Had first date since surgery

Well actually first date in quite a while, but we won't go there.  It's very weird because I still see myself 50 lbs heavier and NEVER got flirted with at that size.

I know this is a personal decision, but I wanted to get input.  Has anyone told someone they were dating that they had wls (who didn't see this question coming)?  So far we've been to a movie and had 'drinks' (I had water) and he's asked if I don't drink.  I told him that I do sometimes but just chose not to at that moment.  That was the truth.  Although I haven't had a beer or wine since surgery (4/24/12).

I'm just looking for some insight as to how to handle this down the road I guess even though I know it's up to me whether or not I even tell him.

I started dating my boyfriend last summer.  I still had my LapBand, and that sucker was so unpredictable about when and if it would let me eat real food, not just chips, etc.   I mentioned my surgery to Enrique on our very first date. 

The conversation was flowing and for me, I wanted there to be an explanation up front if I wasn't going to be able to eat.  My band always got tighter when I was nervous, and first dates make me nervous. 

Looking back, if I had the sleeve then, and KNEW I could eat, but just a small portion, I am not sure if I would have mentioned it on the first date, but I would have brought it up fairly soon in the relationship.  That's just me....I feel like all of the cards should be on the table.  I totally understand why some people aren't comfortable with that approach, however. 

I feel like the cards should be on the table too.  I haven't obviously mentioned it yet but there's starting to be questions.  Thanks for the input! 

I mention it on all first dates. It is such a huge part of my life, and what has brought me to this point that if they cannot or will not accept the fact that I had surgery, then I do not want them in my life. Personally, it is more comforting for me to get it out in the open in the beginning, that way if they do not like it, we can go our separate ways before any real feelings develop... it also helps answer those pesky questions at dinner (oh you didn't like your food? full already?)

Well he already knows I don't eat alot since we actually met at the restaurant at which he works (he was my waiter).  He looked like he wanted to ask then but very politely didn't.  I know I wouldn't mention it on a first date but completely understand your point and why you do.  I agree that if they can't accept it then you don't need them.

Thanks for the input!

To be honest, I really don't mention it to someone I am dating.  If they comment on how little I eat I just tell them I don't eat much but the food is great.  I don't think of it as a secret.  I just  Don't feel that I owe the world an explaination.  I figure that if I meet someone that I think we will get serious then I will disclose it.

I agree that we don't owe the world and explanation even though we aren't (or shouldn't be) ashamed of our sleeves.  I'm certainly not ashamed of it, that's for sure.

Thank you for the input!!

I think it is very hard to conceal from someone who eats with us often, especially this early out.  Plus, you'll be melting away!  Unless he has the IQ of your protein shake, he'll know something is up!  Might as well discuss...

LOL!!!!  That made me laugh!  He's a fairly intelligent gentleman so I'm pretty sure he'll figure something out.

Thanks for this way of looking at it AND the laugh!

I think it's a heavy (no pun intended) topic for a first date, personally.  If the conversation goes there, I think that's fine.  I do agree with Happy - he's gonna figure something out when he sees you melting away.  It's not typical for someone to lose several pounds in the span of a week or two, and it could happen to you.  I will say, if he starts picking up on it, you might want to go ahead and tell him so that he doesn't think or worry that you might be seriously ill.

All that being said, I think whatever you decide to do will be just fine.  If it scares him off or puts him off in some way, he's not a keeper anyway.  You need people around you who will support you.  Enjoy your dates!