Frustrated by my pics and mirror

 I see the photos posted online of people who lose eighty pounds and they look like an entirely new person and though I am happy for them it frustrates me.

I look at my pics and I dont see any change even though the scales say I have lost a bunch of weight and I am wearing 2xl instead of 5xl.  To me it looks like I am in reducing in scale, so that I look exactly the same at 308 lbs as I do at 420- like a bonsai version of myself.

It has to be psychological, like an anorexic seeing imaginary fat on her skeletal frame.  To see I pulled out my levi jacket from last year and I can wrap it one and ahalf times around me now.  Last year I could even button it-so when does our eyes catch up with our new appearances?

I tried to put pics on here but they would not post so just look at my profile photos if your curious.

JB

It's definitely a head trip - I go through it every day. I have lost 137 lbs ( a whole freaking person!!) and I still see the same person I was at 420 lbs in pics and in the mirror. I have my moments though where I will pass a mirror and be like "damn i'm skinny" but that's more the exception than the rule.

I will periodically try on my "fat clothes" just to amaze myself. I can fit both legs into one leg of my old suits and I just stare at myself for a while and do some healthy, postive self talk :)

I think when we start at a higher weight/BMI, we don't see such astonishing results after 80lbs or so (hell I didn't even lose a clothing size until maybe 50-55 lbs lost originally). But, you will see it soon (but trust me, you can definitely see the difference in your pics now).

jb:

I think sometimes the reason we got so heavy was because we never saw ourselves as others see us.  You're probably not the best judge of how you look and you're probably not very objective.  Have other people commented on your weight loss?  You mentioned your clothes are much bigger.  Just have faith that your weight loss is properly reflected in the mirror and it's your mind that is skewing the reflection!  Keep up the great work!

curleeqgirl

I have the same problem. Intellectually I know that I'm smaller. The trouble comes when I see myself naked; I feel like I look exactly the same. Every single insecurity and problem area is still right there in front of me, glaring like a spotlight. Cramming my hanging fat apron into a pair of size 16 jeans feels just as bad as cramming it into a size 22. I signed up for change, damn it! I don't just want to be a smaller version of my old self!

I'm in therapy and am trying to temper my expectations of what my mental "after" picture will look like. I may not match the picture in my head until after plastics, and I'm working to come to terms with that. It's a struggle, and I totally empathize with you.

I understand what you are saying... I guarantee you, that you look different! Its so hard to see it within yourself! When I look at pics, esp before and after of myself, I can see a difference.. But just looking down at my body, or looking in a mirror, I dont see anything different. To me, I still look like I weigh 313 lbs. Before my surgery, I remember having a conversation with my Hubby about this.. I told him that I didnt understand how when someone loses a large amount of weight, they dont see a reflection in the mirror of their new body. It confused me that they somehow still see the old, bigger person in the mirror. I get it now. Dont understand how it works, but it is a serious brain issue. lol. I think it just takes a lil while for our brains to catch up with our bodies.

Edited to add: I just looked at your pics, and dude, you look fantastic!!! I can see major changes in your face, chest and abdomen!! Try not to be so hard on youself! : )

It's an odd thing. I know for me, I never saw myself big as I truly was at my largest, and when I lost significant weight.. I saw myself bigger than I actually was. Pictures help. Trying on old clothes help.. heck on the main forum, someone posted a mental "trick" that is akin to mirror-box therapy for people with ghost-limb pain from amputations.. put a bag over your head, with the eyeholes opened up and look at your body in a mirror! Sounds comical, but your brain losing the connection that it associates by seeing your own familiar face can now "see" your body correctly. It may take some practice, but I fully intend to try it. It can't hurt!

edited for typo

 I've "only" been obese for 7 years.  But when I weighed 150-160 I felt like I looked just like I look now (but when I look at those pictures I think, omg look how skinny I was).  So it was a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.  I fully expect to have this issue after surgery as well so I'd love to know how you got your brain to catch up in the future!

I think there are a couple of factors coming into play here:

1. Someone who loses 80lbs of their 400lb+ frame isnt going to see as much of a difference as someone who for example is 300lbs and loses 80lbs, its not as large a percent.

2. It seems there comes a point where yes, you are lighter, smaller, wearing smaller sizes but its not as dramatic then BAM it seems to happen over night where the weight loss really starts to show..for me the first 65-80lbs werent as big of a difference as the last 20-30..

3. Body dysmorphic disorder is common for those of us losing weight, still seeing ourselves at a  certain size. Like you mentioned it almost like it takes a while for our brains to catch up...i still find myself grabbing clothes several sizes too big or walking into a room thinking people are staring because im so heavy..

what a crazy ride!

 I am on that train too.  Until I look at old pictures of myself, I do not realize how big I looked, and now that I have lost almost 100 pounds, I still imagine myself as bigger than what others see me.  I still try to shop in bigger sizes than I am wearing and the other day, I was walking into a public restroom with mirrors all along the wall.  I saw a lady in there and immediately my mind did the old comparison thing where I look at someone and decide that I am about that size.  Well when I got to the point where I was beside her in the mirror, I could see that I was significantly smaller than her.  It kind of shocks your mind when things like that become apparent.

 I don't know how tall you are, but realize too that height effects the way weight distribution looks.  I'm 6' and when I woul dgain 20 -30 lbs. it never looked like that much, and I often never changed sizes.  The same is true of me losing weight.  I have lost 65lbs. in 3.5 months and still wear that same clothes.  Yes, some are more loose fitting, but they still fit none the less.

Just remember that we never see our progress the way others do because we see ourselves every day!