how can I be sure?

 Have tossed the idea of surgery around for a year or so now but since I have gained another 50lbs I really have been considering it strongly. I have been having trouble with my family explaining to them the reasons I feel I need this and now is a good time. I was so sure this is what I wanted to do... but now with everyone doubting me I feel like how do I really now!? Did anyone else have this problem? If so did you get the surgery or have buyers remorse? I just need a sign that this is the right thing to do. I'm only 20 and I'm taking out a loan to pay for this myself bc insurance doesnt cover wls and dealing with unsupportive family members is causing me to doubt myself! Please share if you have ever felt this way! Thank you :) 

Hey I am 22 and I'm pre op but also deal with a unsupportive family they say just about anything to make me change my mind but I think this is my life and my decision to change it for the better if this is something you feel strongly about do it for you and not anyone else.

You're 20's should be the best time of your life.  If you are obese, it won't be. Eventhough I'm only 3 weeks out, I wish I could've done this a long long time ago.  It's great to be able to eat to live now instead of living to eat.  I researched and questioned if I wanted to do this for a year. Now that I've had it done and I'm losing weight and feeling good... I'm so glad I did.  Only YOU can be sure though if it's the right decision for you but if you've always had a weight problem, you probably always will unless you do something about it now!! Good luck to you whatever your decision may be. I'm sorry your family is not on board with this idea.  Print out a lot of information and let them read it.  Maybe that will help.

Your family is worried about you. Maybe they are obese as well and feel threatened you are wanting to take charge and make changes. But mostly..they are worried. I am only 5 days out. The first 2 days I won't lie...I seriously doubted the decision! But that was pain talking. As of today, 5 days out from surgery plus 3 days before that of a liquid diet. I am down 12 lbs! Those are 12 lbs I will never see again. Within the next week I should say goodbye to the 200's for the rest of my life. Even if I do have rebound gain I will never ever see that 200 on my scale again. THAT makes this worth it.

The fact that very soon I won't be ashamed to have pics taken of me with my beautiful family... I have so many years of almost no pics with my kids. I am always the one taking the pics. But hate seeing the fat me in them so don't have many of me. THAT makes it worth it. Having energy to live life. To enjoy shopping. THAT makes it worth it. And most importantly...my health. I should live a longer and happier life once I get weight off. I gave myself more of a chance to enjoy my boys, and eventually their families. To enjoy activieties I have always wanted to do and never have because I was too fat or self concious.

If you feel you need to do this and your head is in the right spot. If your surgeon feels it is safe for you to do, then do it. Your family is not living your life. And if you are like all the rest of us, you aren't living your life the way you want to. At 20 the entire world is still ahead of you. Don't waste time with more regrets watching life go by. You will save yourself so many years of misery IF you feel you can do this and commit to all the life changes.

Sorry...off my soap box. THe best of luck to you in your decision. It is a hard one. I am 34, many years ahead of me too. But at my age I am married and the the support I needed I was able to get from my husband and close friends. The family I did tell was supportive as well, so I was lucky. But I didn't need anyone's support but my husbands at this stage.

VERY well put  Catrina!!!!

I am pre-op too. I am in a different place than you tho I might be able to offer you a perspective on the this topic. I am 45, married with 3 children and looking at health issues due to my weight. So for me it seems like a no brainer... scary still but it has a become a medical necessity for me. But I can understand your doubt. My son is 19 and I see his struggles to find himself. I can understand the concern your family has with you making a permanent surgical change to your body so young. With VSG there is no turning back. It is scary for a parent or family member to go down that road, especially if they have not had the weight issues you have had. I would imagine most of there reactions are out of concern and love for you. So don't be too hard on them.

At 20 you have so many more questions than I. Your life is just starting. Have you been obese all of your life or is your obesity a new thing? Can you pin point what has caused your recent weight gain? I think it would be helpful to find counseling with someone who understands obesity related emotional issues and is open to all options. I would imagine most bariatric surgeons probably could give you recommendations for finding a good therapist to help you sort this out away from your family... you need an objective 3rd party so you know you are making this decision for yourself.

Watch the video journal of Alise that I found on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/user/SlimmFast?feature=watch). She is in her 20s (I think late 20s), single, trying to find herself, and is very open about all of her feelings throughout the process. She is about 3 months out at this point. She is kind of a rebel about not following the rules (and pays the price for it not following the VSG diet at one point) and her reasons for doing the surgery are mainly so she can look better and feel better about herself and enjoy life (maybe a little too much). She doesn't have health issues yet. She financed her own surgery. I think you might find her videos interesting...she doesn't sugar coat it or say what people want to hear. She tells it like she's experiencing it.

I hope that helps. It is a big decision. So educate yourself on every aspect of VSG so you know what you are getting into. Educate your family along the way so it is not so scary for them. You will need their support. Good luck and know that we are all here for you. On this forum you can get a lot of great advice and just plain exposure to what VSG is all about first hand from those who have experienced it. So this is a great place to start.

I wish I did this when I was 20......it wasn't really around but still....the point remains.  I have seen VERY few people who had buyers remorse from this surgery (much fewer than with lap band or RNY).

As far as the loan....its an investment in your health.  You really can't put a price tag on that.  You are only 20 now....I was only 32 when diagnosed with pre-diabetes and hypertension.  It's like when you hit 30 your body starts to give out when you are obese.  Stop it in its tracks before you get that far.

This is something, that if you want to do it, you should do it for yourself and the hell to everyone else.  It is a big life change and things are different but if I could have done this at 20, I know I would have.  Think it over, but ultimately you have to go with what you feel is right for you!  Good Luck in making your decision.
Afterthought: As a nurse family is not always the most supportive, just because they are your family doesn't guarantee they will help you make the best decision or be there for you.  It's a hard lesson to learn so young but it's true.  There is support out there if this is what you chose to do. This board is one form of support and others exist also.

I wish this surgery was around when I was in my 20's. I feel like I wasted half my life being obese, unhealthy, and unhappy.  I feel like this is a new life and a new begining. 

Also a few years ago I talked about having the surgery with family and coworkers etc... I was discouraged so much that I did not follow through with it. That was 4 years ago. Also more weight gain I could have avoided. I let their fears talk me out of it.  They also sort of shamed me by saying "you can do this on your own" etc... Like I am weak or flawed for doing surgery. 

So I finally did what I had to do and did not tell anyone except my BF about it... until after it was done. And then I only told my mother and father.  Later after I lost 70 lbs I told my siblings.  No one at work knows. I dont need that negativity in my life.  Besides many people are so ignorant they think that the surgery is the "easy way out" and it is not easy.... BUT IT IS SOOOOOOOO WORTH IT.  I love my sleeve.  I have hope and faith now where I did not before... I will reach my goals. I will live my life well.  I am happier than I have ever been before. 
Do your research, ask questions questions questions... then decide... Good luck

I am scheduled for surgery July 2nd and I am always questioning  whether I am doing the right thing. I have researched all the weight loss surgeries and have decided (with the help of my doctor) that VSG would be the best for me. I am 56 yrs old and have been on diets most of my life. The pattern is the same, lose 50lbs, promise yourself you are going to continue to exercise and something comes up and you backslide into old habits. My body is telling me that if I want to enjoy grandchildren, then I better do something about my weight that will help my health. Doubts are always a part of the process, when my wife and I decided to have children we wondered if it was the right decision, when you had a big decision to make didn't you wonder in the beginning if you made the right choice? I think if I had the opportunity for this surgery 25 years ago, my life would have been more enjoyable. It is a major decision and you need to make3 sure you are ready for it, it is a lifestyle change although I think a good change. If your family is against it, then take mom or sis or bro to a WLS seminar and have them sit there and listen to it with you and ask questions. The more people know the easier they will understand your choice. My wife was not on board until we went to a seminar and now she is very supportive. She just didn't understand why I wanted to do thid, now she does. I don't know if this helped but I wish you luck in whatever you chooseand remember it is YOUR decision no one elses.