Nice...

I am feeling a little bit disappointed.  I finally confided about my sleeve surgery to an old best friend of mine.  Her reaction really was not what I expected.  She seemed shocked when I told her. 

What she said could pretty much be summed up with "that can't be safe.  Yikes. hopefully it works well for you...  and I just can't believe that any doctor is ok with removing 80% of a stomach..."  We were texting she messaged me about the bachelorette and I went back and forth should I tell her, should I wait or just not tell her...

This is why I have chosen to only share my wls surgery journey with immediate family and one of my friends.  I'm a little hurt and disappointed.  I didn't know what else to say to her.

I'm sorry that the conversation didn't go as planned. I understand completely how it feels to not have people be supportive of your choice in WLS.

In the beginning I had a lot of people tell me not to do it and that it was a terrible idea. My answer was generally, "Watch me do it anyway!" Strangely a lot of people that told me it was a bad idea have told me I look great recently, which feels fantastic...

But if someone isn't supportive of what you're doing to better yourself and your life, then screw em'. Surround yourself with people that are supportive and encouraging. You are strong, and if you can do this, then you can do anything.

/: I'm sorry that telling your friend didn't go over well.  A lot of people are mis-informed and just don't understand, unless they're in the same position..  I've been debating with telling people myself.. I've opted not to for now just so i dont have to bother with peoples remarks.. But after surgery i'll probably tell everyone.. a facebook status 'yep. just have the vsg.. (:' and let people say whatever theyw ant but at the end of the day it was my decision and i know i needed it..

You did it for your health and other peoples opinions shouldnt matter.. you cuold try and inform her the benefits of the surgery and why you chose it, but at the end of the day shes gonna believe what she wants to believe, and you just need to knwo you have support from your immediate family (hopefully.. My family isnt very supportive.), and everyone here on OH. (:

First of all, I don't care what anyone thinks about anything I do. Never have. Never will. I don't need anyone's permission or blessing to live my life. I simply don't care what anyone thinks. Period.

Having said that, sometimes I wonder if some peoples' reactions to WLS is nothing more than ignorance. Or not being informed. I'll use myself as an example. A little over a year ago I ran into a co-worker I hadn't seen in quite a while. I knew there was something different about her but couldn't put my finger on it. Turns out she'd had RNY a few months earlier and was looking fabulous. We ended up talking and she explained WLS to me. I was amazed at what I learned. Previously I'd thought WLS was dangerous. A last-ditch attempt to surgically alter someone who was dangerously obese. A type of surgery no one in their right mind would willingly submit to. The breadth and depth of my ignorance was astounding. After our nice chat I got on the computer and continued educating myself. I learned how wrong wrong wrong I had been. Not afraid to admit it.

Don't know, but maybe a lot of people we talk to share my old misconceptions. Maybe? Perhaps a chat rather than messaging could clear things u*****t..... 

Sometimes, people's reaction to this kind of news isn't really about you, but about them, and how they feel with the idea of their friend changing so much. Sometimes it's very comforting to have a fat friend, and when the fat disappears it leaves them feeling insecure, afraid that you'll change and turn into someone they don't know. I've discovered that fat can be a security blanket for the people around you. Fat, you are non-threatening, non-competative.

Don't worry about your friend's reaction. She'll get used to it. This time is about you, and how you need to be healthy and lose the weight, and be the best you can be. Good luck!

 I couldn't agree more with Pebbles, and I've been there too.  I only told a few people about my decision to have wls, and a few of them did have negative feedback.  But you know what? If they are true blue, they'll get over it and continue to be a friend to you.  If they can't get past it, and continue to be insensitive or non supportive, go ahead a lose the "weight" of that person / and / or negativity b/c that you don't need. Well wishes dearie, keep on keeping on.

Read this article. The first successful partial gastrectomy (which is what we have... a partial gastrectomy) was preformed in 1881.... Thousands have been preformed. THOUSANDS. It's not new, it's not experimental. That seems to be what a lot of people are scared of and have a problem with. They've never heard of it. My husbands grandfather had a partial gastrectomy in the 50's for ulcers and lived out the rest of his life into his old age.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastrectomy

On another note, she may just be scared that you will get thinner than her and she's feeling threatened...

I get stuff like that all the time..."How is that working for you?",  "A friend of mine had surgery and she and she has problems", "oooo, how are you feeling?".  I just say I am doing great and shrug it off.  Think back to when you first heard of someone that had wls, you had a lot of thoughts too I am sure and there is still a stigma attached to wls that is negative. Point is, don't take it to heart, you know you did the right thing for you and they will eventually see that you are still alive, doing great and looking great too.

I hope you and your friend work things things out. I am sure it was just shock! Especially since she could not see your facial expression and how happy you are. I remember when I first started thinking about wls I was like...really Laurie? isn't that dangerous? So I started reseaching and at first I was so freaked out when I read about gastric sleeve I never made it past the "remove 80% of your stomach" section. So I looked into Lapband. Had a consult...read up on it, went to another seminar where they discussed all wls procedures and it was there that I learned more about vsg. Sooo then it was make to research and this wonderful board to become educated. Guess what? I cancelled my "safe" Lapband and will now have VSG. So I guess my point is when you first find out or hear about wls...especially the" remove and rearrange" kind it does freak you out af first until you can become educated. I guess that is our mission now huh?

1. Anyone who is negative about a surgery that you have already had is just plain insensitive or ill-mannered. What are you going to do?- "well, that's a good point. Hadn't thought of that. I guess I'll just turn back the clock and don't do it." Duh!
2. You shared a major medical decision over a text. Not a very good way for her to read you.
3. Since people usually don't know anything about this surgery, if you are going to tell them, you need to take the time to explain it to them. Probably not done over a text.
4. Some overweight people feel left behind. Some thin people feel "superior" and like you are cheating to get into their club. Both are often based on insecurity.
5. There has to be a reason why you hesitated telling her. I've been very selective. I had no hesitation about the few people that I told.
6. You are rightfully disappointed, but you shocked her over a text. The real test is how she reacts later. And maybe a real explanation from you is a good idea. A true blue friend will be happy for your weight loss. You'll know if she is.