surgery and after you've been out a while.
I had surgery on July 5th, 2006. Back then many of us went to Michigan My care there was great, after care really sucked. But my surgeon was wonderful and I had very few problems with my surgery itself. The only complication was a nicked artery. I lost a bit more blood than most patients but recovery was fairly easy. I was at the mall my second day home. It truly was easy breezy!
My first year out was GLORIOUS. I have no other word to describe it. It was so wonderful. Although I was a slow loser (my surgical centre gave us no guidelines on carbs and I do think that slowed me down compared to others) I did fairly well. I started at 290 lbs before surgery and ended up being less than half that by goal. My first year I followed the rules very well and made exercise a huge part of my life. I made a point of walking to and home from work every day 3 miles and then would jump on my treadmill at home for another 4 miles. I was pretty motivated, highly focused and felt so strong and powerful. I remember feeling so strong and powerful - I was now eating to live and not living to eat. I loved feeling that power over food! The first year is a CONSTANT high. We long timers wish we could bottle it and have it back. LOL It's purely magical!
Early deficiency of iron and osteopenia developed by the year mark. Started supplementing.
The second year was pretty good too. I still had that high...but the binges started to creep in now and again. Those of us who are binge eaters do tend to struggle post op. I'd binge and then cry about the binge. I hated myself for doing it. I was even planning binges in advance...and then feeling like a failure a half hour later when I felt like crap. I started to gain. It started to freak me out to be honest. Five pounds up. Feeling a bit daunted. People actually commented that I was too gaunt earlier and that I was looking better...but I did not feel that at all. The mental struggle was beginning and the feelings of being out of control and feelings of failure were terribly powerful. I was starting to feel powerless to food, no longer so powerful.
When I got to goal, no one really taught me what it meant to eat in moderation. I'd always been overweight. I always had a problem with food. I was never that person that could eat a small bag of chips and put half of it away for later. Not even as a teenager. It was a foreign concept. Portion sizes were starting to get larger. It started to get scary. I could eat more and binges were bigger. It was getting downright scary. Feeling out of control, feeling worthless.....up 10 lbs...
I ended up as a size 10 and eventually 12. I was devastated. People I worked with were size 0 and 2 after having children. I started to obsess and do the 5 day pouch test....then cut carbs completely, then bingeing. I'd repeat the cycle again and again only to have the same results. I'd work hard for a week and lose only 1 lb but then binge on a bad weekend and gain double that. The weight was no longer falling off like it once did. I felt like 10 lbs could have been 100. I know it sounds strange but that 10 lbs was totally overwhelming to me.
I started feeling like a failure because I didn't get to size 4 or 6. I was still "big". I felt like a failure. I know that it seems so foreign that you'd consider yourself a failure being a size 10 or size 12 after being size 26/28 at your heaviest...but the mind is a strange thing. I became too obsessed with comparing myself to others. Not realizing how far I'd come. The reality is that some of us have bigger frames, some of us will be a size 2, some will be a size 10 or a size 18 or any size really. We are all so different. Again, the worst thing you can do is to compare yourself to others.
I decided I had better get into therapy. I went to our local eating disorder place for 6 months of therapy. They cater to binge eaters, over eaters, bullemics and anorexics. I learned a lot about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which many of us benefit from post op to deal with the head issues. I learned to try not to base my happiness on a size or number on a scale. I'm still not ready to throw out my scale like they suggest. A funny thing happened at therapy though - I also became obsessed with how skinny the anorexics look so while I made some progress, I think head issues were still skewed. Again head issues are a strange thing post op. More issues with anemia.
Year 2 was also when I discovered that I had Reactive Hypoglycemia. I never had diabetes or had issues with blood sugar so that required a lot of reading and learning on something new. I diagnosed myself, took the information to my doctor and yes, it was confirmed. I managed it fairly well. Sugar is the enemy. I wish I didn't have an issue with sugar - that I could keep it out of my life completely but sugar is my struggle always. Managed the RH fairly well this year. No problems with it other than a few lows.
Years 3 and 4, I continued the same skewed thinking while creeping up and up on the scale. I had a lot of issues going on in my personal life that lead to a lot of emotional eating. At one point, I ended up 27 lbs above my goal. I kid you not. SOOOO easy to do when your mind is skewed. I struggled. I had a few comments said to me that made me feel like giving up and running away. I would battle dark days of hating me, hating the scale and feeling like a total failure. It's very hard to run a support group for weight loss when you are going through the issues but I continued to do it. It was embarrassing to be up at the front when you were feeling like a failure. I lurked more on OH, poking my head in now and again, but feeling like a lost puppy. Didn't really fit in with the "rah rah" of the newbies and feeling like I couldn't offer any thing to anyone when I was struggling with myself. Up to size 12 and then closer to a 14.
Year 5 was better. Feeling like I started to make peace with my bounceback. Do I like it? No. But I managed to get off around 15 lbs of it and felt more in control. Still working on the self image and positive talk but feeling more like I'm a survivor in this thing called WLS rather than a failure. Realizing that I'm not the only person that struggles. I'm not alone in this journey. Back to size 12 but still working towards 10.
So here I stand at year 6, feeling more at peace. Again still a work in progress but trying to like myself more. In my head, I am still big and still relate to the large people in the room more than the "skinny minnies". Constantly have the feeling that I'm still a size 26. Regain is all in my stomach and butt and makes me feel constantly bloated and feeling like I look pregnant. I never feel like clothes fit like they did when I got to goal. I can tell that my body composition has changed with regain. Lost a lot of muscle mass. More wobbly bits than before.
This year again, anemia is still kicking its ugly head. Some low vitamin d for the first time. RH is kicking my butt more this year than ever before. I've had two issues in the past 6 months of passing out from it. (One time I put off symptoms when I shouldn't have - the second one, I attributed the symptoms to being sick from the heat versus RH). That's been scary but both times I really should have known better.
Food issues are still there. I call it my FAT HEAD. I am constantly struggling with my fat head - emotional eating, boredom eating, stress eating and bingeing. It's a constant struggle not to give in and sometimes I do. I am one of the few that can honestly eat anything. There is nothing that disagrees with my pouch - nothing. And I can eat large amounts. It would scare most people how much I can eat. To this day, I've still never vomited once, had things stuck or had the foamies.
I've learned that I have to just keep picking myself up and dusting myself off and set new goals. I'm a work in progress - for the rest of my life. Surgery did not fix my head in any respect.
I still have around 10-12 of regain to get back off. I'm starting to make peace with that though. It's not the end of the world if I stay where I am at. I'm starting to strongly believe the issue of set point. My body is pretty resistant. So I'm trying to make peace with the fact that I may still carry some extra weight with me and that it's not the worst thing in the world if I do. It could be far worse. It could have easily slipped to 40, 50 pounds had I not caught it earlier when it started to spiral. Some days I feel in control of my eating and other days I still feel overwhelmed. For me, it's day to day...one day at a time.
I'm grateful for many things:
Other than the RH issues, I'm healthy. Anemic still but no other problems. Healthy is a good thing. I'm strong. I'm mobile. I'm active. Life doesn't pass me by unless I want it to. I've coached swimming, baseball, basketball. I've done walked three half marathons in Detroit. I've met many nice people in the WLS community. Running a support group has helped me be accountable to myself and others. I cannot put my head in the sand and ignore the creeping weight. I need the support group as much as others.
I see my parents struggling with their obesity and I'm so glad that I made the choice that I did to have surgery. Both of my parents can barely walk a block without being terribly winded, my Mom is at the point that soon she'll need a cane or a scooter. I'm not there. I'm not going to have a heart attack at a young age like my mother did. I still have my life and quality of life. It's really a wonderful thing.
My goal is to keep working on the head issues. I highly encourage newbies to examine these issues before surgery. The head stuff can be brutal for many of us. You will see me on this board talking about regain/bounceback quite frankly. I think we need to start taking the shame out of it. It happens and most surgeons do expect it. I think by beating ourselves up we are not doing ourselves any favours. I wish people had given me more of a heads up on it to be honest. Then maybe it wouldn't have been so devastating to me.
Anyway, there's the good, bad and ugly of my surgery and my life post op. I know that my experiences are not the same as everyone else's but I'm sure I'm also not the only one to go through such a range of emotional issues and head issues after surgery. So I thought I'd put this out there for anyone who may relate to my story or anyone that wants to chat about any of these issues. Sometimes feeling like we are not alone in this journey is a very powerful thing.
Newbies: WLS is an absolutely amazing gift. It's a wonderful gift but also a big responsibility to use it wisely. There may be MANY times that you struggle along this journey. Please don't waste the wonderful gift you've been given. Get to goal your first year, keep your triggers at bay and work towards getting off the most weight you can while you can. All the succes in the world to all of you !'
Dawn
I'm hoping this post won't come across as too negative and whiney...but it just might. I want people to know that there are not always rainbows and unicorns in our journey. There are issues of all kinds after surgery and after you've been out a while.
I had surgery on July 5th, 2006. Back then many of us went to Michigan My care there was great, after care really sucked. But my surgeon was wonderful and I had very few problems with my surgery itself. The only complication was a nicked artery. I lost a bit more blood than most patients but recovery was fairly easy. I was at the mall my second day home. It truly was easy breezy!
My first year out was GLORIOUS. I have no other word to describe it. It was so wonderful. Although I was a slow loser (my surgical centre gave us no guidelines on carbs and I do think that slowed me down compared to others) I did fairly well. I started at 290 lbs before surgery and ended up being less than half that by goal. My first year I followed the rules very well and made exercise a huge part of my life. I made a point of walking to and home from work every day 3 miles and then would jump on my treadmill at home for another 4 miles. I was pretty motivated, highly focused and felt so strong and powerful. I remember feeling so strong and powerful - I was now eating to live and not living to eat. I loved feeling that power over food! The first year is a CONSTANT high. We long timers wish we could bottle it and have it back. LOL It's purely magical!
Early deficiency of iron and osteopenia developed by the year mark. Started supplementing.
The second year was pretty good too. I still had that high...but the binges started to creep in now and again. Those of us who are binge eaters do tend to struggle post op. I'd binge and then cry about the binge. I hated myself for doing it. I was even planning binges in advance...and then feeling like a failure a half hour later when I felt like crap. I started to gain. It started to freak me out to be honest. Five pounds up. Feeling a bit daunted. People actually commented that I was too gaunt earlier and that I was looking better...but I did not feel that at all. The mental struggle was beginning and the feelings of being out of control and feelings of failure were terribly powerful. I was starting to feel powerless to food, no longer so powerful.
When I got to goal, no one really taught me what it meant to eat in moderation. I'd always been overweight. I always had a problem with food. I was never that person that could eat a small bag of chips and put half of it away for later. Not even as a teenager. It was a foreign concept. Portion sizes were starting to get larger. It started to get scary. I could eat more and binges were bigger. It was getting downright scary. Feeling out of control, feeling worthless.....up 10 lbs...
I ended up as a size 10 and eventually 12. I was devastated. People I worked with were size 0 and 2 after having children. I started to obsess and do the 5 day pouch test....then cut carbs completely, then bingeing. I'd repeat the cycle again and again only to have the same results. I'd work hard for a week and lose only 1 lb but then binge on a bad weekend and gain double that. The weight was no longer falling off like it once did. I felt like 10 lbs could have been 100. I know it sounds strange but that 10 lbs was totally overwhelming to me.
I started feeling like a failure because I didn't get to size 4 or 6. I was still "big". I felt like a failure. I know that it seems so foreign that you'd consider yourself a failure being a size 10 or size 12 after being size 26/28 at your heaviest...but the mind is a strange thing. I became too obsessed with comparing myself to others. Not realizing how far I'd come. The reality is that some of us have bigger frames, some of us will be a size 2, some will be a size 10 or a size 18 or any size really. We are all so different. Again, the worst thing you can do is to compare yourself to others.
I decided I had better get into therapy. I went to our local eating disorder place for 6 months of therapy. They cater to binge eaters, over eaters, bullemics and anorexics. I learned a lot about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which many of us benefit from post op to deal with the head issues. I learned to try not to base my happiness on a size or number on a scale. I'm still not ready to throw out my scale like they suggest. A funny thing happened at therapy though - I also became obsessed with how skinny the anorexics look so while I made some progress, I think head issues were still skewed. Again head issues are a strange thing post op. More issues with anemia.
Year 2 was also when I discovered that I had Reactive Hypoglycemia. I never had diabetes or had issues with blood sugar so that required a lot of reading and learning on something new. I diagnosed myself, took the information to my doctor and yes, it was confirmed. I managed it fairly well. Sugar is the enemy. I wish I didn't have an issue with sugar - that I could keep it out of my life completely but sugar is my struggle always. Managed the RH fairly well this year. No problems with it other than a few lows.
Years 3 and 4, I continued the same skewed thinking while creeping up and up on the scale. I had a lot of issues going on in my personal life that lead to a lot of emotional eating. At one point, I ended up 27 lbs above my goal. I kid you not. SOOOO easy to do when your mind is skewed. I struggled. I had a few comments said to me that made me feel like giving up and running away. I would battle dark days of hating me, hating the scale and feeling like a total failure. It's very hard to run a support group for weight loss when you are going through the issues but I continued to do it. It was embarrassing to be up at the front when you were feeling like a failure. I lurked more on OH, poking my head in now and again, but feeling like a lost puppy. Didn't really fit in with the "rah rah" of the newbies and feeling like I couldn't offer any thing to anyone when I was struggling with myself. Up to size 12 and then closer to a 14.
Year 5 was better. Feeling like I started to make peace with my bounceback. Do I like it? No. But I managed to get off around 15 lbs of it and felt more in control. Still working on the self image and positive talk but feeling more like I'm a survivor in this thing called WLS rather than a failure. Realizing that I'm not the only person that struggles. I'm not alone in this journey. Back to size 12 but still working towards 10.
So here I stand at year 6, feeling more at peace. Again still a work in progress but trying to like myself more. In my head, I am still big and still relate to the large people in the room more than the "skinny minnies". Constantly have the feeling that I'm still a size 26. Regain is all in my stomach and butt and makes me feel constantly bloated and feeling like I look pregnant. I never feel like clothes fit like they did when I got to goal. I can tell that my body composition has changed with regain. Lost a lot of muscle mass. More wobbly bits than before.
This year again, anemia is still kicking its ugly head. Some low vitamin d for the first time. RH is kicking my butt more this year than ever before. I've had two issues in the past 6 months of passing out from it. (One time I put off symptoms when I shouldn't have - the second one, I attributed the symptoms to being sick from the heat versus RH). That's been scary but both times I really should have known better.
Food issues are still there. I call it my FAT HEAD. I am constantly struggling with my fat head - emotional eating, boredom eating, stress eating and bingeing. It's a constant struggle not to give in and sometimes I do. I am one of the few that can honestly eat anything. There is nothing that disagrees with my pouch - nothing. And I can eat large amounts. It would scare most people how much I can eat. To this day, I've still never vomited once, had things stuck or had the foamies.
I've learned that I have to just keep picking myself up and dusting myself off and set new goals. I'm a work in progress - for the rest of my life. Surgery did not fix my head in any respect.
I still have around 10-12 of regain to get back off. I'm starting to make peace with that though. It's not the end of the world if I stay where I am at. I'm starting to strongly believe the issue of set point. My body is pretty resistant. So I'm trying to make peace with the fact that I may still carry some extra weight with me and that it's not the worst thing in the world if I do. It could be far worse. It could have easily slipped to 40, 50 pounds had I not caught it earlier when it started to spiral. Some days I feel in control of my eating and other days I still feel overwhelmed. For me, it's day to day...one day at a time.
I'm grateful for many things:
Other than the RH issues, I'm healthy. Anemic still but no other problems. Healthy is a good thing. I'm strong. I'm mobile. I'm active. Life doesn't pass me by unless I want it to. I've coached swimming, baseball, basketball. I've done walked three half marathons in Detroit. I've met many nice people in the WLS community. Running a support group has helped me be accountable to myself and others. I cannot put my head in the sand and ignore the creeping weight. I need the support group as much as others.
I see my parents struggling with their obesity and I'm so glad that I made the choice that I did to have surgery. Both of my parents can barely walk a block without being terribly winded, my Mom is at the point that soon she'll need a cane or a scooter. I'm not there. I'm not going to have a heart attack at a young age like my mother did. I still have my life and quality of life. It's really a wonderful thing.
My goal is to keep working on the head issues. I highly encourage newbies to examine these issues before surgery. The head stuff can be brutal for many of us. You will see me on this board talking about regain/bounceback quite frankly. I think we need to start taking the shame out of it. It happens and most surgeons do expect it. I think by beating ourselves up we are not doing ourselves any favours. I wish people had given me more of a heads up on it to be honest. Then maybe it wouldn't have been so devastating to me.
Anyway, there's the good, bad and ugly of my surgery and my life post op. I know that my experiences are not the same as everyone else's but I'm sure I'm also not the only one to go through such a range of emotional issues and head issues after surgery. So I thought I'd put this out there for anyone who may relate to my story or anyone that wants to chat about any of these issues. Sometimes feeling like we are not alone in this journey is a very powerful thing.
Newbies: WLS is an absolutely amazing gift. It's a wonderful gift but also a big responsibility to use it wisely. There may be MANY times that you struggle along this journey. Please don't waste the wonderful gift you've been given. Get to goal your first year, keep your triggers at bay and work towards getting off the most weight you can while you can. All the succes in the world to all of you !'
Dawn
17+ years post op RNY. first year blog here or My LongTimer blog. Tummy Tuck Dr. Matic 2014 -Ohip funded panni
Windsor WLS support group.message me anytime!
HW:290 LW:139 RW: 167 CW: 139
An Amazing Read. Thank you sooooo much for sharing. Somehow I've always seen you as a pinnacle of strength and perfection at this WLS life we now live. It is important to see beyond the surface to the struggles inside.
Soooo much of what you talk about resonates with me. While binge eating and the head issues might not be as much my own personal demon, I do know that I don't have a normal relationship with food, probably never did have one, probably never WILL have one. Coming to understand myself and my relationship seems to be the most important, particularly if there are ways to understand why I do the things I do. Understanding brings a measure of peace and acceptance that helps me to stop kicking myself.
I could cut and paste your fight against regain and put it into my blog and it would describe a lot of what I've been going against. The reactive hypoglycemia is something that sounds easy to control, but honestly, the fear of having an RH episode is greater than fear of regain. My weight has started to climb from about teh time I started to put a strong handle on my RH. It seems to me that controlling the RH the way I do now is not conducive to maintenance. At least not at the weight I want. I'm only four and a half years out, and I am still fighting to get down 15 to 20 pounds, but my doctor's PA said it in a way that really resonated within me: I still have all those fat cells wanting to soak up some energy and store it for a rainy day. That is their function, and they'll do everything they can to fulfill their destiny. Maintenance is not nearly as simple as I thought it would be.
Thank you for sharing. This post should be bookmarked by newbies, revisited every six months, and taken to heart. It's not a simple road we've chosen to walk along, and we have to be aware of the potholes in the road ahead of us, steer around a few with foreknowlege, and minimize the impact of the ones we cannot avoid. Thanks again, to me, your post was gold.
Soooo much of what you talk about resonates with me. While binge eating and the head issues might not be as much my own personal demon, I do know that I don't have a normal relationship with food, probably never did have one, probably never WILL have one. Coming to understand myself and my relationship seems to be the most important, particularly if there are ways to understand why I do the things I do. Understanding brings a measure of peace and acceptance that helps me to stop kicking myself.
I could cut and paste your fight against regain and put it into my blog and it would describe a lot of what I've been going against. The reactive hypoglycemia is something that sounds easy to control, but honestly, the fear of having an RH episode is greater than fear of regain. My weight has started to climb from about teh time I started to put a strong handle on my RH. It seems to me that controlling the RH the way I do now is not conducive to maintenance. At least not at the weight I want. I'm only four and a half years out, and I am still fighting to get down 15 to 20 pounds, but my doctor's PA said it in a way that really resonated within me: I still have all those fat cells wanting to soak up some energy and store it for a rainy day. That is their function, and they'll do everything they can to fulfill their destiny. Maintenance is not nearly as simple as I thought it would be.
Thank you for sharing. This post should be bookmarked by newbies, revisited every six months, and taken to heart. It's not a simple road we've chosen to walk along, and we have to be aware of the potholes in the road ahead of us, steer around a few with foreknowlege, and minimize the impact of the ones we cannot avoid. Thanks again, to me, your post was gold.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
Wow!
Thanks for the kind words Ladylithia! I debated posting here because I'm not as active on this board as I am my home board (the small but amazing Ontario board).....but I guess I'm just in a sharing mood right now. I'm kind of surprised that you even know who I am. I consider all the regulars here to be the cool kids at school and I'm still the last one picked in gym class....
I really appreciated you sharing the fat cell story of the rainy day. It's a much more positive way of looking at things... As opposed to the whole beat myself up thing. Much appreciated! You are so right - maintenance is so challenging along this journey.
Thanks for the kind words Ladylithia! I debated posting here because I'm not as active on this board as I am my home board (the small but amazing Ontario board).....but I guess I'm just in a sharing mood right now. I'm kind of surprised that you even know who I am. I consider all the regulars here to be the cool kids at school and I'm still the last one picked in gym class....
I really appreciated you sharing the fat cell story of the rainy day. It's a much more positive way of looking at things... As opposed to the whole beat myself up thing. Much appreciated! You are so right - maintenance is so challenging along this journey.
17+ years post op RNY. first year blog here or My LongTimer blog. Tummy Tuck Dr. Matic 2014 -Ohip funded panni Windsor WLS support group.message me anytime!
HW:290 LW:139 RW: 167 CW: 139
Funny, I've always thought of you as one of the "cool kids".
It's always important to share the tough stuff.... the easy stuff... well, that doesn't help when you face tough things.
I was thinking after my "tirade" of the other day, about what posts I choose to click on and maybe respond. I think it tells something about my own feelings of failure that I almost never click on "goal weight" posts, or "three month out pictures" or "NSV" things. I tend to focus on the limited range of issues I'm able to comment on, but rarely is it success that I can comment on, as I don't really think of myself as all that successful. My legs will always be obese, and the bane of my life, a LARGE BUTT, that disappeared in the beginnng is coming back. There are victories that are transitory in this particular universe, and I don't tend to have much joy in sharing them in those who are in the lovely wonderful first couple of years. I see "100 pounds lost forever" and think to myself, "You hope, but don't get too excited" because it's just not easy. If it was easy, we wouldn't have needed the surgery to begin with.
It's always important to share the tough stuff.... the easy stuff... well, that doesn't help when you face tough things.
I was thinking after my "tirade" of the other day, about what posts I choose to click on and maybe respond. I think it tells something about my own feelings of failure that I almost never click on "goal weight" posts, or "three month out pictures" or "NSV" things. I tend to focus on the limited range of issues I'm able to comment on, but rarely is it success that I can comment on, as I don't really think of myself as all that successful. My legs will always be obese, and the bane of my life, a LARGE BUTT, that disappeared in the beginnng is coming back. There are victories that are transitory in this particular universe, and I don't tend to have much joy in sharing them in those who are in the lovely wonderful first couple of years. I see "100 pounds lost forever" and think to myself, "You hope, but don't get too excited" because it's just not easy. If it was easy, we wouldn't have needed the surgery to begin with.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
I see "100 pounds lost forever" and think to myself, "You hope, but don't get too excited" because it's just not easy. If it was easy, we wouldn't have needed the surgery to begin with.
Exactly.....the maintenance part of this is by far much more difficult than the losing. Forever is inconceivable......who knows what tomorrow or next month will bring.....how about 10 years from now. What we can do and MUST continue to do is not give up. That's my commitment to myself and I really hope all of us find the inner strength to continue to fight this obesity game.
Exactly.....the maintenance part of this is by far much more difficult than the losing. Forever is inconceivable......who knows what tomorrow or next month will bring.....how about 10 years from now. What we can do and MUST continue to do is not give up. That's my commitment to myself and I really hope all of us find the inner strength to continue to fight this obesity game.
Proximal RNY Lap - 02/21/05
9 years committed ~ 100% EWL and Maintaining
www.dazzlinglashesandbeyond.com
Yes indeed. It's sometimes frustrating to hit a maintenance weight you like, and discover that the food you consume to stave off the RH isn't a maintenance level.
I have greater fear of the RH than of regain.
I can only hope that with my return to work, and being busy, that the muscles will tone, and I tend to eat less because of the whole can't talk and not drink thing. But it's one of the most frustrating times for me, because I've been tracking every calorie, cutting back everywhere I can think of, and yet I still have the scale going up and I'm just not eating that much!
Yes, it's easy to conceive of how easy it is to maintain, when you're in the glorious stage of serious weight falling off with seemingly zero or minimal effort. But it's hard later, after you've lost. That five pounds that your skinny friend bemoaned losing that you thought was a kick a teeth (or I didd anyway) when I was 200 pounds overweight. Well I now know why skinny people bemoan a five pound gain. It's freakishly difficult to lose weight when you are "normal" and your diet is a maintenance level for your size but you gain some weight. They bemoan that 5 lbs because it's really hard to lose.
I have greater fear of the RH than of regain.
I can only hope that with my return to work, and being busy, that the muscles will tone, and I tend to eat less because of the whole can't talk and not drink thing. But it's one of the most frustrating times for me, because I've been tracking every calorie, cutting back everywhere I can think of, and yet I still have the scale going up and I'm just not eating that much!
Yes, it's easy to conceive of how easy it is to maintain, when you're in the glorious stage of serious weight falling off with seemingly zero or minimal effort. But it's hard later, after you've lost. That five pounds that your skinny friend bemoaned losing that you thought was a kick a teeth (or I didd anyway) when I was 200 pounds overweight. Well I now know why skinny people bemoan a five pound gain. It's freakishly difficult to lose weight when you are "normal" and your diet is a maintenance level for your size but you gain some weight. They bemoan that 5 lbs because it's really hard to lose.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
One of the best posts I have read. I have been aware that this surgery is more of what is going on in your head than our body. I am concerned for 1,2,3,4 years down the road where I will be at mentally and physically. In a way I wish the term "Honeymoon period" was never developed to use for this period of losing the weight. It can and I am sure is a major cultural shock when the malabsorbtion whittles down and now the real work is going to begin. Because you are so aware of your state of mind and your body that you will be more successful than most. Some feel empowered thinking that they will be riding this high forever. I am 59 and so I look at this from a different perspective. I am aware of RH being a diabetic myself and I am way familiar with the lows especially when my mother took insulin and had to go by ambulance when her numbers dropped to 20. She almost died.
I know I am way too new to this, but I needed it to save my life. This surgery can set up all kinds of eating disorders. Even now I can see the need to control what goes into my mouth.
Anyway, thank you for an article that needs to be read by all of us to see the reality of WLS. Jane
I know I am way too new to this, but I needed it to save my life. This surgery can set up all kinds of eating disorders. Even now I can see the need to control what goes into my mouth.
Anyway, thank you for an article that needs to be read by all of us to see the reality of WLS. Jane
I really appreciate those "real life" posts too. I think we need to take more shame out of bounceback weight. It is a reality for most. Too many people are shamed and never come back to the board. I feel like every support group should be about lifting us up when we are down :)
Thanks for the kind words. They are all very much appreciated.
Dawn
Thanks for the kind words. They are all very much appreciated.
Dawn
17+ years post op RNY. first year blog here or My LongTimer blog. Tummy Tuck Dr. Matic 2014 -Ohip funded panni Windsor WLS support group.message me anytime!
HW:290 LW:139 RW: 167 CW: 139
I think the 'shame of the bounceback' really strikes a nerve. As if there's something missing from us something shallow that keeps us from being worthy or something.
Bounceback is real. Bounceback is not nearly as easy to avoid as it seems to be, and it doesn't make the person who has it any less compliant or worthy.
Bounceback is real. Bounceback is not nearly as easy to avoid as it seems to be, and it doesn't make the person who has it any less compliant or worthy.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
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