Feeling Alone with Little Support PrOp Surgery Monday

I'm sorry you are not getting the famiy support you need right now. Maybe when they see you actually going through the surgery and see you quickly loosing weight they will come around. The first couple of months were hard for me. I had RNY  3 and 1/2 years ago. I am doing great and have had no problems. I wish you the best of luck! Remember you are doing this for YOU! I have a website I've been working on that might give you some inspiration. It is http://www.gastric-bypass-journey.com/if you would like to read some of my story.

With some of the complications I had - short and long term - I can't imagine not having friends / family support. I know I did that to myself (surgery) but having strong support of people around me when I delt with complication was critical.  I had couple of friends who were against that and and who never helped when I needed someone to take me to hospital or ER. But thery also never said anything negative to me after I already had the procedure. 

Good luck. 

hmmm seems that your family may just be scared of losing you too! this is completely understandable and makes you a little damned if u do or damned if u don't...don't worry, it will be fine, my only regret about my RNY is not doing it sooner!!! YOU GOT THIS!!! remember you are trying to SAVE YOUR LIFE, not everyone can understand OR relate to that and this is only your FIRST STEP! there are many more steps you will take ALONE wout the support of your family and "friends" but that's a lesson we all learn...this is a step in the right direction but remember, only a STEP! you've GOT THIS!!!

I didn't have 100% support from my husband and my family is out of state so not so much support. Hubby said "you can just lose the weight on your own". My reply was always "yes, I can lose weight but I can not keep it off".  He stopped each time I said this.  I'm ecstatic now.  I've come off all my diabetic meds including insulin as well as BP meds etc.  You just stay strong!

When I came home I was pretty much on my own as my husband was at work.  I did just fine!  If you can go forward after all the negative people I have no doubt you'll come thru this beautifully!  Keep us informed on how you do.  You'll do great!!!

Good for you for knowing what you need and getting it.  You reasoning for having surgery is completely totally reasonable and sound.  It is the most amazing thing to arrive at a place where you notice others judging or not supporting but you know what you need and go ahead anyway.  Not always easy but so so amazing.  My husband was HORRIFIED when I told him I wanted surgery.  It was a complete life crisis for him.  Lucky for me (and him) he worked through it and by surgery time was fearful and hesitant but totally with me.  I agree with the poster who said that sometimes we need to rethink relationships.  Not today maybe, but in time, if he can't offer what you need, maybe you want to be with someone who can.  And regarding post op support, you totally need it, but it doesn't have to come from your boyfriend and family.  I am crucifying the quote but Cheryl Strayed said something like, "take what you have and stack them like blocks, build your life around that".  Go get yourself some support.  You started by posting here.  keep doing it.  Surround yourself by people who have what you want.  Overeaters Annonymous may or may not be for you, but there might be some folks there who want to be supportive and most communities have a meeting or two.  Place an ad on Craigslist if you need to!  Just keep getting what you need.  Right after surgery (and possibly later if you have complications) you might need physical support, but what I have really needed is emotional, nutritional, spiritual support.  you can get that here!  You can hire a life coach, get a therapist, whatever. 

Through some MIRACLE, when I told my husband that I wanted to have surgery and he was so horrified, I just knew without a shadow of a doubt that it didn't matter if he 'got it", it only mattered that I take care of myself.  I just trusted that he would either figure it out or that I would have the wisdom to know what to do if he didn't.  So I didn't worry about convincing him, I just went about getting what I needed.  Just know what you know.  You will be okay.  It is HUGE to make this decision.  Spring is such a season of rebirth and transformation.  A wonderful season for changing your life.  :) 

FYI, my husband is now completely happy that I had surgery.  Incredibly supportive.  And we are closer because of the work we did to work through his fears about surgery. 

Thank you for the encouragement. I find it funny that the hardest part of this process is getting my family on board. I know if something happened they, including my boyfriend would be there for me. I'm glad you shared your story! Tomorrow my immediate family and boyfriend who I live with will all be together for Easter. I am hoping everyone will come around tomorrow and be there for me. I will update tomorrow night HAPPY EASTER 

Thank you all for such kind words and support! My family will ALL be at the hospital with me and staying during the entire surgery! They all just want to make sure that I will be okay

: )