Surgery rescheduled-not meeting my preop goals :(

I have such mixed feelings about requiring someone to lose weight before performing weight loss surgery on them. On the one hand, it seems cruel to deny someone the tool that helps them lose weight until they...lose weight. I think it's a pretty safe bet that all of us who have had the surgery have first tried to lose, some of us many, many times, just by dieting and exercise. If we could lose that way, we would have! But, on the other hand, now that I've had the surgery myself I can see what the doctors *****quire this are looking for. Life after WLS requires commitment. You have to eat your protein, take your supplements, etc. If you're the kind of person who can't do that, then testing your commitment before surgery will show that. And that's what your surgeon is doing by requiring you to lose weight.

So the short version: If you want the surgery, you have to do this. Do NOT be embarrassed! If this was easy to do, you wouldn't need the surgery. Use your frustration and anger to fuel your efforts, not to make yourself feel bad. You definitely need to work on your relationship with food, and make the mental changes required. Cut out the sweets. Just stop, cold turkey. It will be hard for a few days, but it will get better. Learn to eat the WLS way now: Protein first and primarily, then carbs from veggies. No white carbs (bread, pasta, rice, potatoes.) And definitely measure and track what you eat, you need to know how many calories you're eating daily. Get a free account on MyFitnessPal and honestly enter your intake. Figure out your resting metabolic rate (there are calculators all over the internet to help you with that) and figure out how many calories will get you losing, then shoot for that on a daily basis.

After surgery this kind of eating will become much easier for you. But to get there, you have to clear this hurdle. You can do it! Stay strong and keep thinking of your goal, to lose enough to qualify for the surgery.

Good luck!

I hate reading posts like this.  I think your surgeon is cruel - the fault is NOT yours and you should not feel depressed or defeated.  Find another surgeon who does not require weight loss before surgery, not all do, mine did not.  The liver-shrinking thing is a personal preference of the surgeon - not a requirement for a successful RNY.  15 lbs post-RNY is going to come off in the first week.  Losing weight before surgery is nothing like losing it after.  Everything is different - there are no habits to form pre-op.  That is the entire point of the surgery - if you could have lost weight by restricting your calories before surgery, you would have and therefore would have no need for it.  RNY will reset your metabolism and your whole concept of hunger and satiety, which means that your way of eating post-op will be entirely different.  There is no way to simulate it pre-op.  Don't worry about it - find another doctor.

So the fact that her surgeon would like to maybe set her up to get into some good habits before hand it a bad thing? I know it is tough but most of have had to do it. I would prefer a surgeon that did not sugar coat things to me. I guess I am weird that way.

Changing surgeons at this point would delay surgery even further.  And honestly, I would hope a new surgeon would be concerned about a patient switching docs just because she didn't want to lose 15 lbs.  Another surgeon might have the same requirement, or decide to require her to do a few months of therapy first or something.

The quickest and easiest way for her to get to have surgery at this point is to lose 15 lbs.  I know losing weight is not easy.  But it's just 15 lbs. 

But finding a surgeon who does not require weight loss would take a lot longer than a month they are being delayed.

I also disagree with no habits can be formed pre-op, because they most certainly can. I'm working on them now and I have 6 months to go. I'm practicing chewing my food to the pureed consistency, not drinking water during my meal, practicing portion control, starting to cook food which would be good for me pre-op, occasionally pureeing food to get used to eating it so the concept isn't foreign to me later. While you can simulate it exactly you can make changes and get new habits which will make it easier to make changes after surgery.

Hey - no worries.  As someone who has seen this thing from both sides and is now almost 4 years out, I am giving the benefit of my experience.  When you have your RNY, you will see what I mean.  There is more to this thing than how much physical food fits in your new stomach.  There are hormonal and metabolic changes that occur too.  The OP is in trouble because her body is demanding that she maintain her currently high weight.  When she loses even a small amount of weight, hunger kicks in and drives her to eat.  Her brain begins a series of food-seeking behaviors which are very, very hard to beat; I know because I have been there.  I weighed 404 lbs before surgery and any significant weight loss was very, very difficult and very, very discouraging.  A lot of that goes away post-op.  Food speaks much less loudly.  The pounds fall off.  I have lost 214 lbs and am now a normal weight for my height and sex.  I do not find the need to chew my food to a pureed consistency, I do drink a small amount of liquids with my meals and I eat a varied diet that is heavily weighted toward plants but those things are minor.  The RNY is the star of the show and is the reason why I lost 100% of my excess weight and is the ONLY reason I am able to keep it off.  I simply don't desire to eat 5000 calories per day anymore.

I think is wrong to withhold this life-giving procedure from someone because they didn't lose 15 lbs.  You wouldn't demand that a cancer victim shrink their tumor on their own before you gave them chemo, would you?  So why would you deny someone medical treatment for obesity unless they lose a weight first?

Are you seriously tellng the OP to ignore medical advice, tailored one assumes to her specific medical needs? Telling her if one medical professional believes she needs to meet necessary surgical requirements, she should just find another? Shop around until she finds someone prepared to operate on her with a large, hard liver? A surgeon who is prepared to operate at a heavier weight than optimal? A surgeon who is disguising the fact that she will still need will - power after surgery? 

You are twisting my words, so the answer is no, I am not saying what you said. I said - in essence - find another doctor who will operate without the requirement that the patient lose weight.  The requirement to lose weight before RNY is not one that all surgeons have.  Find one that doesn't require it so you don't have to deal with it.

I would hope that a surgeon would work with the individual. I was not required to do a pre-op diet. Others, with the same surgeon, were required to. My surgeon examines his patients and decides how to proceed based on the individual. I would be unhappy with a doctor with a blanket one-size-fits-all policy.