Accountability Check In. Spoiler Alert: it is not good.

I am 22 months out, have done pretty well.  But.  The last month or two have been rough.  I am up a couple of pounds (4 to be exact) and on my frame a couple of pounds is really noticeable.  My favorite hiking shorts don't fit.  I hate that.

Beyond the obvious (eating too much) I think I have a handle on what has happened.  It is the perfect storm of the following:

a year long mess of medical trouble that resulted in MONTHS of a crazy restrictive diet

restrictive diets have ALWAYS caused rebound weight gain and general crazy food behavior

post op rny, no different

and I can eat way more

and I think I calorie malabsorption wore off right as perimenopause hit

and suddenly crackers and cookies and chips are easy easy easy to down by the handful

and old habits are just creeping back in, grazing, mindless eating, poor planning

The eating disordered part of my brain is saying this, "Oh my god!!!!  This is a crisis!!!!!  Do something you fat slob!!!!!  You are a loser!!!!!  You will be 250 lbs in a minute!!!!!  Juice fast!!!!!  Five day pouch test!!!!!!  Stop eating all together, you are worthless!!!!!!"

Thank god for years of therapy and a well developed part of me that is saner. 

That part needs to make a good plan.  Here is what I have got so far:

Tomorrow I will post in the am on the what are you eating thread.

Tomorrow night I will start a thread entitled, so how did you do?  I need a follow up, it is no problem for me to write down a killer plan, actually doing it, that is trickier.

Starting right this moment I will be gentle with myself but will also be clear about some things, chips and cookies and crackers are just not great options for me.  I must care for myself and that includes not allowing myself to eat things that make me crazy and starving.  I will also need to do certain things for the rest of my life, like eat protein first, and plan, and eat a more restrictive diet than the folks I hang out with (who are all farmers and statuesque and eat about 7000 calories a day, seriously)  And I just need to get over that.  Sometimes life isn't fair.

Tomorrow I will also plan lots of non food activities so that I can have some structure as I get back on track.  I have a six hour kayak trip planned.  hehe, maybe that is the solution!  If I am in a boat all day I can only eat what I brought!!

And tonight, I will go upstairs, far from food, and watch tv in bed.  That is pretty luxurious.  Who needs ice cream when watching tv in bed is an option!?

 

Okay, I feel better already!  If anyone has any support or ideas to share I would love it. 

 

Don't forget your water! Drink, drink, drink!  Vitamins? For some reason I feel like I am really taking good care of myself when I take my vitamins!   

You can do it! Tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to care for yourself!

Sheri

I have the vitamins down and I get enough ounces of liquids, but...  caffeine has re-entered my life.  I am telling you, diet snapple is my gate way drug.  I am horrified to admit this but I am back to drinking copious amounts of diet coke a day.  I am SUPER sensitive to caffeine and get addicted really quick.  And obsessive.  When I am drinking diet coke it is the only beverage I want.  I literally can not drink water if I am drinking diet coke.  Bad.  So.  I have been avoiding this but it is inevitable.  I think I need to go back off the diet coke and the diet snapple.   I just can't be reasonable with these drinks.  Good grief!  Hot tea with milk and splenda seem to work for me though, she that will save me the withdrawal headache for a while anyway.  thanks for the reminder Sheri!

Do you remember a while back, telling me you were feeling really hungry a lot and also drinking a lot more caffeine and I said that caffeine can make you produce more stomach acid and make you feel hungrier?  I don't think that's necessarily the case for everyone, or at least not everyone notices a big difference.  But back when we talked about that, if I am remembering correctly, you started cutting way back on the caffeine and noticed a big difference in your hunger right away.  So I would suggest trying that again.

Yes, I do remember.  I am not sure if it helped my hunger exactly but it helped in other ways.  All this diet soda...  just seems to pave the way for other unhealthy stuff.  So, I am gonna work on it tomorrow.  Thanks for the support!

AAAAHHHHH Run AWAY FAST!  I was a TOTAL Diet Coke addict for 25 years.  I consummed a minimum of 96ozs a day of the stuff.  It was heaven!  I loved the burn when I took my first sip just like an alcoholic.  I swear to God that stuff calls seductively to fat cells.  They are best buddies.  I think DIET Coke is the single largest contributor to my becoming obese.  I left it behind 7 years ago now and still sometimes think about it and how nice it would be to take that first sip!!  I encourage you to think about the great things you achieved while you weren't drinking it (and eating the other things too) and hold on to them to help you move, no RUN away from it again.  I'll be wishing you all the best!!

Mindful eating must be a part of our lives from Day 1 Post-op.  You're doing well by refocusing on your habits and taking care of yourself.

I know a lot of my weight regain has come about because I totally quit exercising.  That's back on the list for me now.  I'd like to recommend that you find something fun to do and do it!

And definitely lose the refined carbs--pure poison.

Oh Hey.... YOU ARE ME!!!!  If you want company :-)

I am 17 months out. Can eat a lot more. Stopped losing (but I got to goal at least).  Had allowed crackers and really anything in my pouch.

I officially gained 6 pounds from my lowest -- the last being right after vacation.  Clothes were tighter than I liked ---

So.... DETOX was the only thing to do.  I had to get the cracker monkey off my back.  I have gone low carb, no refined sugar at all - and have lost 4 of my 6 pounds!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

I read that you should do a crap/carb detox slowly  -- because LIKE YOU... I have the crazy rebound dieting reactions and even worse eating habits.  So I am following the plan where in week one you just focus on getting rid of the carbs that have been triggering you.  So no cracker, chips, pretzels.... milk duds. They recommended filling your cravings with fats/nuts/etc.  Don't worry about calories for the first week.

Week 2 up the protein.

Week 3 focus on calories.

Week 4 - do all of the above but if you are strong enough have a PLANNED "free day" -- they all say that if you restrict yourself with "nevers" you will just fall off the wagon forever.

So that is my plan. I am taking it one day at a time.

Best of luck to you .... check in!!!

Ooo, I love that plan, the stages.  That is the kind of thing that really works for me because it is slow and gentle.  Did you come up with that on your own?  Brilliant!

You know exactly what to do.  You've got an excellent plan in place.  And I trust you to be able to stick to it.

Some old habits may be creeping in, but new habits are in evidence, as well.  Because there was a time, right, when you would have said oh well, I blew it, let's go eat a whole cake or whatever.  Well, OK, that's what I would have done in the past.  But instead you are here, posting, making a plan, in control of the situation.

Don't start restricting food and doing crazy fad diets.  You know those don't work.  you've done them before.

You know what works, too.  It's all the stuff you've got in your plan.  You've had bumps in the road before and you know what worked to get you back on track.  You know what's worked to allow you to lose all this weight.  So do that.  And it's not fasting or starving yourself.