Feeling Guilty
I heard from my insurance company today and they have denied my request for weight loss surgery. 
This makes me really sad, however, all along I've been speaking with my husband about other options including self pay. We've discussed other options because I'm right at 40bmi, and no co-morbities. We've discussed Mexico and that was my second option. However, I spoke with my doctor and hospital today and the price is much less than the 20K I've been hearing about and only a little over the well know Dr. in Mexico. So we decided to go ahead and have it done local, self pay. Here's my problem, I'm feeling really guilty that I'm unable to loose the weight myself and have to pay for surgery to loose weight. I'm feeling that I'm taking away from my family. My oldest son is going away to college next year which will be a big expense. We won't be paying for the surgery with cash but a no interst loan which will give us monthly payments. I feel like a looser, that has no self control. I'm filled with so many emotions right now one being a bit of excitement knowing my date is Dec. 20th!! Any words of wisdom to make me feel that this is the right choice will mean the world to me. Thanks for listening.
This makes me really sad, however, all along I've been speaking with my husband about other options including self pay. We've discussed other options because I'm right at 40bmi, and no co-morbities. We've discussed Mexico and that was my second option. However, I spoke with my doctor and hospital today and the price is much less than the 20K I've been hearing about and only a little over the well know Dr. in Mexico. So we decided to go ahead and have it done local, self pay. Here's my problem, I'm feeling really guilty that I'm unable to loose the weight myself and have to pay for surgery to loose weight. I'm feeling that I'm taking away from my family. My oldest son is going away to college next year which will be a big expense. We won't be paying for the surgery with cash but a no interst loan which will give us monthly payments. I feel like a looser, that has no self control. I'm filled with so many emotions right now one being a bit of excitement knowing my date is Dec. 20th!! Any words of wisdom to make me feel that this is the right choice will mean the world to me. Thanks for listening. 
Appeal! I'm not sure how the process works, but talk with your surgeon's office staff. They know the ropes. There may be one little detail that wasn't done to your insurer's liking. Who knows. Don't self pay until your appeal process is exhausted. At 40 bmi without comorbitities you meet the standard for WLS set by the NIH. Please don't feel guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty about (though I understand where you are coming from). Instead, get mad and go advocate for yourself.
Sorry to hear that. :(
I would definitely give the appeal route a shot first. It might take a month or so....but if it saves you 10-20k....probably worth it!
As far as giving a conventional diet another shot....I will say that once you have made the decision to pursue WLS....its very hard to commit to another traditional diet. You always think.....I can just get WLS if I can't do it....so the motivation isnt' really there.
However, if you feel you can do it....and you truly have no co morbidities...go for it. Most if not all people getting WLS have numerous co-morbidities that are truly sucking their life away and need WLS to save their lives. If you feel you have the time to commit to giving it another shot....why not?
I would definitely give the appeal route a shot first. It might take a month or so....but if it saves you 10-20k....probably worth it!
As far as giving a conventional diet another shot....I will say that once you have made the decision to pursue WLS....its very hard to commit to another traditional diet. You always think.....I can just get WLS if I can't do it....so the motivation isnt' really there.
However, if you feel you can do it....and you truly have no co morbidities...go for it. Most if not all people getting WLS have numerous co-morbidities that are truly sucking their life away and need WLS to save their lives. If you feel you have the time to commit to giving it another shot....why not?
I would appeal also. Find out what the process is and go for it. As far as having the surgery, self pay or not. Do you think your kids would rather have 20,000 or their healthy mother for many long years to enjoy her. Do you think they want your around when they have kids and their kids can know this new healthy fun grandma or the 20,000 dollars? We cant take care of our families when we are sick and have no energy. We become a burden to them in time. Our lives become a prison inside these restricting obese bodies and limit every activity. I believe that your kids and husband would rather have you around for a long time than 20,000 dollars. Your worth it...
I agree with the others about the appeal. I've heard that sometimes the procedure isn't coded correctly and if it's a simple as that, it might not be much of a fight to get approval. It can't hurt to ask WHY it was denied.
And if you do have to self-pay, please try not to feel guilty! The quality of life you will have after losing the weight is so worth the financial cost. You will be healthier, happier, and be able to spend more quality time doing things you probably can't or aren't doing now. Good luck!
And if you do have to self-pay, please try not to feel guilty! The quality of life you will have after losing the weight is so worth the financial cost. You will be healthier, happier, and be able to spend more quality time doing things you probably can't or aren't doing now. Good luck!
I was self pay 4 weeks ago today. At the start I felt guilty but if there was anything I wanted to spend the money on it was the surgery.
My husband was 100% for spending the money. I have already saved on diabetes drugs and hope the others are not far behind. My grocery bill is lower also.
Think of something you would really want for that price and then compare the weight loss surgery cost. I bet you will find the WLS expense will go a lot longer than some "thing" you want to have.
My husband was 100% for spending the money. I have already saved on diabetes drugs and hope the others are not far behind. My grocery bill is lower also.
Think of something you would really want for that price and then compare the weight loss surgery cost. I bet you will find the WLS expense will go a lot longer than some "thing" you want to have.
I was a self pay as well, I felt a little guilty and was thinking this is a selfish act to do for myself. However, I am seven weeks post op and I have NOT ONE BIT OF REGRET! This was the best decision I have ever made for myself.
I am very happy and guess what, so is my family. They see how happy I am, and that I am looking and feeling so much better. No regrets whatsoever. We always are doing for others as wives and mothers. I vote do this for yourself, you won't ever look back. The only loser you are going to be is on the scale!!!
I told my husband he was getting a deal considering I have spent thousands on diets and diet foods over the years. I am saving us many more thousands than it costed, no more diet programs and diet food to buy. And I am healthier which is going to save us as well. I had no health issues going in but with family history it was only a matter of time before illnesses started showing up being so overweight.
Good luck to you and enjoy the ride!
I am very happy and guess what, so is my family. They see how happy I am, and that I am looking and feeling so much better. No regrets whatsoever. We always are doing for others as wives and mothers. I vote do this for yourself, you won't ever look back. The only loser you are going to be is on the scale!!!
I told my husband he was getting a deal considering I have spent thousands on diets and diet foods over the years. I am saving us many more thousands than it costed, no more diet programs and diet food to buy. And I am healthier which is going to save us as well. I had no health issues going in but with family history it was only a matter of time before illnesses started showing up being so overweight.
Good luck to you and enjoy the ride!
I self-paid and also felt guilty about spending the money. My wife pointed out that this was an investment in our future and would benefit the entire family.
She was correct. I'm healthier, lost all my excess weight, more active and participate completely in family and social events.
Look at the VSG as an investment that will deliver dividends for years to come. When you break down the cost over the years of healthy living you're going to have with your family you'll see the cost is small.
Good luck,
George
She was correct. I'm healthier, lost all my excess weight, more active and participate completely in family and social events.
Look at the VSG as an investment that will deliver dividends for years to come. When you break down the cost over the years of healthy living you're going to have with your family you'll see the cost is small.
Good luck,
George
You and I are in the same situation! I am working on getting my insurance stuff together and hoping to send it in in December. I also am right at a BMI of 40 and have no co-morbidities. I have talked with my husband over and over on this situation, in case I don't get approved. We have decided that we will do self pay if they don't. I to feel guilty about having this expense but I keep telling myself some things. 1. My family needs be to be the best I can be for them, and at this weight, and I am not being the best I can be. 2. I work hard everyday (I am a teacher) bringing home a pay check and feel like I deserve to do something for myself. 3. I do plenty for my family and all their needs, plus more, are always meet.
If the rolls were reversed, I would let my husband do it in a heartbeat, to help him be healthy and happy.
Don't feel guilty about bettering yourself!
If the rolls were reversed, I would let my husband do it in a heartbeat, to help him be healthy and happy.
Don't feel guilty about bettering yourself!
Most Active
Recent Topics
