11 weeks out
I am 11 weeks out today and I am so close to being half way to my personal goal! The doc has not given me a goal weight as of yet but I set 160lbs as my goal. This was my weight when I got married 14 years ago in June. I am starting to set aside clothes that are getting to big on me now.
One thing that makes me sad is my younger sister has not asked me anything about surgery or how I am doing. She is 5 years younger than I am and very close to what my starting weight was before surgery. Maybe I am being paranoid but she hardly even looks at me. I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I do. We talked about it before and she shared with me she couldn't even afford the copays or deductibles for the surgery. She has many health issues. I was going to give her my clothes that are too big now but my husband and my mother said I shouldn't. When I am around her I try and not talk about surgery or any of my results. I hate that I don't feel like I can share my joy with her.
Good for you about all the weight loss! I know it feels frustrating not to be able to share such a huge experience with someone you are close to. A lot of relationships change after surgery. I've posted about this before. I've lost some friends that can't deal with the "new me" mostly because our commonalities have changed......or they liked me fat or they are jealous, who knows. I would keep doing what you are doing. I would not talk about weight or weight related things with your sister, or she will really start to resent you. Talk about that stuff on here, everyone knows what you are going through. My best friend had WLS about 9 years ago and has gained a significant amount of her weight back. Although she was supportive of me having surgery, she hasn't said one thing about my weight loss (ie, you look great, you've lost a lot of weight, etc) and I've lost 130 pounds. . .so, very big change. I did give her my big clothes, but I asked her about it first. She was happy to take them and is wearing them every time I see her. I don't know if your sister would be receptive to that or not......I would say probably not. I wish you luck. It's a tough journey with things we don't even expect.
I totally understand how hard it is not to share such a major part of your life with her, but trust me, she will resent you if you do it now. She may be ready at a different time, but now, it really appears that she doesn't know how to deal with any of her feelings, so she's just avoiding it, and you don't want her to avoid you. I have a select few (very few) friends I can talk to about my weight loss of food choices or exercise that don't find it obnoxious or bragging. I am just very careful with my words around them. It's been really hard with my best friend (who had WLS and gained a lot back) not to discuss it because I'm with her so much and it is such a major part of my life, but I remember when she had the surgery and I was fat. . . I really didn't want to hear about it either. Just be careful. In the end, she's you're sister, and as you said, she can't afford to have the surgery, so it's not even an option for her. Put yourself in her shoes. I'm sure she's jealous as hell. That's got to be hard and it's going to get harder the more weight you lose.
on 3/6/14 4:40 am
That must be really hard for you.You should be so proud of yourself.You want to shout from the mountain tops and you feel you can't be happy because she isn't.One thing if she wanted to have the surgery is you can get on a payment plan.I pay a very small amount of money that my insurance did not pay.I told the hospital that is all I can afford.You deserve to be happy and proud.Being someone's sister can be trying sometimes.Even when we get older there can be problems like when we were kids.I would just give the clothes to goodwill I wouldn't ask her if she wanted them.Best of luck to you.You can tell us how well you are doing every day here if you want to.You can keep us motivated to by how good you are doing.
