Things I think about...

 I am waiting for my surgery..no date yet..but of course it's on my mind all the time.  I'm not scared of the surgery and recovery it's self..but my biggest worry is the mental part.  Me thinking out loud here..hoping for some direction or tactics.  I hear about Head Hunger on here quite a bit..and know what that feels like and how overwhelming that can be, I understand stopping and checking in with yourself as to WHY you think you should eat...9 times out of ten it's an emotional knee jerk reaction.
My worry is trading one addiction/bad habit for another!!!! I've heard of people who didn't previously have a drinking problem turn to alcohol, or maybe shopping becomes the new addiction. I know myself and all the logical reasoning behind why I am obese..the painful places that get numbed or buried...I've done 2 1/2 years of trauma counselling and to a great deal have dealt with those issues...and I can logically stand back and see that is the past...can't change it...wasn't something I could control at the time. Now I am left with lots of insight...but still have to retrain really ingrained habits. I long to be liberated from these self destructive habits...and do not want to mindlessly trade one thing for another.  I'm looking for that switch..that AH HA moment when the light comes on and the path is clear..no road blocks no detours on my journey to TOTAL health.  I AM worth it!   

You are worth it gurl, I'm so glad you recognize that. We are all worth it.
Yes yes... we need to be very careful of transfer addictions because I for one have already dabbled and played with the 2 you have mentioned. Luckily I have a great support system of friends who are getting me to refocus and remind me that I can control my life.
We do have control most of the time. Those other fewer times, we just need to remember to take care of ourselves. We only live once so let's make the best of it.

 Thank you Jenn! Self care is something I have to remind myself about ...busy taking care of everyone else most of the time lol..hence my name on here is MyTurn2012! 

I dont have any really great tips or anything that would help.  I am 7 months out and deal with the same issues still. i would recommend staying in counseling or going back if you stopped. it will help you deal with all the issues that come up as you go through the process of losing weight, transfer addictions and going back to your old habits. support groups, healthy/active friends and staying on OH are great tools.

Good luck
Sara

 Thanks Sara..I have been thinking that during my "recovery" from food addiction/WLS I should get myself into counselling that is specific to food addiction, my other counselling with a psychologist dealt mainly with trauma.  Financially that is going to be an issue as I have no insurance for this, and at 85-100$ per session could get REALLY expensive! Somehow I will manage to get help if I get creative and put my mind to it! 

The fact that you can acknowledge that you need some help dealing with food issues is a great start, since it shows you are ready to be honest with yourself. It took me a long time to be able to admit to myself that a lot of my eating was not fueled by body hunger. Maybe there are some free or low-cost counseling programs in your area? There are also some great books out there.

Have you checked your area for a weight loss group ? Even a Over Eaters Anonymous meeting maybe.

sending you lots of love.  the whole addiction aspect is defnitely freaky.  as a therapy person, somene who has a trauma history as well, and just, i don't know . . .  i would say, defnitely get back into therapy b/c it will help, especially with the eating that comes (for me) to comfort myself.  i really suck at comforting myself and carbs have always done it for me.  i'm at 18 mos and i do still struggle with that but it is less and less.  i am still with the therapist that i've been seeing for a while and it does help even though she doesn't work specifically with weight issues.  the trauma therapist may do fine -- and you know her.

i'm also a social worker at a mh agency.  one of the suggestions we often give to people who call the helplie where i work, when they don't have health insurance, is that if they have a  univeristy with a medical school attached to it, they can check to find out about counseling with a 3rd yr psychiatric resident (they have plenty of training) often at a much reduced fee.

i hope this helps a little bit.  you are worth this and so much more.  and the sugery really does help.  even I have learned to stop when i don't need to eat any moe (that saiety thing that i never understood befre!)  feel free to pm me if you'd like!   ((((hugs)))))

 Hi Ann...thanks for all the encouragement and support.  I live in a small coummunity with no University within 3 hours drive. I will look into local help further, my trauma therapist did mention early on that there is someone in my area that deals with food issues...I just need to find out the session cost and if they do reduced pricing for low income clients.  I do understand what triggers me, and it's the sneaky way my brain shuts off to reason until I'm nearly through a second helping of something comforting! I get needing to be intune and conscious of my feelings, checking in with myself..it's easier to do when stress levels are lower..but put me in a high state of anxiety/stress and all reason is gone.  My diet so to speak is fairly healthy, I read lables and know what to avoid and for the most part do. No cookies/chips/cheese burgers or soda in my house. My problem is quantity, when I have dinner with all the lean meats and fresh veggies..I simply take too large a portion...and things like potatoes/rice/pasta/bread are my weakness..if I don't include them in my meal I do not feel satisfied.  In the past my thought was if I choose multigrain bread, non fried potatoes, par boiled rice etc then I was being healthy..but in fact I know that wheat products no matter how they are dressed are not a healthy choice for me.  I am a pretty decent cook, and things taste a little too good lol.  My thought about getting the VGS is it will help with portion control, and will force me to be more conscious and have a well thought out plan. The weight seems to come off very rapidly which will be mentally encouraging..and I know I will feel much better and be more motivated. I've been struggling for 25yrs with weight issues that keep on climbing year after year with little slowing down. I've been doing the work so to speak to address the underlying issues that got me here, I have gained insight into how strong of a woman I actually am...my therapist said many would have simply given up long ago. My weight is my next challenge to look after...I know I am worth it! Thanks again ..from one Ann to another ;-)

Ann