Just a vent but I gotta let it out...

Do you have someone in your life who is your food police?   I live with my Mother and I love her but I feel like i will never measure up.....all my life I've dealt with her being my food police which I know pushed me to eat more.....I'm not blaming her ultimately I'm a grown woman and I take accountability for my actions...but it hurts like hell to hear her discussing everything I ate at dinner tonight and how she hopes I don't gain my weight back.....mind you I ate half a salad with some crackers...ok, I popped two of my son's french fries in my mouth...should I?  No but when she said something about it...I wanted to eat the rest of them even if it did make me sick....just because I'm grown....then we get home and she's talking to my aunt give her the blow by blow and how she hopes I don't gain all my weight back...this is also the woman who told me to not get rid of all my fat clothes...i think in her mind she means well but she doesn't know what she does to my mental stability.   I can't move out...I don't make enough money to support my son and I.....which is another long story of bad decisions.....just when I think things might be looking up...this after my ex husband passes away.....I get this crap.....I know I can't not eat but man...this really makes me want to see how long I can go without eating...this is not the grown up this is the hurt kid who feels all alone.  So, she's upset, I'm upset....got my son upset....such a lovely family we are.....thanks for reading this far...but this may be the jump I need to do what I need to do. 

As in getting back to basics.....and figure out the scale business.  

You told us, now tell mom and tell her when you got wls they gave you something extra and unexpected, a set of balls, don't ever take her putdowns again.  I cleared the air with my mother because she felt it was ok to attack me.  Luckily I fixed the situation and our relationship because she died a few months later and if I never did I would have always regretted not standing up for myself.  Nothing should stand in your way of success.

Yep, what Heidi said. My mom is a piece of work. I had to put a stop to her bs. If I had not, she, with her crazy ways, would be trying to run my life.

Just because she`s your mother doesn`t give her the right to talk to you or behind your back like you`re a baby. Speak up to her. She needs to respect you and realize that you know what you`re doing in the long run. Then you can give her the same mutual respect. Lack of respect for you will bring lack of respect for her. She needs boundaries!

Have you applied for survivor benefits for your son from the death of his father? That should be more than enough for you to get a place of your own.

I would have a serious conversation with your mom, but it sounds as if she is passive aggressive and you could tal****il you were blue in the face and it would not matter. I'd concentrate on getting things together so you can move out and be free of her in your daily life.

Hope you wake with a brighter perspective on Sunday!

He was not his father so no benefits. I get child support but it pays just enough....I do wrk but took a serious pay cut when I lost my job.

Thank you tho,
Sherry

Thanks ya'll....I appreciate the advice...hopefully I can have a rational conversation with her today....but I doubt it. And it won't stop her...she's the biggest gossip I've ever met. But that's really all she has to do. I know I will miss her when she's gone. So I try and keep the peace.

Honestly, no one ever mentions what I eat. I would not tolerate that crap. Tell your mom talking about what you eat is off-limits. Period. If she starts to talk about it after that, leave the room. You cannot stop her from talking about you behind your back, but you do not have to listen to it in person. Find things to do outside the house.  I also live with my mother. Not sure how old your son is, but I take my kids to the park, to the pool, to friends, etc. to get them out of the house. There are a lot of things to do that don't cost anything.

Make a plan to move out. Look for a better job. Get training to do something else.

Are you seeing a therapist? I know I a lot of people do that to help with their WLS progress. If you are, talk to him or her and maybe even bring your mom and have the therapist help you communicate this problem...

Good luck! Don't let her get in the way of your success.