Scared...need reassurance.

My surgery is Monday and I'm getting cold feet. I've been so sure of my decision to have the surgery from the get go....then there was a hiccup about me being at slightly higher risk for blood clot because I was never told to stop birth control pills ( supposed to be off for a month prior to surgery, my date was set 2 weeks from the approval call ). I've been freaking out because it. So now, my surgery is Monday and I'm starting to freak out. I was writing my children "goodbye" letters just in case something happens....but I can't get through it. I'm crying like a baby. I can't bear the thought of leaving my children motherless and my husband to care for them alone. I'm having the surgery purely for vanity reasons...okay, I have health problems too, but they aren't life threatening...I'm tired of being fat and nothing working to change it. Am I making the right decision? Did anyone else freak out like this or am I being an overly emotional freak? Someone tell me I'm not alone. 

I wrote letters to my husband and children prior to surgery in case something went wrong.  I do have health issues so the surgery has been a huge blessing for me and I am so glad that I didn't back out.  However, it did take me two years to go through with the first surgery of getting the lapband once I made the decision.  I didn't have a choice to go through surgery when the band failed as it had to come out.  Making the decision to have the RNY wasn't as hard but there were moments of questioning myself.  This subject came up at a support group meeting and it was interesting to see that the room was split about 50/50 as to whether or not one got cold feet prior to surgery.  Thus, I'd say what you are feeling is not unusual before a major surgery.  I honestly was praying while I was being sedated for the RNY.  The first thing I thought when I awoke was, "Thank you God".   

I've had a few surgeries, lap band, gallbladder, both knees replaced and wasn't scared for anything until the rny.  I also was sure of my decision but was very scared the week before.  Mine also was approved and then happened within 10 days - probably a good thing so I had less time to think about it.

I have no regrets.  It wasn't always easy but I'm 9 months out and feeling great,  I will always have a problem with food but I think I'm getting a handle on it.

Good luck to you.  You will be so much more "there" for your family once you get off some of the weight.

 

Linda

I've been accused of being the ultimate optimist, but it doesn't stop me,...I really, really do believe you are going to be just fine. You are going to sail through the surgery, ehhh, maybe have some challenging days for a few weeks following surgery, but in a year, you will wonder whatever had you so fearful and tearful. 

Being afraid is totally normal. This surgery is a big decision with many unknowns afterwards so anxiety is to be expected. Perhaps you don't have any health issues right now but where will you be in 10 years and what sort of mother will you be then? This is not about vanity but about you being the best wife and mother that you can be. I had my surgery about a year ago and weighed 258.5 at the time. I had knee and back pain every day,high cholesterol,high blood pressure and diabetes at the time. Today I weigh 121,am pain free,and my blood pressure is normal on one small pill. My blood sugar is 70 and my cholesterol is totally normal. I had been heavy my entire life,even as a child. Pain for me after surgery was very minor,but even if not you will be given meds to help. Surely a week or two of pain is worth it to be able to have a better life with your family?! Your kids will love you heavy or thin but I am sure they will really love having a Mom who can do even more fun things with them. You can do this and will be so happy you did!

I just had RNY a week ago and they gave me shots to keep from getting blood clots as well as support hose and plastic thingys over each leg that expand and contract like a balloon, blood clots were a complication that they were very concerned about and had triple therapy to guard against. I had no pre existing conditions for blood clots except my weight and having surgery.

You are not alone. After a three hour delay, ( the air and humidity system in the OR broke down) in which i was feeling a little freaky, the surgery was fine, they took great care of me and i am in healing mode now.

This will be the start of a new life.

Jan

 

You are not being an emotional freak. I'm really surprised your surgeon didn't tell you to stop taking those. Kinda scary what can fall through the cracks, isn't it?
If you're really, really scared, could they reschedule your surgery? I might lean that way if i was just too nervous and since that is their screw-up and definitely not your fault.
I'm not sure how much higher the risk would be for you. I was at an increased risk due to a previous superficial blood clot in my leg after I had my twin boys, but I had no problems with any of my surgeries. They should give you compression booties during and after your surgery and of course you walk, walk, walk after your surgery, but If you really feel that you need that piece of mind of being off those pills for a month before surgery, it would be fine for you to talk to your surgeon about a delay.
Cold feet before any surgery is completely normal. I think in your case, since this was preventable and they frankly kind of dropped the ball IMO, you're more nervous than you normally would be and it's got you very emotional...and rightly so. We depend on our surgeons and their teams to do right by us and lead us through this properly and if that doesn't happen, I think we feel let down and even more scared. Hope I didn't freak you out even more! I just want you to know you are completely justified in your feelings.
Good luck, sweetie. We're all pulling for you!

I love you. It's like you're in my head right now. I said several times that I "fell through the cracks" and that somebody "dropped the ball". Thank you...just...thank you.

You aren't alone in your feelings. I wrote my will (literally) about 7 hours before my surgery.  I think this is very normal. I really believe that if this is the day you are supposed to die, it will happen.  It won't matter if you had surgery that day or not, or if you were on the way to the grocery store.  What is good is that you can write letters to your children that will likely never be opened for decades.  I had to give myself shots to prevent blood clots for two weeks. Not my favorite thing but better than the alternative. It sounds like you have a very cautious doctor and that is extremely important. Only you can decide whether to go thru with this surgery or not. For me, it was one of the smartest things I have ever done. I didn't have any life threatening illnesses but if I didn't do something about my weight I would have eventually. If you decide to go for it, I can say that most people have no complications and your life will be unlike you ever expected. You will be able to enjoy life like never before and it will likely be a longer, healthier life.

Good luck, I'll keep you in my thoughts!!!!!!

I was so completely sure that surgery was the right thing for me about 4 months up to my surgery.  About a week before, I did start getting nervous and googling stuff and having doubts.  It's a scary thing - not to be taken lightly.  I can say that I don't regret it at all, but it hasn't been easy, especially in the beginning.  I have two little girls and the thought of not being with them in mortifying to me.  However, I am so much more of a part of their lives as a participating and happy mom now that I am down almost 100 pounds.  They deserve a happy, healthy mom.  Also, your health problems may be minor now, but they probably won't remain that way forever.  I had only minor health problems as well, nothing life threatening. . . sleep apnea, urinary stress incontinence, self esteem issues, GERD. . . all of that is gone now.  I feel a thousand times better and I love shopping in stores for cute clothes. . . like dresses. . .in normal sizes!!!