As if I don't have enough persecution in my head!

** This is post refers to spiritual matters, if you are not spiritual please do not be offended, and respect those who are**

 I just talked to my little sister today for the first time after surgery. She just doesn't know how to encourage when she is against something.

We grew up in church and for years I rely heavily on prayer and asking God for direction. This has miracously gotten me through some tough times in the past. My sister has been on this kick lately that although she doesn't live a healthy life and has ungodly habits she feels she can righteously judge people for what they do. She does it in a "loving" way but it still makes me feel like crap. She says "I don't think God would want you to cut out your stomach that He gave you. But now that you've done it I just pray that He will still be with you while you are healing and as you live your new life and you can be a testimony to others." I told her that she is the first person that I have encountered that is not supportive of my decision. And if she keeps it up I will not be able to talk to her for another month or so. I am already emotional and facing depression every other day and I don't need her "loving" judgement until at least I am more stable. She took the fact that I get depressed meant I regret it. And started praying for me to overcome the regret.

I understand her heart. I know that she just wants to help. I may have agreed with her a little more a year ago. When I first was contemplating surgery I felt the same that God wouldn't want me to alter my body like that. Then I thought of other people who have addictions or other problems living a healthy life. Bariatric surgery is a life saver. I prayed about it and asked God for direction and got the impression that for me, God is letting me choose either way. He had no opinion and it doesn't interfere or help my purpose He has for me. This was a long battle for me to choose and I am still battling my choice. I don't need my sister to remind me of the reasons that opposed my choice. She was trying to sugar coat it, "I know God can use anything according to His purpose" Whatever little sis, Don't judge me, you don't understand. 

Following her logic, people who believe in God shouldn't have mastectomies or hysterectomies either.  I'd throw that one back on her. 

I do believe in God with all of my heart. I also believe in prayers and I believe this was an answer to my prayers!! None of us has all of the answers and your sister certainly does not know Gods plan for you. None of us do. My suggestion is to pray for her that God will give her peace and to show her how she is upsetting you!

I will say a prayer for you that He will bless you and you can overcome the depression.

(((HUGS)))

I need a "Like" or even a "Love" button for this response!

I TOTALLY believe in God and feel that yes he did give us our bodies, but just as the power of choice, and free will, he gave us the ability to do what we want with it..

Think for a second: Do you really think that God would want you to die prematurely when you could have a surgery that HELPS your health and body? NO
He would want you to take care of the temple he gave you. Taking out a part that is not "helping" you isnt bad.

Someone gave me this GREAT anaology:

If you remove a breast because you have Breast cancer, is it any differnt? No...just because you are taking away from your body, your making your body better for the future:)

I am not religious in any way but what if you said this:

"You can not speak for GOD as I prayed to him and he supported my decision."

My sister responded in the very same way, in fact, so did her husband. We went to visit them for a weekend in October, right after I had my consult appointment. I privately told her of what I was going to do on Fri. evening, and she "freaked" out on me...then Sunday morning her husband preached a sermon about allowing the Holy Spirit to help us in the areas of our struggles, and he mentioned "diet." Then when we came home, my husband, who wasn't that supportive at first, said "well, what did you think of his sermon? Don't you think God can help you?" !!! As if I hadn't asked Him for help for the last 15 years as I attempted diet after diet?? !!!

It was for that reason I chose not to tell my parents until after my surgery. I wrote them a long letter, telling them that I could not continue to live with my morbid obesity and that "desperate times call for desperate measures" and that I had prayed for years about this decison and felt God was leading me to do this. Do you know my sister sensed what was going on that morning (she called my cell obviously didn't pick up so she called my son) and then she called my parents shrieking "I think Dottie is having stomach surgery!!" YIKES. I was in my private room about 1:00 that day after the surgery and my dad was calling me! My husband hurried up and left the hospital with my long letter addressed to my parents and some pages I had printed of the surgery. He called them and said "I am coming over to talk to you but all is fine."

When my parents read my letter and information, they were filled with relief 1) I had decided to do something about my obesity 2) I was ok (out of surgery) and 3) that I had not told them ahead of time because they would have been so worried!! I gave them the gift of not telling them so they wouldn't have to walk through that stress, and they were so appreciative. They came to visit me the next day in the hospital and were so excited and have been SO supportive ever since. I call them with updates and they encourage me all along the way.

I told them what had happened the weekend I told my sister and they immediately assured me "we don't believe that way Dottie. Why would God allow people to choose elective surgeries all the time? Reconstruction after cancer surgery, etc." To this day, my sister is cool towards me and not at all talkative about this exciting journey I am on...

I know, TMI. But I TOTALLY understand your disappointment about not being able to share this with your sister and her non-supportive and judgmental reply to you. Do not let her get to you! Yes, you may have to distance yourself from her for the first six weeks, since that is by far the hardest part of the journey (in my opinion) and you need to surround yourself with supportive people.

And relax, God has led you all the way - even to this day. He will not forsake you, nor leave you, and now that you made this big decision, He will guide you every step of the way!!

(((HUGS))) to you today!!

 Thank you once again Dottie for your encouragement, I look forward to reading what you say on my posts. You are always so helpful,

God helps those who help themselves! You took control of an out of control situation. My Sister was very non-supportive as well and my folks were worse. After a year, they've come around when I was able to show the health benefits and positivity this surgery has given me.  My Husband was my rock and the bottom line is...I did this for me.

Use your new body and your health to be more active in your volunteerism and continue to do His work!

Blessings!
Heidi