How about Ruggie's REAL VSG FAQ, guys?

So yesterday, I posted a tongue-in-cheek fake "Frequently Asked Questions" about some of the frustrations we get when we see someone, like a newbie, who's off in left field trying to figure out how to blend a pizza for his puree stage.  Even though I was making fun of all of you/us, I have to say I was impressed that people found it humorous rather than insulting.  That was my intention, but how often to intentions really work?  Some people even admitted to laughing, indicating that their med doses need tweaking.

Anyway, how about we make a list of REAL FAQs for VSG surgery?  Oh yes, there's some already out there, and Subliminate keeps a real nice one, for instance.

But let's talk about the non-obvious, non-mainstream stuff.  What's one thing that you wish you could have read about before surgery, that would have helped you out, or even made you feel better about, that the surgeons and nurses and diet guides just don't talk about? 

I'll even start our list off with a couple -

1) I wish someone had really hammered into my head "Your brain is going to think you're 30 pounds fatter than you really are as you progress and go buy clothing so buy small".  

2)  Start saving for plastic surgery now - just in case.

3)  During the Halloween - Thanksgiving - Christmas holiday season, you are going to really be challenged.  Don't even take home those "food gifts" you receive.

What about you guys?  What would you add to our non-obivous, non-sarcastic FAQ?

Early out-never trust a fart.

Hell, at 6 months out, never trust a fart.

OMG I had an accident about a month and a half out and I'm still scared to trust farts!!!

Those first couple weeks? Yeah, going poop is one of the most arduous tasks you'll ever embark on. You'll be constipated like a hibernating bear then wake up one day and have a fountain coming out of your rear. Moral of the story: humans are gross.

*Don't try crab as your first dense protein after purees and mushies. I might have known someone ... an acquaintance let's call her. She did that and paid the price.

*Drink you damn protein shakes and shut the f*** up about it. Seriously, I know very few people who run to the frig excited to chug (or sip) down their next protein shake for the day. I had to add coffee and SF hot chocolate mix to min. Figure out something that works and STOP fricking telling us that nothing is working. We've ALL had to drink them and we know you are full of **** and only fooling yourself.

You need to be prepared to answer well intentioned, but meddlesome questions that have to do with your weight loss. Good meaning people will unintentionally try to sabotage your WL with comments like, "You can't afford to lose anymore weight.", "You're getting too thin.",  "What happens if you get sick?You'll have no reserve!", or my favorite - the quizzical look with, "Are you serious? You want to lose more weight? Why?"  DUH!

 Dont get tempted by nice sweet gifts from co workers!

-It's still quite possible to be VERY depressed after surgery even if right afterwards you are on cloud 9 because of all of the excitement. That **** can hit you and hit you HARD.

Make sure you get your fiber or you will be hurting!