Am I the only one dealing with this?

Hello everyone,


I am now almost 9 weeks out. For most people it is the food portion that sends them into shock after surgery. Not me. I am okay with that. I think I am afraid of weight loss success. I know that sounds crazy but that is how I feel some days(most). I have lived my life over weight since probably around 6 or 7 years old. I am so used to seeing myself being big that I am afraid to see myself small. So I am having like this mental struggle of seeing my self dropping the weight. I have lost 24 lbs. since surgery. To me it has not been enough change in my body to really see a difference outside of my face and legs. But I don't feel any real motivation to eat right all of the time which I know it is slowing my weight loss down. I am not sure how to get pass this mental struggle. I am still working out but not eating how I should all the time.  I know you will probably say I should maximize the use of my tool but I think I am so afraid of being successful I find way not to make myself successful. I wanted this surgery to lose all the weight I struggled to get off for all these years, now that I have it I am not really motivated anymore. How do you get pass this?


Also for the veterans how many carbs and sugars to you try to stay under a day to maintain and continue your weight loss? Those are my weakness.


Please help.


Thanks

 I am certainly NOT a veteran, as my surgery date is next week, but I just want to encourage you to follow the prescribed plan by your doctor and stick with it.  Look at it as an exciting new country you're exploring since you don't know what to expect.  You have what is called a "fat self-image" and you need to change that in your mind, visualizing yourself slim, and keep that slim self-image always in your mind.  It will help you create the body you really want.  

I've been a yo-yo dieter all my life and have been slim and have been very heavy (swing weights from 140 to 275), and while I know I could once again diet and lose my weight, what I want to do is kill the yo-yo syndrome.  I have a slim self-image, visualize myself a size 10 (again!), and even in my dreams, I'm very slim.  It really helps in your journey to keep that image.

Hang in there and keep on losing!  Do it for your overall health.  The recommendations by my doctor are for no more than 6 carbs at any one meal, so that would equate to 18 carbs a day.  Stay at that level and you WILL continue to lose!  

Don't give up!!  You'll love the new you .... I'll guarantee it!  

~Sandi

Therapy. Seriously, this is more of a mental game than a physical one.. the physical (at least early out) is handled for us.. but without the mental work that we need to put in, in greater measure.. we can easily not reach goal, or rebound once there. Please get in with someone you feel comfortable with, and start the process now, rather than later- you have a good period right now where you have the physical advantage, use the time to get your mind in the game..

As far as a food plan, what does your surgeon say? Most plans that seem to have the highest success rate (percentages, not individuals.. there are exceptions to everything) call for around 600-800 cals a day, 70g+ protein, and under 40g total carbs a day. Basically a protein first plan, with some veggies when you have room.

Good luck, you can do this.. you just need to work on how you imagine yourself. You've lived your entire life big, you know no different.. it can be a head trip, that's why we need a head doc to help us work through it! 

Exactly what Jo says!

I'm currently in counseling to work on the mental part.  And her food plan is the basic one that most here follow (not all, but many).

I understand how weird it feels to think of your body changing, and of all things that are going to change in your life. I wish you had met with a good therapist before your surgery, to start working on these issues ahead of time; but there is no time like the present to start !

You really need to meet with a GOOG therapist that has dealt with people who have lost a lot of weight.

I will tell you that as a 55 year old therapist, myself; I THOUGHT I was ready, and I THOUGHT I would deal with the massive weight loss fine. And to that, I have; but it IS still difficult to see myself in the mirror, I don't always recognize myself ! I have had to re-think just WHO I AM now, and at 55 years old,and having been labeled as fat my whole life.....well, it really IS a whole new world !

Sometimes folks can get a bit depressed after surgery, there is a change in your hormones and the fast weight loss also contributes to it. I wonder if your lack of motivation and your self sabotage could be related to depression. Please talk to your surgeon and or your primary doctor about your feelings, and ask about seeing a therapist for a while. This is probably an easy fix, working with a skilled therapist, and you should not be afraid to try it.

As for what you are eating: Re read your surgeon's suggestions for you, and stick to it as best you can. You do not want to advance your diet too soon, and chance a leak. But don't worry that you have or will blow your chance to lose weight. The weight will come off, perhaps more slowly, but your body WILL chnage, now it's time to work on your head too.

Hang in there it will work out fine! I know you are not used to being slender,  but you deserve it! Sometimes we get so used to people labeling us, that we start to believe that what they say is all that we are worth! You are worth so much more than what people label you to be! It is time for you to live your life the normal way----The way that it was intended to be! So embrace the new you, as it is time to embark on a new life! You worked hard to get to this point in your life! Don't be afraid of positive change! GOOD LUCK

No you are not the only one dealing with self image. When I had my surgery I was super excited to lose the weight for myself that I didnt think of anything else but to be a smaller version of ME. But as the weight started coming off I also started to recieve alot of unwanted attention, especially at work. I have lost a good amount of weight since January and becasue of all the stares and vulgar comments I found that I wasgoing to work in clothes that are really big so that I can feel comfortable.

I now have come to terms with my new self and believe me it wasn't easy. I still wear baggy clothes so I'm comfortable.

 I've been working through two books my support group recommends for the psychological part of this journey.   One is The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life after Bariatric Surgery.   And the Other is "Eat It Up" The Complete Body/Mind/Spirit Guide to a Full Life After Weight Loss Surgery by Dr. Stapleton.    If those does get me through I'm totally going going to counseling but the books are great -- I answer the questions in my journal.    Good Luck!

My surgery isn't until December 5th but I've already had the same issue of worrying I might sabotage myself from being successful in using this great tool to my best advantage.  Speaking only for myself, I've had to do a lot of soul searching to try and understand why I'm overweight.  Some of my weight is because I'm PCOS and that tends to make a person heavy. Some is because I'm single and it is easy to give up the struggle against weight control.  Some is because I put everything else before taking care of my phsyical person for too long.  Some is I use the weight as a shield against a world that hasn't always been kind to me.  Now I'm 56, 266 pounds, with type II diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arthritic, with the situation only worsening if I don't do something for myself as soon as possible.

So, this is what I'm doing to put my fears to the side.  I look at the before and after pictures of other people and try to find out how their comorbidities are now and how they feel overall.  What I want is to get off some or all of the medications I'm on and get on the road to a healthier lifestyle.   Being able to wear nice clothes that don't come from the plus size stores will be a bonus.  And so far as the unkind people go, I'm going to let that be their issue to deal with as I have enough to worry about.

Good luck to you in resolving your issue.  If I find myself still worrying about succeeding in a few months, I'm going to go back to the psychologist my doctor sent me to for the pre-approval evaluation.