I enjoy that  am losing weight again - but I realized that I am viewing my life as kinda on hold till the weight loss goal is met.  As if I the door will be opened and the nurse will call my name to go back and start my life again.  

I just realized this and I am not sure what to think about it.  My life will not be dramatically different as I will still have my same self and identity.

What is your wisdom on this?

There will not be any magical moment when you hit goal - nothing is going to change. This whole thing is a process. Go out and live, experience life. Tomorrow is never guaranteed so no point in waiting for it.

I'm still 280 lbs and I've been making myself do things that make me very uncomfortable - attending social functions I've avoided, flying, taking group exercise classes and things like that. While losing weight, im working on my self esteem and confidence levels, and pushing myself to grow as a person. I don't want to have to wait until goal to work on all of that.

I get this, and I feel like this, too, to a certain extent.  But then again, sometimes I read posts from people who are so discouraged and upset trying to lose the last 5 or 10 pounds to goal, and I think, "What would be so different for that person if they weighed 5 pounds less?"

I understand waiting to do certain things that being heavier prohibits, like flying or going to an amusement park, but really, I think we all should be starting to live the lives we envision for ourselves now, while we're in the process.  If we start now, I think it will help our long-term success and prevent the "let-down" effect that could come after reaching goal. 

You're right, we'll all still be the same people and have the same lives when we reach goal, unless we start making meaningful changes (if needed) now.

Interesting topic -- thanks for posting this.

One of the odd things is that I have nothing planned for when I do reach goal.

It's like I am consumed right now with weight loss and everything else is secondary.  As if the weight loss is my life.

I think one of my problems is I am very low income and in a very remote area, everything I want to do is hours away and beyond my budget.  Plus my time is very limited as I am fostering several children plus my own.  I need to think of ways to do things where I am now.  

I think I am going to build some furniture, do some art, or maybe write a novel.

in the 19 mos post op and 98# I have lost,my life has not changed significantly. Yes,I am focused on losing the rest of my excess weight,but NOT in preparation for some "big wonderful"event. Just for living my life the healthiest I can.

We are also limited in budget to the extra things we can do,but when we do get to do something extra,I can REALLY enjoy it because I am no longer hindered by excess weight.

I don't and didn't pre op, expect anything to be drastically different in my life. it is what it is and I just try to live each day as it comes. It is enough to me to know that *maybe* *hopefully*,I have increased the number of days I will have to spend by having WLS.

What about blogging?  I just started a WL journey blog to chronicle myself now to hopefully goal.  It kills the time, plus when I write I usually figure things out in the process. Just an idea :)

You might try browsing through the goals section on this website, and giving yourself some along-the-way goals. Thats how I got out of the 'waiting period' mindset.  If you take this as a waiting period and not a journey, I think you'll miss out. One of  my goals is comfortably riding in rides at an amusement park (without having the attendant have to jump up and down on your harness to make you fit, or worse, turn you away), which I intend to do on October 2nd at the 6 flags great adventure Fright Fest. I keep looking for new 'perks' to the surgery I originally did primarily so I could keep up with my kids, and I'm finding a lot of them. Clothing styles I never thought I could entertain, jumping on the trampoline without fear of tearing through it, climbing the ladder to the attic and being within the weight limit, buying a camp chair that didn't have 'max' or 'xl' on the label, little things that I rethink every day that make me say, hey, I get THIS TOO along with the health and the new repository of vanity I never had which makes me actually bother with makeup and jewelry? Score! Each one of these things makes it an active, living thing instead of a 'stage I go through till I get to weight x and can live my life'. 

I wonder if the hesitance we all have to buy new clothes while we're rapidly dropping weight starts that mindset? I have been thrift shopping like  a madwoman to keep up and not be wearing the baggies--I know that started a new 'feel' so maybe just go out and get a new outfit or two that FITS (or is even a little tight for now). That might be enough to start you down the path of your new life :)

 

Yeah for foster parents !!! (I'm a social work supervisor for a foster family agency !!)

This is what I do; I make some mini goals for myself; and reward me with special things that are not food oriented -- and that are within my budget -- and yes, I do save some money up for a couple BIG rewards for myself.

But MY big rewards are what are big for me -- not what might be big for someone else !

My small rewards ? for things like each 10 pounds ? Planning a special day /outing with friends -- for a walk at the beach; taking myself to the used book store and trading in some old books for "new" ones --- costs me a buck or two, or sometimes nothing, or sometimes I even earn a couple bucks ! I also get on the computer and look for great deals for goods and services -- I've had a $100 massage at a day spa for half price for my 100 pound lost celebration !!!

I also find that moving beyond my "old" circle of aquaintances and meeting new people who never knew me as "fat" is a really incredible journey in itself. I took a new job recently, and no one there knew me when I weighed 300 lbs. I love how I can "pass" for normal !!! It's a celebration every day in my head. We had a conversation on childhood obesity last week, and when I realized (in my own little head) that no one was looking at me as the fat lady; I almost cried with joy.

It's all about (for me) taking joy and pride in the everyday activities that I can participate in -- and taking note of how much I have changed myself. -- Just yesterday I was frustrated with something at the office. In years before, I would have been eating something bad for me. I got up, strode out of the office; and told the secretary that I needed a walk. I walked around the building complex for 10 minutes. And thought about how much I have changed me, and how those changes continue to change me.

I will not wait to become anything.....I am part of the experience and am enjoying every part of the ride !