You have to be kidding me...... @#$%@#$@

I haven't been on the forum for a while. But I have always found support and great advice on here. This week I met my weight loss goal and I am down 115 pounds from my heaviest and 100 pounds since surgery. I know I should be SO proud of myself but sometimes people just want to steal your happiness and joy. I spent all of my 30's and started my 40's overweight. I NEVER had a weight problem until years of infertility issues, hormones, and just not caring. I gave up ever being a healthy weight again until last year when I decided to have WLS. Best decision ever! It has been very hard and I have had some issues but overall it has been worth it and I am so glad I did it.

This is what hurts me so much! I called my mama this week and told her that I had reached my goal. Her words...that is NOT a good thing. You are too skinny. Well...that was like having the wind knocked out of me. I have worked SO hard to get to this point. She had stayed on me for years about losing weight and actually suggested having WLS. Now...I am too skinny! Geez! I can't win. I give up! 

I did not have surgery for her but it is soooooo frustrating. The one person who should be my biggest fan is giving me grief about it. Friends and acquaintances have been so supportive and complimentary. It is just hurtful!

Sorry to vent but i just had to get it off my "skinny" chest! LOL!! 

Amy 

My ticker didn't change! POO!! It should say weight loss goal reached!  

Well, WE are proud of you. CONGRATULATIONS!

I can totally sympathise. I have been overweight my whole life. I was talking to my mum the other day and she asked how much I had lost since my recent surgery and when I told her she asked how much more I wanted to lose. I said that I was still about 6 kg heavier than the lightest I reached with my VSG she told me that she thought I looked gaunt in my face when I was at that weight. She was horrified when I said I wanted to go about another 15-20 kg below that. Hell that will still make me overweight but it is something that I can live with. As you say extremely hard when they really should be your most vocal advocate. 

Leisa

I am sure your mom only wants what is best for you and perhaps you are too thin in her eyes. She might be feeling guilty because she pushed you to loose the weight. My mom already told me after I have lost 20 pounds that I should stop loosing. She has not seen me at this weight for 20 years, so I think she is worried that I will now be too thin. I know she means well, so I do not take it personally. It is after all your journey and you did what s best for yourself.

Congrats with your weight loss- it is incredible!

Yeah, my mom was probably the least supportive - at first - but it took me a while to realize that it was HER issues and HER insecurities, not my work, that caused her to react poorly. At one point she did a 360 and started questioning if SHE should have WLS.... I found that ironic but didn't put much stock in her words because she rarely follows thru with ideas. 

Anywhooo..... Don't let anyone steal your sunshine, not even family! You have the right to tell her she hurt you, but she doesn't have the right to determine your outcome.

That's a hard one. Be proud of yourself, and hopefully she'll come around. 

Congrats on reaching goal weight!! I can relate to family making hurtful comments. I don't remember when it happened but I stopped caring what my dad says to me. And my sister and I can actually have a good laugh about it. I know he loves us more than anything but his round about insults are par for the course now. I am 49 and sis is 50 and we just call each other after a visit with dad(85) and have a good laugh! I am already expecting to be criticized for being too skinny although my weight was his favorite subject before surgery lol. He has offered to pay me for every pound I lost, saves losing weight articles for me, etc...I just laugh it off now and don't look to him for my self worth. He is doing the best he can at his age. He was there for me when I was young and I try to be there for him now. My mom died died 5 years ago of Alzheimer's and they lived with us for about a year before she died. My kids were 10 and 8. Definitely the hardest time of my life! But I miss my mom even though she could be quite mean (before Alzheimer's). 

Amy, I'm so sorry you were hurt by your mom's words. I don't know her, of course, but I'm not sure she was trying to hurt you. When you go through major surgery, and have such drastic, rapid weight loss, we usually tend to go through a short period where our loss is about to bottom out, and then you may experience a slight bounce back. I got down to 127 pounds at my lowest - I looked gaunt, my hair was thin and frizzy, and my skin just hung on me like a wet blanket. I hated the way I looked, and, yes, several concerned folks made comments. I was so depressed about it, but from staying on top of this forum, I knew it was temporary, and sure enough, I look just fine now.

Honestly, for people to say I'm "too skinny" is such a compliment to me - it makes me smile and think I over-achieved with my weight loss. So hang in there, my friend, for you must be doing something right! Congrats on all your success!

Our stories are amazingly similar.  Weight gain over several decades as I battled infertility, then was too wrapped up in being mom, wife, etc. too take care of myself.  I am currently one pound from goal (and holding there for three months!).  I weigh what I weighed when I got married 36 years ago:). My mom told me just this week that I had lost enough weight and needed to stop.  She was actually surprised when I told her I hadn't lost anything in several months.  Interestingly, we were at a family gathering a couple of days ago and I saw some nephews I hadn't seen since before surgery.  They were very positive and complementary- as most everyone has been.  When one mentioned that he didn't think he would have recognized me on the street my mom chimed in and said that was because he didn't know me when I was younger, and that I look just like I did in my twenties.  I'm going to take that as a complement.  I'm 55.  I think some of her ambivalence comes from the fact that I am smaller than her for the first time in years.  The good thing about that is that she has been motivated to lose some weight, as have my husband and daughter.

Like others have commented, be happy for yourself!  You have accomplished something amazing.  Understand that you can't control how others act or react.  You have to decide if you need to discuss how your mom's comments make you feel or if you can just let it go.  I just smile and let it go.  I lost the weight for me.  What other people think about it does not concern me at all.

I agree that this is one of the best things I've ever done.  Congrats to all of us!