need some reassurance

Hiya guys. I guess I just need some reassurance. My surgery is a week away and I am getting a little nervous. My husband keeps freaking out about these nightmares he's having about losing me during surgery of directly after. I am considering writing letters to him and my kids in case something does happen and getting my will in order. Anybody else do this? Am I overreacting? He supports my decision but he is scared. I told him that this is easy and it is not unlike any other surgery I've had - in fact, I told him that then they took out whole organs and not just 85% of one. I think I am getting more nervous because of him but I don't want to say anything cuz I don't want to hurt his feelers, ya know? I can't very well tell him to zip it because he is making me crazy. He's only trying to help and let me know what is going on, but he is making my fear worse I think. And I am scared. I have had 11 previous surgeries so I'm not a newbie at surgery so I don't understand why I am feeling this way. Any advice or reassurance would be great. I am doing this so that I can live with my kids instead of watching them live from the sidelines. I guess it's just late at night and the thoughts are catching up. Thanks for you support in advance. I appreciate all the people on this board, you guys mean the world to me. Thank you.

Christine, my mother had the same fear, 8 years ago I was supposed to get the surgery,, but I backed out at the last minute because my mother was very upset and thought she might lose me during surgery.  At the time I was 300lbs, now fast foward to now, I've since gained an additional 146lbs over that 8 year period.   My Sleep Apnea got worse, hard to walk short distances, could no longer climb or go down stairs.  Went from a size 26/28 to TIGHT 6x, and final straw Dr. told me to purchase a cane and I might need knee replacement in the next couple of years.  I'm only 40 years old.

Even though our family means well, this is not cosmetic surgery, this is a life changing/life saving surgery.   I don't think it would be bad if you would just say to your husband, that you appreciate his support and concerns, but you need him to be strong for you.  I thought about having a will written up for my son, but I changed my mind.  But having a will is a personal choice, and I don't think it's a bad idea.

I had co workers and other family members tell me not to have the surgery because they thought I would die on the operating table.  The other one I would hear, they knew someone who died from having the surgery and they was concerned for me.   I was hearing all kinds of horror stories and I just was determined to add years onto my life and go through with the surgery.

It's just amazing that when you hear of someone going for heart surgery, you never hear someone say anything negative.  It seems like with WLS,  people feel like it's a death march and you won't survive the surgery.  If I had to have the surgery all over again I would.

I pray and hope all goes well with you, and you have a successful surgery.  
 

Just do what you feel is right, but if you do write letters have someone hold them in case, otherwise they will just worry more. Plus, anything can happen to you in everyday life.

On another note, this is the best decision I've ever made.

Thanks guys. I know that this is the best decision for me and my family. I am not backing out, I've worked to hard to get this far. I just needed some reassurance and you gave me that. I appreciate it. I know that this surgery will change my life for the better and am looking forward to every day that the Good Lord gives me in that new life. I just worry sometimes, like I said, late night thoughts creep up. Thanks guys you are the best.

My surgery is in exactly 29 hours.  Everyone I know has said something like "why are you doing this to yourself", "are you sure you want to do this".....etc.  I know my husband is worried, my mother is worried.  I am worried.  I dont want to leave my kids without a mother.

I am sitting here trying my best not to think about the actual surgery.  I find myself on the brink of a panic attack when I do!

I thought about writing letters to my children......and others but I havent done it.  I dont know what I would say.  At this point I think it my add to my anxiety.  If you're going to do it I wouldnt wait until a day before surgery!

 The surgery was and is the least of my fears concerning VSG.  My fear was when my obesity would kill me- the surgery was a risk. The morbidity of my obesity was a sure fact.

JB

  JB, I completely agree with you. He's right, there is risk in ANY surgical procedure you have done, but it's worth the risk to avoid dying from obesity. 

Don't let the pre-surgery willies get you! Everything will be fine. The VSG is one of the safest procedures out there in WLS. I am having mine done on the 27th, and I am looking forward to it. Just think how great it will be in the future, a year from now when you have achieved what you set out to!
The pay-off will be soooo worth it!!! 

 Hello friend:

your words above so precisely spell it out.

I was basically a "healthy" fat dude -- but it was VERY clear I was not gonna stay that
way forever.

The surgery was a risk -- but eventual obesity-related illnesses were all but guaranteed.

This is exactly why I've gotten over my fears of the surgery, and what restrictions it might bring in the future. My surgery is about 6 wks away.  I have so many restrictions now with a BMI of 61, that it's absolutely the best for me.  I feel more comfortable with this because it is less severe that the full gastric bypass.   I look forward to the mobility rewards that are ahead for me, and as another person said, 'o live with my husband, kids and 9 grandkids, rather than watching them live.

It is understandable that your husband is worried it is a dangerous surgery. But this surgery will give you your life back and so much more so it is worth the risk if you are ready to take it.

For me I was scared as well because I don't do well with surgeries and have always had some type of complication but I knew that I had to take a chance and I am glad that I did. I am almost 100lbs. down since Dec. 2010 and there is no looking back.

I had already had my will done years back so that gave me comfort. Then as I am waiting in the waiting room before my surgery I start thinking of all that could happen and I start telling my mom and daughter's dad what my wishes were just in case things don't turn out well. So if I could change anything it would be that I would have already done that in a letter or basically just anytime other than right before my surgery. My family and I were worried enough I don't think they needed me expressing my final wishes but it needed to be said it was just bad timing on my part.

So if it were me I would write the letters and have them put up with instructions to read them if something happened or give them to someone that you trust to pass them on if needed. There is relief in knowing that you are prepare and everything is taken care of if needed.

Also talking about being prepared have you gotten all the things that you will need for after the surgery? It really helped me to have all the necessities needed for the first couple of weeks. If you don't I think you will find several post on what is best to get to be ready.

Good luck on your surgery and your journey!