What do you say...

For the most part, everyone I've told about my surgery is excited and happy for me. Of course there are some then that say "oh well your liver this", and " you know you can never eat that" and " it's goin to be hard for you to drink so much." This list goes on an on. I try not to take it personally. Ill admit, it's not easy to follow all the rules about post op, but I'm learning!

what do you say to these people who have a negative attitude? It's not that thy don't support me, it's almost like they don't want me to be successful...?

I see we are right about the same size.  I think you can chalk it up to the thinner you are, the heavier they look!

It is kind of like when it is time for pictures, I would always try to stand by the heaviest person in the room........until I WAS the heaviest person in the room.

True, those comments point out negatives. However, the warnings you quoted are legitimate. After RNY some people can never eat certain things again. Some people find it hard to drink fluids. (I can't think how losing weight harms your liver, though. ?? ) From what you say, it's not clear if they are being unsupportive or are sharing information with you. I guess you can tell by their actions, tones, and history. Whatever their intent, you know the benefits of WLS are worth the dangers for you. I might think about making a rule: I would listen to a warning from somebody once and once only. No repetitive negative comments allowed. Just say, "You know what? I looked into that very thing and it turns out to be a myth, thank goodness." If they bring it up again, ignore it or shut them down.

my $.02 fwiw

Just smile and nod.....they aren't going to listen to what you have to say, so why waste your breathe IMO. Honestly, some DON'T want you to be successful.

It goes along the lines of attending a baby shower, I don't think that I have ever been to one that childbirth war stories don't start up with the mom-to-be. Sometimes even from people who have never had children.

I am sorry you are going through this.....you really don't need to hear it. Pre-surgery IS a scary time and you don't need to hear the negativity. If you can't just smile and nod, tell them that you are working closely with your surgeon who spent many years in medical school and many more year performing this exact surgery and that you know the risks AND rewards.

Martha

I'm going through the same thing and I just thank them for their concern, tell them that I understand the crazy stories they have heard are causing the concern but they are welcome to read one of the books I have to learn more. Only one person has actually followed up on the book offer and she has turned into one of my biggest cheerleaders, offering to feed my chickens when I'm gone for surgery. So, offer to educate, then ignore as we know this is the right choice for us.

How about "thanks for your concern.  I've go it all under control"  Or "I'm working with a registered dietician about what I can and can't eat."

I know how you feel. There is always going to be someone who "supposedly" cares, but in reality I think (at least in my situation) this one person is secretly hoping I fail. She is a co-worker and she is heavy also, but too afraid to have the surgery. She has even said she would like to have the band done, but she says she enjoys her treats too much and doesn't think she is ready to have the procedure.
I know that she does care about my health, but in reality I also think she hopes that I fail. She watches everything I drink or eat at work and I know she used to talk about me behind my back. I do not care how she feels about me having this surgery, since she is not someone I care enough about to value her opinion.
For the people who are not supportive in your life, just let it go, it is not important how they feel about you or your success. You are what is important and your choice for the surgery is all that matters.
Keep your head up, and in a few months you will not have to defend any decision you have made (not that you have to do that now). Your actions will be proof enough.

It depends on the mood I'm in, frankly. I'll say 99% of people I've told, and I've told everyone, have been really excited and supportive. The couple of people who have been jackasses have gotten the glare of death. You could always look at them and exclaim "You finally graduated medical school?! You parents must be so proud!"

I had surgery about 3 weeks ago and what drives me crazy is my husband and my kids giving me a funny look and saying "mom, Is that something on your list that you are aloud to eat."  Darn it "yes", leave me alone.  I just want to yell it one time.... Aughhhh!

allowed not aloud lol