Seriously Mama!?!?

Okay, I KNOW this has been addressed before but I am mad, so I have to tell ya'll...

My mama has known about my desire to have this surgery pretty much ever since I started researching it...she has always had somewhat of an issue with it, but it alwas seemed like she was just concerned about me having surgery in general.

Now that I am actually trying to go through with it and getting things done for the approval, the snide remarks have been coming out.
Just last night she told me that I am taking the easy way out and that I wasnt always this fat, so why cant I just do what Im supposed to do and lose it
WOOOWW Mama!
Its a good thing I love her, cause I really wanted to go off.
How do I convince this "Normal Sized" woman that this is SO not the easy way out? 
And how do I do it without throwing in the "colorful adjectives" that I would like to use (but refrain from because she is my Mama)?

 I am two days shy of my one month surgiversary.  I tell everyone I may have "cheated" to get where I am going, but it is certainly NOT the easy way out!!  The liquid diets, soft diets, no soda, and learning to eat again is NOT easy!!  I miss eating. I miss the delicioius taste of food! I miss my soda!!  But I miss my old self more.  Surgery is a life long commitment and a TOOL to help with weight loss. It is not an easy fix!  As of today I am down 31 lbs from my initial consult. I am proud of myself and don't feel like this is easy by any means!! Maybe your mom is only worried and instead of admitting that snide remarks are her way of coping. I was shocked my mom was supportive.  Best of luck to you and I promise surgery is a move you will never regret!!

You may not be able to convince her. As an adult your decision is your decision. I have received "taking the easy way" or "I'm doing it the hard way" from others that think they are superior (in their weight loss efforts). These comments are uneducated and insensitive comments.

I believe you have to be convinced you are making the right decision for yourself - if you are not convinced than don't have the surgery. If you are - then your decision is the only one that counts. That is just my two cents maybe others will disagree.

I made the best decision of my life, have no regrets and have filed the negative comment and insensitive comments in the appropriate (round) file.

I too had to have a "discussion" with my mom. I have been researching (and actually this is the 3rd time I have tried going through the requirements for) the surgery now for about 10 years. I have been on some kind of diet since I was in the third grade. My mom was one that always said what she thinks (well to everyone but her own mom). She would constantly tell me that I needed to lose weight as I grew up.

So I knew she wouldn't be as supportive as I wanted, so when I told her I was doing this, her first thing was to say "I don't think you have done enough to lose the weight on your own."

For the last 5 months I have said very little about my progress with her. I did have to have a long discussion with her and I flat out told her, I have done my research. I am not going into this blindly. I am going to do this.

Good luck. Just stand your ground. You know that there will be a healthier and happier person on the other side waiting for you.

I keep getting comments from people too(family/coworkers ect), "have you tried it on your own first"? Gets so frustrating! I just remind them it's a tool for weight loss, not a solution. At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you! This site seems to be a great support system with people who are going though the same things you are. Your mom will come around when she sees how much healthier you are! :) Sometimes people don't like to see you improve yourself, let the haters hate! keep your head up!! You will get there!!

Hi,

OHHHH!! I can so relate to the comments from MOM!.  I love my mom but when I had my band and I would make a plate at a pic-nic, she would be the first to comment in front of everyone -"is that all you're eating"?  Like Hello - Lets draw attention to Kris's dinner.  Then I had to have my band removed - "I told you it was no good".   so, now I get, ya know, I know someone who had this and that and they almost died cause they did it this way and that way and they cheated and puked all the time and bla bla bla". " Why would you want to do it again?"  So, this time around, I am stating a fact.. If I don't do this, I will Die.  Not today, not tomorrow, but sooner than I want to.  So if you want to come to my funeral instead of me going to yours, then I won't have the surgery - You pick!!! Done..

If she thinks this is easy, then she is uneducated...you know this.  I had an unsupportive daughter and so I tried to arm her with information.  If they won't do any research on it, you can't make them.  But I provided several websites for my daughter to peruse and had a sit down pow wow about the procedure and what is involved in order to allay some of her fears.  This may help with your Mom.  Try to arm her with more information and maybe the remarks will lessen.  You also know (from your post) that these remarks are her way of acting out her fears for you.  Just take that into account when she says something, know where it's coming from and it won't hurt so bad.  Taking that approach helped me deal with naysayers in my life - their remarks let me know that they cared, but didn't know how to express what they were actually feeling.  Good luck to you and congratulations on your life changing decision!!!

Deb

I get the same thing from my mom. My sister said the exact same thing your mom told you. I told her she has no idea how hard this is. She said that she has seen me do it on my own before, why can't I do it now. I told her that it is the fact that I am sick of tired of the yo yo effect. This is rough, it's hard. I am not able to do everything that she can, the stuff they take for granted, like riding roller coasters, going on an airplane and being able to fit in the seat, buying regular size dry towels, etc. They have no clue. I told her I am doing this regardless of what she thinks, I have always done major stuff like this in my life, so she knows I am serious, it always works out for me, and it will this time. You just do you. The attitude will change after everything is said and done and you are looking fabulous and fitting into her clothes!

ya, my mom said the same shizzz, ita w/pp's hata's gna hate :P

While my mother is also heavy, I do think that she thought I was taking the easy way out.  Since I've had the surgery and she's seen what I've had to go through, I think she's thinking differently.  The surgery, the recovery, getting my strength back.  It's not easy and I didn't even have any complications. *knocks wood*  It's not like you have the surgery and two weeks later you're thin.  It's work.